Hey, all. We are going to our first marriage counseling session tomorrow, and I am scared to death. I don't think there has been any infidelity in our marriage (but some of the things hubby has done make me wonder). I'm just afraid that this is going to turn into a Peachy-bashing session. Also, I am a born-again Christian, hubby is not, and I'm not sure about the counselor. Can ANYONE give me any re-assurance here? Thanks.

Something to keep in mind is that your 1st session should be more focused on goal-setting and learning about everyone in the room - including the counselor! Be sure to ask if he/she is a pro-M counselor. Find out about his/her philosophies, beliefs, approach, credentials, etc. What are his/her specialties (i.e. substance abuse, extramarital affairs, sexual abuse, addictions, etc.) Keep in mind that the MC is there for you, not the other way around.

My advice is write down the goals that you want to achieve from the MC and ask how he/she intends on helping you & your H meet those goals. Make sure you're BOTH comfortable with the MC before proceeding w/ future visits.

So, don't fret about tomorrow. If the worst thing that can happen is that you do learn about the gaps and barriers in your M, that alone is worth its weight in gold! At least you'll know what you're up against, right? Always remember that you can change MC's if you don't like this one. Again, he/she is there on YOUR dime!

Thank you, Whisper. I feel a lot better about it, now! I'm off to get ready to go. I have to drop the kids off at my parents', then pick hubby up at work, and we're off! Your advice is much appreciated!

Well, how did it go?

It went great, thanks! We actually did a LOT of talking, about past issues, etc. We have a plan, and some homework to do before we meet again in a month.

Thanks for your calming words, they helped a lot - I wasn't so nervous. The counselor even got misty-eyed at some of the things we discussed, and told us that there are some situations that call for divorce, but in 99% of her cases, she tries to help save the marriage, and definitely thinks ours is worth saving (We already knew that - we just need to resolve some issues).

Thanks again for your help!! :-)

So glad to hear! Good luck with everything!