DukHunter,

skanky-poo ?

LOL, I have always believed you to be a man of great verbage.

Been a bit preoccupied in my own thoughts and dealings here, but never miss a day to read. I have been booked to do some shows from Seattle to Maine and Florida to parts of Canada and I never, ever get the call to the fun places like where you are.

It's as if after my name on each list, there are remarks telling folks not to hire me in decent weather, english-speaking, "fun" kind of towns..LOL

When it happens.. I'm buying the coffee.

I think Paradise is always so right on the mark with you. A full vibrant life is around the corner.

If you can just get those darn taxes done first.

Blessings,

Eibrab

Paradise..

Not one day goes by for me, where I do not think of you and your grace. I truly think that I could pass you by in a large crowd of people and you'd stop me dead in my tracks with familiarity just from reading your words.

That, my "cyber" friend, is a huge talent.

I have mulled over Mr. Midnight's accident... and the call to you. You already know what I immediately thought about you being the first he reached out to. I hope that means I may be a fraction as wise as you . <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I feel sorry for Mr. Midnight. Not for his actions, but for what may be inside of his head at this point. I think we've all found ourselves in situations when we start to really think of how in the world we got to this point. That, in itself, is such a horrid thing to dwell on, but also such a healthy start to trying to figure out what life is truly all about.

He's in my prayers.

Cuba? I love it when we venture down to Mexico, as it gives me a chance to show off my talents learned from the children of some of the farm workers here.. I can talk about bikes, dolls, baseball, soccer, new shows.. you name it.

But, I doubt that I could buy a melon on my own.

I have spent the past few weeks trying to absorb myself in a search for a replacement male tortoise. It has helped in overcoming my grief from the passing of my male - even through many vet bills and hours spent in a bedside ritual.

I came close to losing a fingertip with a well-manicured, vietamese painted nail while trying to give the poor guy an injection. You give a large tortoise a shot in the part of the front leg closest to the shoulder. And you have to push hard..

It is not easy.

When, my poor "Elvis" disagreed and pulled his leg back into his shell, he took my finger as well. It took a 6'2", 250 man and a hysterically laughing nine year old boy to pry my finger back out.

All the while, I kept sniffling... don't hurt him.. I don't need that finger anyway.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We buried Elvis in a snowstorm.

I drove 4 hours to meet a very kind woman in the middle from VA who had a lovely male who needed a mate. What an amazing creature this one is. Very friendly. My female just loves the company. She has a new spark in her eyes and a slight bounce to her stride.

Of course, I did discover upon bringing this new one home in yet another blinding snowstorm, that he is, indeed, a she.

My daughter (almost 14) does tell me that it is becoming increasingly popular for same sex couples to adopt. That may be my only way of my ever hearing the slow pitter, patter of little tortoise feet.

This weekend, my H and I are major contributers to the hopeful success of a little league fund-raiser, where all the town people should be.. I am nervous and I am scared.

Yes, time does heal....but alot of these people knew more than I about "my" life, and chose to look the other way or even worse.

I have forgiven, but forgetting is hard.

I am hoping the right pair of dress slacks will make me look all the better as they talk about me from behind my back.

Thanks for always being "here" when I log on..

God Bless you,

Eibrab

Morning Eibrab!

It's good to hear from you. It must be hard to type with a damaged "tortoise finger". I think I would have been right there with the 9yr old in hysterics. I'm laughing now! The video of this would have been worth a great sum of money I'm sure.

Don't take any jobs out here in Reno for a while, we are flooding again. Seems we are in a really strange weather cycle these days. Drought part of the year followed by good snow followed by a tropical rain producing floods. Second time since New Years day. Nothing major but we're not out of the woods yet. And if you do come there is no way I'd let you buy the coffee, it would be my pleasure.

The taxes are done so things will be quiet from here on out. Now it's time to quit the bad habits I've picked up and to get back to the gym and start working on me. Today is my son's 22nd birtday. We have had two parties for him already and EX is doing her thing for him tonight. I'm glad to see all the attention for him because he's been thru a lot in the last year and deserves to be spoiled a little now. I stumbled across the pictures from his birthday last year a week ago with everyone all together for what would be the last time. In-laws, grandparents, everyone all at the house and EX on her crutches recovering from her hip replacement. Hard to imagine she was already back to seeing OM at the time but after everything else that has happened it fits.

