Well, the day started out good. I had planned to go to a Mexican festival at the University. On the way home from church, I passed an estate sale in the mobile home park where I live. I parked in front (where there were 3 other cars parked), with my warning lights flashing.

My car got towed away - in about 4 minutes. So I went with my sons to go pick it up. Turns out I can't pick it up (and pay $350) because the car is registered in my WH's name. I have driven the car for 10 years, but everything we have is in WH's name.

When I explained that we are getting a divorce, and the car is mine, and always has been, the tow-truck company asked for my court papers. I don't have them because my WH is hiding to avoid being served. I have been to his secret love nest to serve him, but no one comes to the door. Now the papers are with the Sheriff's department, and they can't catch him at home either.

So I called my WH and left a message. He probably won't call back. So tomorrow I have to take the bus to work, and just wait until I hear from WH.

That is the end of my rant. But my question is - Since my WH and OW have been living together, and I am out of the picture, why can't he just sign the papers and get the divorce?

Because he got his PhD in conflict avoiding !

OMG!!! As if it wasn't bad enough the crap you're going through now you lose your car too.

Very sorry for such a bad day, I know how those feel very well.

Would he open his door to one of the adult kids?

believer....I am SO sorry this has happened to you! It's so frustrating to here something like this. I will pray that your WH will sign the DV papers and let you be free so you can move on with your life. Why are they so selfish????
Hang in there!!!

Yeah Pep, I could get one of his kids or mine to serve him. In fact my sons went to his son's birthday barbecue last weekend. I just feel that they shouldn't be involved.

I talked to my mom today, and bless her heart, she just thinks that WH is torn. But the truth is, now that he has spent most of our money, he is looking for more. He knows that if it goes to court, he will come out the loser. Right now half of anything is a bonus for me.

WH is consumed with having money. He was never like that before. He tells me that OW isn't interested in money at all. I mentioned that for someone not interested in money, she sure helped him spend it.

I think the bottom line is that he does know that she is interested in money. When he moved out, he moved into a very fancy home - a couple of million dollars - as a roommate. I think it was to impress her.

Anyway, just crying in my beer. I know things will turn out okay, but I am just tired. I wish I could snap my fingers and be divorced.

Want me to beat the snot outta him and OW for ya?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> hmmmmmmmm

believer-

So sorry that happened to you today. I wonder if the ho bag, oh, I mean OW knows you've been trying to serve him. You would think she would be pushing a quick divorce so she can be with her soul mate. Puke.

Can your lawyer get you papers explaining the situation? I hope so. Thinking of you..

Yeah Pep - beating them up would feel great, but then again, OW has a 13 year old daughter. So I probably couldn't condone that.

I'm just down today for the first time in a long time. It doesn't help that my mom and dad are very sick. He has prostate cancer that has spread to the bone, and she has Multiple Myeloma.

Whenever I talk to them, they are very charitable towards WH. He could care less about them, and hasn't even asked for a year.

Believer,

I am so sorry you are having all of these problems. I will say prayers for you. I'm leaving for church shortly.

Take care,
Sassygal

I talk big ... but it's only a fantasy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> ... it would feel terrible actually

Deeply sorry about your parents.... that is a hurt beyond decription...

I'm so sorry Believer! It just seems like one of those days, huh!

I cant answer your question, but I assume it is a control issue...just as with my H...this is one thing your WH has control over and if he is served, he is out of control. I bet if HE served YOU, it would suit him better...but do not let him serve you! I hear in CA it is in the W best interest to SERVE rather than that latter!

hang in there! your doing good!

Thanks everyone - all of this is just creeping up on me. The car thing today brought it to a head.

Also I am hurt that WH has never been there to support me while my parents are ill. They got sick after D-day. WH and I took care of his dying mom for 2 years.

well believer,

it is what it is. I know you took care of ws parent. What WS is about is not right.

However, you do have an out. When all of this starts affecting you, maybe it is a sign from the Lord that you need to do something. Maybe He is trying to tell you that you need to set some boundaries. And you are allowed divorce, considering the circumstances.

I know you have fought the good fight, but now might be the time for you to rethink your priorities. You cannot be without transportation, especially with your folks in the bad health they are in. I know about this, my mom has terminal cancer right now. It could be all about them, and sooner than you think. So <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> you need to make the right choices about now.

You have to accept the situation. WS has not been there for a long time. I am not saying this is right or good. It just is. My VHO is that you move on. You might be surprised what happens. Time to think about you, hon. I know. I think about every one but me. It is time for YOU . And, you, of all people are WORTHY .

Please, believer, do what is the healthiest for you and your family, God wants what is good for you. And that doesn't mean for you to go without a car. Protect yourself believer. You are sweeter than sweet, time to get tough, LOVE that is. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

So sorry, believer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

See, this would never happen in Texas. Down here they can't impound horses. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

believer,

if you cannot serve him, then put up the money, not much in the long run, and post it in the paper.

Then, you will have a car.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

So sorry to hear this has happened to you believer.. I wasn't familiar with your story and thought that you had already official D'd the WH.

{{ hugs }}

~A

Well, still waiting for my WH to call about the car. It is sitting in the towing yard racking up more money $50.00 a day.

I called the office again today, and they will not release it to me as I am not on the registration, and don't have court papers.

I am kicking myself now because I should have started protecting myself financially 2 years ago, instead of relying on him to do the right thing.

Hey Believer,

Sorry to hear that this has happened, but please don't kick yourself....you have done so much right to help yourself and have come so far and helped to bring others with you....this is a setback and it will get back on track.... hope your week goes better......

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Believer}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Feeling sad for you...:(

Beliver:

Sorry this happened. Take some control and once and for all FIX this situation. No vicim playing for you here. You are stronger than all of this.

SOur....