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Joined: Nov 2004
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Hey Girl

Drugs was a huge issue during my divorce from ex. I talked to attorney about it and she said that if I had proof I could maybe call child protective services. I didn't have proof. She then said that if I had a bunch of money I could try to convince a judge of my concerns and get an order from him. Didn't have the money either and that was certainly no guarentee there with a judge.

So I convinced my then stbxh to agree to random testing that I would pay for if he came up clean and he would pay for if it came up dirty. I made the arguement that if he was really in recovery it wouldn't be a big deal to pee into a cup now and then. He didn't like it but since he and ow met in NA and they had stopped attending, I convinced him I had a good chance in court in front of a judge.

Tiggy


Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.

The Velveteen Rabbit on becoming Real
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I have NO idea what type of drugs... not my area of expertise!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I do know in the past he smoked pot and snorted coke. That is about all I am aware of... I think he "tried" acid once but did not like it.

How's he look? I dunno... ok I guess... I have had a hard time looking at the man lately! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I have zero proof, and this is purely specualtion at this point... No point in asking him cause he will never tell the truth! I do know the one friend he sees more these days smokes pot on a daily basis... and WH admitted he did it once recently while fishing so I do not think it is such a stretch.

This would also explain how he could go from being a VERY involved Daddy to an occaisional father... right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


BW, 33 WH 36 Md 14.5 yrs DD13, DS11, DD4 Tired of counting d-days, D proceeding 7/05 "Pride can break a man right down from iron. Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul Handprint of God on the small of my back my second chance, my second chance. I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee... Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault. Say I believe, I believe lay it down. This the hour of my healing, of my healing, yeah my heart, my heart redeemed."
Joined: Jun 2005
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"This would also explain how he could go from being a VERY involved Daddy to an occaisional father... right?"

YUP!!!!!!!!!!!!


BS 46 (me)
WH 51
M-20yrs
DS19, DS16, DS14
D-Day - April '02



Joined: Jun 2005
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And...

The mood swings

The empty pocket

The "Chicks dig me!" attitude

Lying about anything and everything.

The much younger friends

Give me a minute. I've got more.


BS 46 (me)
WH 51
M-20yrs
DS19, DS16, DS14
D-Day - April '02



Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,612
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I think I was being too vague in my above point, which was--ask your attorney what can or can't be done.

The only reason I was successfull in getting him to put the random checks in our divorce agreement was because he believed I could get a judge to order, which I may have if I had the time and money.

At that point in our divorce we had both wracked up a few thousand dollars on the attorneys and that was another appealing point I got across to him---that the act of me taking him to court would cost not just me money but him too.

And if you can just let the state or district attorney or whoever handles child support enforcement get the the child support he owes you. Here, in my state they automatically garnish, even if the parent is cooperative, that's just how they do it. And they will remove licenses of all kinds to get a non-paying parent to pay--even their driver's license.!!! I think most states have gotten more strict in getting parents to step up and pay for their children's support.

A story here that still cracks me up---this guy got a lottery ticket and won 20k but he owed back child support, so he asked a buddy to cash it in for him and they would split it. Well, the buddy cashed it in but he ALSO owed back child support so every dime of it went to his ex-wife. LOL

I know it's hard but try to stop talking to him and let your attorney handle it.


Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.

The Velveteen Rabbit on becoming Real
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I am trying.... the atty needs more money if it gets messy...

He is moving into the doublewide and I even let DD4 go there tonight. DS was already going and she wnated to also. This is a first for me... it was hard letting babygirl go there, but it is just one night... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


BW, 33 WH 36 Md 14.5 yrs DD13, DS11, DD4 Tired of counting d-days, D proceeding 7/05 "Pride can break a man right down from iron. Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul Handprint of God on the small of my back my second chance, my second chance. I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee... Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault. Say I believe, I believe lay it down. This the hour of my healing, of my healing, yeah my heart, my heart redeemed."
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