I just got off the phone with her Dad.
It's over.

Cruz,

As you already know, it is only over if you want it to be over.

This is your story Cruz, your play, your stage. What is it that YOU want?

We are all the writers of our own script, once we realize this, the world is our oyster.

You hold the reigns here.

Where is it you want to go?

Home.

Home? What do you mean?

Good on you! It sounds like you are making positive progress...

Being that I am a few weeks ahead, I'll warn you of some of the things that tripped me up...

- Being alone sucks for the first few weeks, but once you get into your new home routine w/o WW, it gets a lot better.

- Unless your WW comes to you with DEFINITIVE ACTION to reconcile that required REAL SACRIFICE on her part, don't waste your time...words mean NOTHING to people like our STBXW's.

- It sounds like your financials should be working out OK...changing to one income requires some "adjustment", but once the change has "taken", it is easier...

- Will maintaining NC be an easy thing? The more you can avoid STBXW, the more time you have to extricate her from your heart and you'll soon feel nothing for her.
-- My STBXW came by Monday night for the last of her things and she isn't attractive to me AT ALL anymore. I was polite, but she knew that my being in her presence was an undesirable place for me.

- Think of your D...she is the MOST important person at this point...the more you can focus on her, the less you'll focus on your issues.

Keep us updated...

Keep on keepin' on! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Scott

I'll ask the pointed question...please don't be offended..

Are you having any thoughts of hurting yourself or others? That answer of "Home" struck me a "different"...perhaps I missed a part of the message that an Internet forum cannot convey? I have been know to be wrong once in a while! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Let us know...you have suffered enough without adding that turd into your messkit.

Praying for you (as much as an agnostic can! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />)

Scott

Weaver,

You asked "Where is it you want to go?" and the first thing that popped in my mind was home.
Not home in the sense of a place, but home in the sense of my life. I so want my innocence back. I ventured out into the world and found out it is a hard place. I didn't know what a wonderful life I had until I walked away from it.

I have been in unrelenting pain since February 26th 1996. That was the day that I made the choice to ask my future WW out to lunch and started this destructive process. Home is me just before I picked up that phone, dialed her extension and said "Do you have any plans for lunch today?"

I don't know if that makes any sense, but right now not much does.

Cruz

Glad to hear you are doing as well as can be expected...the withdrawals from STBXW will be tough, so minimizing contact to NECESSARY and BRIEF times helps with the detachment process.

It's almost scary...our coincidences.

My STBXW and I had been "flirting" since the summer of '95 and we both went TDY and "consummated" our cheating relationship at the end of March 1996.

Isn't that strange how are "start" and "stop" dates are so close together?

Scott

Scott,

On a forum where so many people have common experiences, ours stand out as exceptionally similar.

Bump for Cruz...

Hope all is going as well as can be expected... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Scott

Yes. I know of this home which you speak.

Go home Cruz. It is where you belong.

Are you sober?

Don't stop posting. Talk to us. We care about you. I care about you.

You know Cruz, it is good to feel the pain. It is through the pain that we heal, but there also comes a time when you must let the pain go, and seek the joy, the innocense once again.

It is there still... the innocense, and the hope, the faith and the joy.

It's there.

If I could I would take your pain, because I know that you have had too much. My shoulders are once again strong. I can handle it.

I am glad that you have let her go. But I know that now comes the part that you can reject., or grab onto. The part where you find yourself again, where you know that you have atoned, and that you deserve to be happy once again.

This is the part that worries me about you.

You deserve to be happy Cruz, because you are a child of God. And He loves you. He knows your heart.

Hang on guy.