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D-day was 2.5 weeks ago. WW says affair end 3 months ago. WW has gone back and forth between wanting to work on the M and not. WW left home (said she had to make a quick trip out of state for work and then was going to stay with her parents) and told me needed some time to find herself, think, etc. I realize this is a huge red flag that the A continues and I am making every effort to determine the truth.
In the interim, while she is away, WW says she wants to have quick check ins every day to make sure I'm okay and wants to schedule weekly times to talk about our M and see how things are going. Now that she's gone, and while I have no conclusive proof that the A continues, do I go to plan B and not agree to the check in's, etc or do I continue with plan A on a long distance basis? (is that even possible)
Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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I'm afraid the A is continuing. I would check with her work, and see if she did take a trip, and with who. This is just too much coincidence.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 372
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sounds like some cake eating going on here. Wants to continue to explore the other relationship while keeping you somewhat on the hook while she decides. Sorry, but thats my take on it.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 4,712
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You must do Plan A. You must find out about the A, and finish exposing to OM's family, wife if he has one, work, etc. Then you must do the rest of Plan A for awhile.
You cannot do a good Plan B without Plan A.
In His Arms.
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Aprreciate the advice - the trip was by herself and she did make the trip. I agree that there is a very large probability that the A continues. Let me ask the question a different way. Say I find proof that the A continues, with us being separated, I assume I go to plan B. Until I find that proof, (if any) do I continue with Plan A with us being separated, or just cut to it and go to plan B based on my suspicions.
Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320
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Posts: 1,320 |
Texas - thanks, I tend to agree with you. Feels like I'm in a talent show right now.
MM - okay, got it.
Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
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Plan A is ALL about contact with OP and WS,,,plan b follows a good plan A.....
plan A is to END contact with the OP....
plan B is not entered in a tit for tat knee jerk response to something a WS does
ark
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,320
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ark - I appreciate the advice. I guess my question was can you do plan A if the WW will not live at home with me. Can it still be effective. I read SAA, and still was confused, since that example went to plan B PDQ.
Me 43 BH
MT 43 WW
Married 20 years, No Kids, 2 Difficult Cats
D-day July, 2005
4.5 False Recoveries
Me - recovered
The M - recovered
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Plan A according to Mortarman, who is very good at this.
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