In the last several days I have had what I think now is an intense physical reaction to a trigger or A related stress. The first time my FWH told me he was going to grow a goatee. I very calmly told him that the goatee triggers me big time because each time he had a new OW he grew one. We had a very calm discussion about him feeling that I need to get adapted to the idea that facial hair does not equal A and my POV was you need to respect my feelings so early into this phase of our recovery. (he shaved btw) That night and the next day I became sick to my stomach, had to leave work and vomited. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Felt better in the next couple days.

Then, night before last we discussed calling the attorney to cancel the D. He wanted more information from the atty before we cancel. IE, will we get the unused portion of the deposit back, what paperwork needs to be filed etc. Kids were around and couldn't discuss fully right away, I immediately assumed money was more important than me. I went to make dinner and was so sick to my stomach that I barely got the meal into the oven and had to go lay down. I felt better about an hour later. When the kids were in bed we discussed further and I misunderstood, he just wants to understand the process.

So after this long explanation, am I crazy? Can it be that now after all we have been through that this is going to be my "normal" reaction to A related stress?

FF, I read PTSD can have those symptoms.

Might be worth checking with your doc.

My last really bad trigger was in March and I went cold and hot and my heart palpitated whils my mouth dried.

Thats just fight or flight though.

See the doc.

All blessings my friend. Be healthy for smiling little W. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, Bob. I was beginning to think I was crazy for feeling this way.

FF, you crazy alright, but not for this <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Faith,

You hang on. These triggers will not last forever and the important thing is to feel them and know them for what they are, then let them go.

Don't waste your energy and love worrying about future affairs, or renewed affairs or whatever. If you can help it.

"Act as if" all is what you envision it to be in your marriage and your world, and this will come to pass. We create our own reality, don't ever lose site of this.

Trust that Casey will do the right thing from here on out and know that if bad things happen again you can handle them. Because you can.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

{{{{FF}}}} i hope you are doing ok tonight. love to you.