Hi Holiday,

Thanks for your kind thoughts. I have been really busy.. constantly on the phone it seems. Plus I have come down with just a wicked head cold. I look like someone you would want to keep 20 paces back from and I sound like Elmer Fudd...

I have things pretty much organized for Dad's service and wake. A good variety of beer, music (bagpipes), all the right final touches to a life well lived. The dog has a special dispensation to attend the memorial service.

My brother flies in tonight - so it should be a sad but fun gathering of the clan and friends.

I hope things are well with you. All that tile... impressive... I will be asking for tips... because I want to redo our foyer ...

Cheers,

Paradise.

Hi Dukhuntr,Familycomesfirst,Eibrab,

Thank you for your condolensces.... very sweet... very much appreciated.

Cheers,

Paradise and Blue

Journal,

Wow what a week. I'm sitting here running through a box kleenex - a snuffling red nosed coughing virus farm.

I am just cleaning up after a setting out a quick buffet of chinese food for my husband and one of our employees. He had come by to drop off a couple pieces of furniture that were at my Dad's room in the nursing home. Would I mind if he kept my Dad's desk? It would look good in his new foyer? duh! Could he come over Saturday morning and organize some of more of the things he needs to set up housekeeping in his new place? My Dad's funeral is in the early afternoon that day. duh!

His entire family has called and confirmed that they will be there. Although my husband has been kind in the last couple of days... sitting with Mom the day my Dad died ... calling family.. picking up a couple of Dad's things. He is clearly not keen on being at the funeral. "My favourite suit isn't clean. Some of its here and some of its at home. I won't have time to deal with it. What time again is the funeral?"

It must be hard to know you have to face all of your family, your estranged wife's family, all of your old friends not having behaved in a manner everyone expects of you.


Things are looking up... my brother just walked in the door.

Paradise_blue

Your grace and class inspire me. Stay strong this weekend, those of us here are pulling for you.

I do wonder, however, if the dog appreciates the bagpipes?

*smile*

Blessings,

Eibrab

Hey paradise,

I can see the clarity returning to your posts so I know you are doing well. You will get thru this with or without H's help and or support. Sounds like this has shaken him up too. Who knows and right now who cares, take care of your family and yourself during all of this and let him fend for himself. Might even do him some good to reflect on what he may be leaving behind.

Right now he is seeing what family really means. Your brother and the rest of the family are there for you and your mother and to pay their respects to your father. Who will be there for him if something were to happen now? This will be a big eye opener for him I think.

Be the gracious and caring person you have always been and enjoy being with your family. From what you have said of your Dad he would want you to celebrate his life not mourn it.

My thoughts are still with you and your family.

PB...I hope you will start to feel better soon. Head colds make it hard on a person, but perhaps it's God's way for you to kind of daze through these next few days.
I would kindly ask your H to wait until next week or so to come over and do "anything" with any of the things in your home. He's hitting you with too much right now and it's not fair.
How is your Mother doing?
Bagpipes...I love the bagpipes. What a beautiful way to celebrate your Dad.
You are in my thoughts.
Peace,
holiday

Hi Eibrab,

LOL, I can just see my dog start to yowl.. the moment the piper launches into Amazing Grace. Should be an interesting service.

Thanks for the smile.

Cheers,

PB

Hi Holiday,

Mom is well. She is a resilient woman full of strength.
The drugs are taking effect. I look marginally less like Rudolph this morning.

His funeral really will be a celebration. No one is wearing black. It is much easier dealing with death when you know the person was ready to move on. He lived a long and very happy productive life. You couldn't really ask for more.

How is your shoulder? Shoulder injuries take a very long time to heal. It is the least structured joint in the body. Have you been to a physiotherapist for it yet?

Stay well...

Cheers,

PB

Hi Dukhuntr,

Thank you. Maybe on Saturday you could lift a glass of that single malt to a kind old newspaperman... north of the border. I hope you have a great weekend. What are your plans?

Cheers,

PB

Paradise,

I will gladly lift a glass to the man that was the inspiration and role model that made you the person you are today. I will also lift one to you and your future, I know it will be a happy and fulfilling one.

I am taking a break from hunting this weekend and am just going to poke around the house and go to the UNR football game with my lifelong friends. We are planning a tailgate feast and a day of fun just to relax and enjoy the company of old friends. We were all in the same fraternity at UNR and it will be like the "old days". We will be raising our glass not just to you and your father but to another old friend that lost his battle with cancer last week also. Luckily I can walk home from the stadium if necessary, there will be plenty of "lifting" going on.

The dog will be depressed for the whole weekend but I will make it up to her next week.

Thank you for asking PB...working with my chiropractor and muscle therapist.
Darn thing is taking it's sweet time to heal. Lucky it doesn't stop me from tile laying only from lifting to the side or over my head.
I too will raise a glass to your Father on Saturday (if couse with my right arm!).

Sorry dh to hear of your good friend. I hope they weren't going through too much suffering.