Have a great day!

Hi Eibrab,

It is great to hear from you, although sad news. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. I am sure Elvis is still loving you from afar.

Elvis sounds like he had character. I use to know a bloodhound named Elvis. His Mom would strap him in the sidecar to her Harley and put a pair of little googles on him. His lips would ripple back - and flap in the wind. They made a striking pair.

He had peculiar habits. I don't know how to put this delicately. He liked to suck cat's heads. He lived with three cats. They were quite used to being pinned against a wall and having their entire head engulfed by his large sloppery mouth for extended periods. Apparently they were tasty.

She never took him to anyone else's home out of fear that he might corner some poor unsuspecting geriatric feline and cause its sudden demise.

Same sex turtle marriages? Hmmm. I had lunch with friends last week, one has a neighbour whose husband has decided to become a woman. The wife stopped by for tea to let her know that she may be seeing him wearing a dress shortly. He has decided to progress in stages first the attire then the surgery. Apparently their children and their children's friends are cool with his decision. That I am not sure I believe. If I remember being eight I would not have wanted my friends to think my Dad wanted to be a woman.

The complexity it spells for their relationship boggles my mind. Can someone want to be a woman yet stay married to his wife and never experience what it is like to be with a man? I have added the entire family to my list.

So many incredible challenges are faced everyday by everyday people - except each and every one of us is really quite miraculous.

I would make those dress pants - leather and wear sky high heels to boot... head high, chin up - and a big smile. Any woman that can: hold her family together under extreme duress; tend lovingly to a fingertip nipping sick turtle; be sensitive to the need for self esteem of a favourite horse; and love her husband regardless of his mistakes; deserves to be proud. I know I am proud of you.

Did you say you were coming to Canada? Ontario or Quebec maybe?

Cheers,

PB

paradise...you mentioned a fortysixty forum in a previous post. Can you please tell me where to find it?

Sorry for the threadjack.

Thank you,
beachgirl

Hi beachgirl68;

Here is the url for the fortysixty forum. I think you will enjoy reading the comments posted there - many will make you laugh.

**edit**

Cheers,

PB

Journal,

A busy night, I took my Mom grocery shopping and we had dinner together. We ordered sundaes - mine was chocolate hers was butterscotch.

I don't normally eat desert. I know I have not had a sundae in years. I had to help her into her coat when we went to leave. Life is a circle. I suspect that the last time we ate sundaes together I was so young she was the one helping me into my coat and making sure I had my mitts.

She has changed her mind. Now she thinks I should not divorce Mr. Midnight. She thinks he is crazy. His Mom sent me an email from Florida - yesterday. She thinks he is crazy too.

I think I would like to be crazy. Being the sane one is no fun at all really.

Earlier in the day I dropped off some of Mr. Midnight's things to his new pad. He didn't invite me in. He did describe further bits of decorating he has done.

The alien seems to really like everything just so. He has bought a new set of red pots. It floors me. He never cooks. He has pots hanging from a shiny chrome ceiling rack which are pure accessories to his colour scheme.

The man I was married to was a complete slop. Colour scheme and accessories were not in his vocabulary.

I use to find half eaten fruit in the couch, bowels of cereal with congealed moldy milk under the driver seat of his car. I could go on but I think I will stop there. Any discussion of a colour scheme would have elicited a grunt or at best two grunts in a semblance of approval to whatever I said I wanted to do.

People change on you when you are not looking.

Evening all,

I had my first IC appointment in two months tonight and he never ceases to amaze me. Why is it that someone you only know from a dozen or so one hour meetings can seem to see right thru you so easily? It also make me feel somewhat less than intelligent to have him point out the painfully obvious to me over and over and it still makes me feel better when I leave. He sounds like he has been talking to Paradise and Eibrab about me for months. He even uses you guys reference to how good things will be for me in another year or so. Scary!

Mom's have a pretty good feel for things Paradise. If Mom is holding out hope for Midnight it's a pretty good sign you should too. The only problem with that theory is mine says to forget the EX and find someone better. She is pretty adamant in her thinking too. I have been resisting her influence for a long time but maybe Mom's are the best judge of spouses sometimes. Hearing it from your parent carries a lot of weight and if it's what you want to hear it really perks you up. If it's not you try to pass it off like all the other things they told you and didn't listen to as teenagers and younger adults and paid for later.

