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sunnyva39 #1430083 07/21/05 01:09 PM
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Well, I'll disagree with you about the childless not understanding...but ony a little bit. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think I have at least SOME understanding (though probably not completely.) I have a sister who is almost 10 years younger, plus an older brother. And I do remember very much both my brother beating on me, and him beating up others who were picking on me. He was allowed, others were not. I remember my sister being very sweet one second, and a little Tasmanian devil the next, and regardless of how I handled it, having my mom get on my case about it.

I was one of those strange kids who really didn't put my parents through much - but I remember well my sister and my mom being constantly at it. And I remember trying to explain to her that she was mom, therefore she wins, and that my sis should just shut her mouth, that she'd get in a lot less trouble. And still she never could.

And I can remember my mom being so firm with us about a lot of things - in particular, food. We ate what she made, and if we didn't we could go hungry. That worked fine with my brother and me... but the rules changed completely when my sister came around. Why? Because she could just refuse to eat for days or even weeks on end. She did exactly that any time she got sick. When you've got a child who is going from being sick because she caught something to being sick because she isn't eating, and who was chronically underweight, you feed her macaroni and cheese every single day for 3 months if that's what she'll eat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> My parents raised all three of us kids the same - so why did they have to handle my sis so much differently? Because we were different children.

I was telling a friend something about this stuff the other day. She was saying how she couldn't believe what some parents let their kids wear at church. I told her that I've seen it with both my sister when she was growing up and with my niece now (just turned 13.) You have to pick your battles. With some kids, it's easy. With some kids, all you would ever do is correct them and tell them no if you stand your ground on every little thing, and that isn't good for them either - makes them just ignore everything equally, and then you don't get the truly important things across to them. So with some kids, you're forced to pick your battles.

And with some kids, even that doesn't work!

Ok, sorry for the threadjack.... While I understand why parents say the childless can't possibly understand what a parent deals with, I think it's just like with kids - everyone is different!


osxgirl (A.K.A. Penguin!)
osxgirl #1430084 07/21/05 01:30 PM
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OSXgirl

You actually have a clue! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

RebornMan #1430085 07/21/05 07:17 PM
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I'm not really interested in women that don't have children unless there is a medical reason for it because that time will come when it becomes something they want and I am not having more babies. And if they DON't want children they certainly won't be the type of person I need or my kids need in their lives. I have 4 with me full-time and that is a challenge under ideal conditions.

Hmm. I don't have children. I don't have a medical reason for not having children. By your words, you would not consider dating me. Granted, I'm a little bit older than the women you might consider dating, as I'm 45 years old, but lets pretend that I'm only 41 like when my ex moved away with the slug and I finally gave up thinking I might stay married...

By virtue of the fact that I was 30 when I got married and my ex changed his mind about wanting children during our marriage, my child-bearing years were pretty well used up by the time I was divorced. So, no children isn't a choice I made, but it isn't because of a medical reason either.

I do think that there are often more complex reasons why a 40ish divorced person may be childless. At 42, I considered whether or not I would want to try to have a child if I met someone who wanted to. I think, at 45 years old, if I did, its likely not a great idea - not for me and not for a child.

So, I am a childless divorcee who is childless not for medical reasons and childless not by choice, until I became a bit too "old" to bear children. Where would that put me in your "to date" or "not to date" piles? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

No offense taken or meant, I just wanted to add another dimension.

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terri Courage Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage. Ralph Waldo Emerson
terri #1430086 07/22/05 09:09 AM
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Howdy!
First, I don't mind the threadjacking. Feel free, as long as we play nice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I don't have kids, for various reasons. My ex-H and I waited to establish our careers and get some financial things in order, then we had trouble getting pregnant, then he had cancer, then he had an A and we divorced. So there I was 33 and divorced. And now I'm 35.

I won't get into all the kid / non-kid issues right now. I have some opinions/experience, since I just ended a relationship with a man with 2 teenagers...

Anyway....

I sent the "no thank you" e-mail to Mr. Past. No response. *sigh* I wish he would have said "I understand. Good luck.". Oh well.

Can you believe ANOTHER "Mr. Past" contacted me yesterday? hehe. Boy, I left a good impression with these men! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Anyway, he did NOT leave a good impression with me, and I was not as concerned with hurting his feelings. But anyway, I sent him a similar message as the other one. He immediately replied with "You have a nice life too!" Oh well.

THings are progressing nicely with my prospects. 2 conversations going, and 2 new great prospects just popped up yesterday.

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