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Hi all - Got invited to go with my family on a special trip at the end of the month. WH & I were going to take some time off work together & do some things here with DS. I am seriously considering going out of town without him....Just don't know if that would be a wise choice. However; I do need to do something for ME and it might show WH that my life doesn't revolve around him. I would make sure WH knew that in no way did it mean I didn't want to be with, but I needed some time away. There is still NC with OW, but you know what as I was driving home from work today I had a wave of "SO WHAT" I don't want him anyway feeling come over me. That changed though when I was with him at home tonight..... I didn't do a very good job with exposure & I know I am not finished yet. I ended up telling him what I did before OW had a chance & he was pretty freaked out. There is a lot that WH does not know, but thinks he knows....I know I've got him still squirming, but he and OW are in more of a Contact situation than they were before. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> This situation is so screwed up. I'm supposed to still be doing Plan A in a big way, right? Thanks, Kim DDay, May 14th DS, Age 5 Exposure? yes, but not finished......
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Kimberly -
By all means go on your trip. You could invite WH, but if he doesn't want to go, you and son go.
Please fill us in on the details of more contact. I take it that OW's husband didn't kill her. I guess we can be thankful for that.
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Nope, she's still alive. From what I understand, she locked herself in a bedroom all night....WH said he understood why I did what I did. BUT, now he feels even more responsible b/c he gave me her name. Oh, and now OWH has something he can use against her in court.
WH: "Did I tell you how he's beat her before?? Did I tell you how he has raped her(new one to me)??
I think he is beginning to hate this MB's site.
IF her story is true, I just have a hard time understanding why she is still there. I know I shouldn't waste my time trying to figure it out, but I went searching last night to read up on "Battered Women's Syndrome". It's interesting info.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Sheesh -
I'm surprised that her husband didn't kick the door down. That is usually do.
Have you spoken to him? I think you should. OW could be making all of this up, just to get YOUR husband.
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Kim, I am sure he does hate MB. Our advice is causing great trouble to his affair and he doesn't like that. He had you nicely manipulated just where he wanted you and we have messed that all up.
I have a hard time understanding why your H is screwing a married woman who is in an abusive relationship if he thinks she might get hurt for having an affair. Does that make sense? Does he think the husband might have a little problem with that and he could be the one endangering her?
And why is the OW not worried about getting in trouble? Apparently, she is more than willing to take the risk and is not concerned. So why should you be concerned if she is not?
Kim, the bottom line is that you are being manipulated. He must think you are dumber than a box of rocks to believe this crap. He is telling you lies to con you into shutting up and not exposing his affair so he can continue. Don't fall for it. It is all lies.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oh, and now OWH has something he can use against her in court. That's really good. Please also offer to testify in court for OMW if he needs your help. I would also suggest that you be honest with your H and tell him you will help this man. Have you been in further contact with the OWH? Does he know that your H is still contacting his W? I would continue the exposures, Kim, and expose to her workplace next. Do you know where she works? Does your H's family and your family all know about the affair? What other exposures could you do?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Believer: Exactly what's in my mind about OW making up what happened the other night. Supposedly, they are Divorcing and I think the real issue might be that there is evidence OWH can use against OW.
HOW DO YOU DO QUOTES??
ML: That was exactly one of the points I tried to make to WH last night(if her H is abusive then what the heck does she think she's doing getting involved with another man) She's the one that took that risk & it's her actions that are getting her in trouble. You are so right about WH being the one who is now also endangering OW. HELLO!!! What did you think would happend if you got caught?????
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Kim, you have in no way "endangered" the OW. That is nonsense. Don't let your H think for a second that you believe that. First off, she is not "endangered" and secondly, she must not be worried about it or she wouldn't be having affairs. Good grief, that isn't even good fogbabble.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Kim, the bottom line is that you are being manipulated. He must think you are dumber than a box of rocks to believe this crap. He is telling you lies to con you into shutting up and not exposing his affair so he can continue. Don't fall for it. It is all lies. YOU CANNOT SPEAK MORE TRUTH THAN THIS ABOVE STATEMENT...and yes, I am yelling this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Kim, at the risk of sounding like an uncaring man, I think you are being played the fool by your Wayward. While everything your Wayward is saying is textbook and not suprising....unfortunately, most if not all you are saying is also betrayed manipulated spouse speak and also textbook. You are acting the part of the manipulated wife, and unfortunatley doing an academy award job. NO words of advice for you, just a plea for you to be cautious. FOR the immediate time being I would believe NOTHING of what you hear from your husband and a fraction of what you see. Just my .02, take it or leave it for what you think fits your situation. Sour.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Holy crap, Dr Sour agreed with me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Holy crap, Dr Sour agreed with me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Let me please qualify that statement whereby I agreed with you. Right now, my eyes are burning from lack of sleep, my head is pounding from God knows what. I can't sleep...because frankly I am too damn tired.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />...so given all of these elements setting up the "perfect" storm, it is plausible that I could agree with you on something here...Now if I can catch 5 hours of sleep tonight, get a run in in the morning, and get a large coffee in me in the am, than all bets are off and I reserve the right to retract my agreement with you. Fair??? We wouldn't want to be agreeing to much here Mel, that would throw off the balance of this board and quite possibly cause a MB tsunami. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Sour................ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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**snort** that devil just qualified his dang "agreement!" Mental duress, indeed....... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hey Mel - I thought you were going to start a kinder and gentler you.
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Hey Mel - I thought you were going to start a kinder and gentler you. "Start???" I am a pussycat! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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