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I was thinking of making my WW a mix CD of songs that relate to our situation. She is a music lover and might respond to something like this. BUT, I need some suggestions on good songs. -------------------------------------------- If you're unfamiliar with my situation, here is a synopsis:
Married 5 yrs w 2yr. old daughter. Wife cheated. I discovered it. Later she moved out w daughter She has filed for divorce Her OM broke up with her --------------------------------------------- Here are the first two songs I'm thinking might be good: --------------------------------------------- Over And Over by: NELLY (w Tim McGraw) LYRICS:
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can't keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause it's all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it Nooo
I can't wait to see you Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes And it's a shame that we got to spend our time Being mad about the same things Over and over again About the same things Over and over again Ohh But I think she's leaving Ooh man she's leaving I don't know what else to do (I can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can't keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again yeah And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it Nooo
I remember the day you left I remember the last breath you took right in front of me When you said that u would leave I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything But I see clearly now And this choice I made keep playing in my head Over and over again Playing my head Over and over again Ohh I think she's leaving Ooh man she's leaving I don't know what else to do (I can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can't keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can't take it I can't shake it Nooo
(Now that I've realizes that I'm going down From all this pain you've put me through Everytime I close my eyes I lock it down I can't go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can't keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can't take it I can't shake it Nooo
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can't keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can't take it I can't shake it Nooo
Over and Over again Over and Over again Cause it's all in my head
----------------------------------------------- BARENAKED LADIES LYRICS (This one is not entirely appropriate, but it's a good song)
"The Old Apartment"
Broke into the old apartment This is where we used to live Broken glass, broke and hungry Broken hearts and broken bones This is where we used to live
Why did you paint the walls? Why did you clean the floor? Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door? This is where we used to live
Why did you keep the mousetrap? Why did you keep the dishrack? these things used to be mine I guess they still are, I want them back
Broke into the old apartment Forty-two stairs from the street Crooked landing, crooked landlord Narrow laneway filled with crooks This is where we used to live
Why did they pave the lawn? why did they change the locks? Why did I have to break it, I only came here to talk This is where we used to live
How is the neighbour downstairs? How is her temper this year? I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun I know we don't live here anymore We bought an old house on the Danforth She loves me and her body keeps me warm I'm happy here But this is where we used to live
Broke into the old apartment Tore the phone out of the wall Only memories, fading memories Blending into dull tableaux
I want them back ------------------------------------- SUGGESTIONS?
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Find The Real by Alter Bridge
Stuck in the middle I burrow inside Back to the cradle Away from the burdens of all my crimes Before it’s fatal My past has found me the truth’s come out All is remembered With no place to fall but straight down I must surrender
Well it seems I’ve Finally thought of everything I wanna love I wanna feel Find peace Find the real
There’s a face I put on all my life The face of an angel But I look in the mirror only to find The face of a stranger And with all I’ve taken I hunger for more Cause I’m selfish And all I’m left with is a crown of thorns And I’m helpless
Well it seems I’ve Finally thought of everything I wanna love I wanna feel Find peace Find the real
I’ll trade these lies for something right I’ll kill what hurts with something pure I will be redeemed so I can breathe again
Well it seems I’ve Finally thought of everything I wanna love I wanna feel Find peace Find the real Well it seems I’ve Finally thought of everything I wanna love I wanna feel Find peace Find the real
43yr old FWH who has rediscovered morality
Divorced: 03 February 2006
XW: My threads say it all
"Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life..."
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Thanks WHnowBS
Everyone doesn't need to post lyrics. I'm just looking for good ideas...
D-Day 6-13-05
Plan B began 9-29-05
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I did that too.
I would suggest not to - it seemed manipulative to her.
Just my opinion, YMMV.
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Jann Arden...
Willing to Fall Down
BW (Me) 32
WH 43
D-Day 5/25
DS-9
DS-3
In recovery with the help of God and many Angels.
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I did that too.
I would suggest not to - it seemed manipulative to her. I agree, could be a well thought out Love Buster......
Hugz, Thoughtz, & Prayerz
Bill
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Wouldn't that just depend on what you put on it?
If you put more positive songs vs songs accusing her of cheating or whatever?
Maybe my first suggestions are too confrontational...