I wish you both a nice Friday...and good weather on Saturday PB for the day.

holiday

dh...be careful on how much "lifting" you do at the tailgate party!

Okay everyone I need your input. An old friend of mine just called and made me an offer I am struggling with. He is going to Mexico tomorrow on a pheasant hunt for 5 days. Someone in his group bailed at the last minute and is not going. He offered to take me instead, and sponsor my trip to boot. I could not afford this on my own right now and don't feel right about accepting. What do you guys think?

I would love to do this but at the same time I am in the middle of billings for our company on our jobs. Half way thru 30 million in billings. Our CFO has been doing these in the past and could finish these for me so I have a dilemma. Do I go and swallow some pride and risk some bad feelings at work or miss a golden opportunity? Lets hear it from you guys. What would you do?

Hi Dukhuntr,

Twenty years from now you will remember the trip... you won't remember the billings. Absolutely go for it...
Have a great time!

Cheers,

PB

I agree with PB...
Why are you questioning your friend's great offer? Go Man Go!!

Hey guys,

Thanks for the input but I got shot down here at work. I am the controller here and we just had a management audit done a couple of months ago. Well when I asked to go they told me I am running meetings all next week on system changes and staff reorganization. I CANT GO!

AHHHHHHHHH SH**!!!!!!!!!!

The lifting will commence right after work today and continue all weekend now! I think the first few will be Tequila in honor of my sacrifice for the good of the company. And to kill the pain! 2005 is now officially the sh**tyiest year in the history of life as I know it. If bad things come in threes this should do it for me. Marriage, friend with cancer and now this. I hope this ends soon!

Journal,

well it looks like we all need to rant tonight.

Took the dog out for a walk before his big bath up for the ceremony tomorrow and ran into the OW. Just kind of ruins the mood in my day or evening when ever I have to actually look at her. She always gives me these big smirky smiles. Now I look straight through her.. but steam up inside big time. Very unbuddist of me as my brother puts it....

Otherwise a very pleasant night...wrote Dad's eulogy. Lisened to his favourite music - Roy Rogers - what a hoot and we had coke floats - a big favourite in our household and Dad's remedy for all our chldhood hurts. The drugs are kicking in I sound normal and I am starting to feel better.

dukhuntr..

Could I ease your pain by speaking some spanish to you ?

I shall go look up duck, aim and fire...

I tend to be rather fluent for ordering food, and giving farm hands orders.. but your's will require some study.

I'm on it, if need be.

:-)

Eibrab

Paradise-blue

Thinking of you today.

Sending you strength.

Eibrab

Journal,

Dad's funeral was lovely. We sang Home on the Range... his favourite song in his last months. One of the few songs, he could remember the words to. Our finale was Happy Trails. People arrived to the chapel to the sounds of Roy Rogers - yodeling. It was a celebration. My Dad would have wanted a joke not a tear. He would have loved it.

The dog did growl at the piper once but mostly walked among the many people gathered, greeting everyone and licking their hands. I delivered my eulogy well. First time I had been able to read it aloud with out crying. I kept telling myself that would be what Dad would want. This was his day.

The WS was very helpful. He drove family here and there. He was good. After the reception, my brother and I drove him home to his new bachelor pad. Wow. It is really nice...great audiophile sound system. ... very swanky. At first I didn't want to go up for a drink but then I thought I should see this. The man has moved on. Now I need to.

I feel like I am mourning my marriage in layers. It has been a year of dispossession for me. I've lost my favourite strawhat on a plane in Paris, a car to an inattentive cabbie, a husband to a midlife surge of youthful giddy abandon and the allure of reinventing himself as a swinging bachelor .. a father to the inevitability of old age.

Life changes.

Paradise

I felt certain you would write a great eulogy. Delivering it was the challenge and I'm sure you handled it with your usual grace and style.

I'm surprised you went to the WH's new place. Remember curiousity killed the cat! Other than work the less you know and see the better. I can hear the hurt that was caused by your visit there in your journal entry. I have the same problem in that I just can't seem to stay away from my EX. Every contact brings out some sort of pain or conflict. I am doing everything I can now to maintain NC. I know you can't at this point but it sure sounds like you could minimize your hurts by seeing less of him and his SO. And no I don't think he has moved on . I think he is doing everything he can to convince himself what he is doing is right in his own mind. Continuing the fantasy and decorating it to fit the image his mind will accept and live with for now. Give the OW the time she needs to show her true colors. He will wake up to reality then.

Me giving you advise, thats like telling your heart surgeon how you want your surgery done. I have barely enough sense to keep my life in order let alone help you. I have a terrible hangover today! Three nights of overindulgence in a row. I lifted a glass of my best single malt to your Dad and one to you also as I said I would. The problems started when the lifting didn"t stop. Today will be a day of recovery and of rest.

Go do something for the poor dog you embarrassed at Halloween and get yourself to feeling better. I think your cold has you down more than anything else so get well and then get moving again.