well, as you all know myself and ow's stbxh have gotten to be good friends. (we were friends before but now better just trying to help eachother get through this mess) anyway, he is someone who reacts emotionally. Has a hard time holding back as this whole sitch has him so hurt and angry. I try to tell him not to just "react", sometimes it works, sometimes not. well, he is a town cop so he knows a lot of what goes on here. and unfortunately still has contact with ow even though I don't necessarily think it is healthy that he does (his stbxw) well, the other night my h had the kids. he told ow he had them and when he has them he won't let her call him. (otherwise she calls him EVERY HOUR BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T TRUST HIM SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE HE IS AT ALL TIMES) gee, wonder why.... well, h didn't have kids that night but he didn't tell ow that. she thought he did. she works overnight shift. kids stayed out at friends camp, h came back into town to stay at house where he stays. well, stbxh drove by where h stays doing his patrols and as of 4am his car still wasn't there. well, he could not help but call ow and tell her that h DID NOT have the kids and wasn't home all night. so he had a free night knowing there would be no calls from her every freakin hour. well, she got nuts. she told her stbxh that she knows my h will probably cheat on her but she prays not. (hmmmm... a cheater praying that a cheater doesn't cheat on her... does God actually listen to THOSE prayers??? LOL) she's starts sweatin it big time. (tee hee hee) so she calls h around 6 and starts questioning him, where was he, why was his car not there, etc. she says her stbx was no patrol last night and saw his car nowhere. Then h gets mad and says well I wish your h would talk to me before he runs to you with things, my car was parked out back of the house so I could wash it today. (could be true, but he is a darn good on the spot liar)

Now, this can go either way. I told her h he shouldn't have done that, calling her. That anything he says they will just twist and use against him i.e. my h saying to ow that her h is just jealous and trying to cause problems, etc... same scenerio I have shared with my h for years. he is good at lying on the spot and taking the focus off of him. she should have every reason to be concerned he is lying.

But, on other hand, more seeds of doubt have been planted in ow's mind. bottom line is she knows he cannot be trusted. and when she hears this stuff it makes it worse, causes her to question my h, and makes her more and more paranoid.
to my h I am sure it is a game. he likes to be in control and he will just end up making her into a ball of emotional mush which is not attractive at all and she is NOT the most mentally stable cookie in the bunch all ready. see, we have been together 10 years and he loved me and cheated with her one of them, she knows darn well what makes her so special he won't do it to her.

plus, I would think the constant calling and knowing every move my h makes is going to be questioned is gonna get old quick. hmmm..... I have been praying that he will see her for what she is and that there will be things happening that will make her less an attractive fantasy.... I hope these sitch's are just the beginning of the end.... I keep praying. mlhb

bump...... do u think there is a wedge starting or at least some seeds.... mlhb

Oh yeah, seeds of doubt have definitely been planted!!!

And this time it can't be YOUR fault.

You need to start showing him the nice and sweet side of you now........PLAN A, PLAN A, PLAN A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Caren

Oh Caren, I wish I had your optimism! I called the military on him yesterday, they will be calling me back in about 3 weeks if to proceed and get info on the affair, and see if I wish to continue on with the complaint. H will get in big trouble with the military for this if I proceed and at that point I can probably kiss any hopes of my marriage goodbye..... still scared and praying daily, mlhb