D-Day 6-13-05
Plan B began 9-29-05
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Little did I know it but when I gave my then W her CD she had just returned from signing all of the paperwork at her attorneys. All that needed to be done was serve me my crap sandwich...(her divorce papers)
I would suggest that you do not create such a CD and give it to her. If everything works out here Gramn many, if not all of those songs will become triggers....which will hinder recovery. Trust me you're dying to get to that point (recovering)... My XW tells me that there are certain songs that really troubled her (like One- by U2).
However, that is not to say it is not a good excercise. I am certain that I listened to my copy of the CD more than she did. In fact I know exactly where mine is.
There are songs that will always bring you back to your darkest hours...one for me is "My Immortal" by Evanescence...
Apparently for her is "Over and over" because when that song came out we had just gotten back together...and I broke off a serious relationship with someone else...When I see the video...I almost die...BIG TRIGGERS..private jet, hangers, airports....which is where her rich old man boyfriend used to have her meet him....
Anyway Gramn...good luck...
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Okay then, Gramn, for YOUR CD (and hers, one day). . . to give you momentum and power to continue your Plan A as needed, and to continue to "stack sandbags against the river of her troubles":
COME ON HOME
by The Indigo Girls
Dark clouds are comin' in like an army Soon the sky will open up and disarm me And you will go, just like you've gone before One sad soldier off to war Enemies that only you can see
Dishes stacked, the table cleared It's always like the scene of the Last Supper here You speak so cryptically, but that's not news to me The flood is here, it will carry you And I've got work to do
Come on home The team you're hitched to has a mind of its own It's just the forces of your past you've fought before Come back here and shut the door I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles
There is fire, and there is lust Some would trade it all for someone they could trust There's a bag of silver for a box of nails It's so simple the betrayal Though it's known to change the world and what's to come
Come on home The team you're hitched to has a mind of its own It's just the forces of your past you've fought before Don't you recognise them any more I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles
There's the given and the expected I count my blessings while I eye what I've neglected Is this for better, is this for worse You're all jammed up and the dam's about to burst
I hear the owl in the night I realise that some things never are made right But by some will we string together here Days to months and months to years What if everything we have adds up to nothing?
Come on home The team you're hitched to has a mind of its own It's just the forces of your past you've fought before Come back here and shut the door I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles
[font:Arial Black] JUMP! -- and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall. - ray bradbury
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SLH:
Ah, the Purple Chicks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Gramn: While it's useful for you 2 post song lyrics and get feedback about them here, I think cutting her a disk of R songs would be like Rogers and Hammerstein making a musical version of the movie "Unfaithful."
It's educating her, and you know it won't work.
-ol' 2long
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Gramn-
I actually think that a mix CD would be a good idea, I would put other kinds of songs on there though....no *cheating* songs, although I understand the reason....I listened to all those, and it seemed like they described the situation perfectly.
I would concentrate on songs like, *your song* if you have one, songs that are saying you love her...stuff like that.
I made my husband a CD like this, and I think that it sort of got my feelings across a lot better than simply telling him. I know that it may work even better with a woman, I know I pay great attention to lyrics.
So choose your songs wisely....I think the 2 you picked are a little accusatory, I would go with different choices.
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39 WH-37 Together 15 years Married 12 years 7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16. Mine: DD22, DD15 Ours: DD12 Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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How many CDs have you made her in the past?
Prayers & God Bless! Chris
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I'm not that good at makig CDs. That was why I was here loooking for Ideas...
It would be good to pick songs taht evoke memories from our past, but she probably has most of those locked up in her apartment.
D-Day 6-13-05
Plan B began 9-29-05
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Gramn-
Doesn't matter if they're locked up in her apartment or not Gramn......it's songs that YOU are choosing for her to listen to.
That's the track that you want to be on.......memory evoking songs!!!
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39 WH-37 Together 15 years Married 12 years 7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16. Mine: DD22, DD15 Ours: DD12 Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Hmmm. make her a CD that will make her feel like crap. Nope. Doesn't sound like a good idea to me. More of a gesture.
Buy her a love songs CD instead and attach a card saying " I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. Help me do that".
MB Alumni
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If you haven't done it in the past, I don't think it's a good idea to do it at this time.
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