Color schemes? Pots to match? I think your MLC theory is coming into focus rather sharply. All you have to do now is be able to survive the ordeal! Why don't you pretend to have one of your own? Get a lick and stick tatoo or two, buy some tasteless tacky and hooker like clothes and stage a spectacle for him one night. At least you could get a good belly laugh out of his response. While you are at it you could have Blue all done up in a mohawk or something and dye it some strange color too. You enjoy torturing him anyway!

Have a pleasant evening!

Oh Duhunter...

"Skanky" clothes for Paradise ! You may have hit on something... She has behaved so incredibly well. And, a bit of "stirring up" would not be misbehaving, would it?

I've attempted to find the leather pants Paradise is recommending for my dreaded event this weekend, but have had no luck. My nerves are silently shot, and I need to stay away from any more caffiene.

Yesterday, I had two of those dreaded CodeRed Mountain Dews, and a candy bar. I think I'm finally losing my composure..

And my waistline...lol

Your Counselor is a wise man.. he must have been reading Paradise's posts here..

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Blessings,

Eibrab

Eibrab,

I'm with Paradise, in that I am proud of you for holding your marriage and family together thru this personal storm your husband had. You should be the confident and composed one in the crowd. You didn't do anything other than stand up for youself, your marriage and your family. Can the OW say that? Can the people who looked the other way feel very good about themselves? Walk in like you own the place and look them all straight in the eyes and know you were the strong one who stood up for what was right.

I think Paradise does need to "shake things up" a bit! Right now Midnight's doing his "thing" with a measure of comfort in the back of his mind that Paradise is still there same as always and waiting for him to run his course. What if she threw a monkey wrench into his comfort level? Start doing some things that are definitely not "Paradise like"? Sure couldn't hurt and it may hasten his return to normalicy. I think she needs to start being a little more pro-active if this is truely what she wants. Not in a direct contact way with Midnight, but more in a way that signals changes in her to him too. Paradise, think about the things Midnight found most comforting in you during your marriage and give some outward sign that you have made a change there and see what happens. Give him something to unsettle him and something else to ponder other than "color schemes and ornamental pots".

Don't talk about waistlines, mine is all the way back to old lengths and I hate it. Just not a lot of energy right now to make an effort to reduce it. I think the AD's have reduced my ambition and drive to nothing. Still afraid to stop taking them yet. Too many thoughts still running as it is.

Hi Dukhuntr,

Just a quick line I am flying to Cuba tomorrow and have scads to do. I am glad the counselling session went well. I think half the battle when you are low is remembering all the people who care for you and want you to be well and happy.

Wastline hmmm.... what about trying acupuncture. I have been having a session once a week since this mess started rather than anti-depressants. I don't like pills. My family doctor recommended it to me when we discussed my current sorry state and I contempleted asking for meds. It works.

They use it for all manner ailments including weight loss. The needles don't hurt. It is a quiet time during the week. Fortyfive minutes where you just lie still. I have been impressed with the results. I suspect I would have felt much worse without it.

Skanky clothes no I don't think so. I have been trying to financially untangle our affairs. Change over credit cards and what not. His last visa bill has thousands of dollars spent on floral arrangements, fine dining and week end trips to Utah, Arizona, North Carolina - I didn't even know he had gone anywhere.

Standard for the MLC drill.

I think I will stay the course. Stay calm. Be positive. Work on me, establish new priorities - tidy up our finances - just generally get on with life.

I am working on the premise that my marriage is over and I am reorganizing on that basis. If it isn't well - all it will mean is that I am very up to date on my paperwork, my place is redecorated and I'm in better shape. All good things...

Two girlfriends and I had a sleep over at one of their houses last night. We ordered in Japanese, drank very good wine and talked instead of watching movies as planned. I am so thank full I have such great friends, including my cyber friends. It makes a huge difference.

Cheers,

PB

Hi Eibrab,

Well if no leather available, go with what makes you feel the best. Treat yourself to some salon pampering and maybe new perfume?

The truly lovely thing about behaving well, is that you behaved well. There is no aftermath of regret or embarassement to deal with.

It is the easier course in the long run.

Who was it that said," The reward of patience is more patience." (A man of the church who was stabbed at the alter due to a mispoken off hand comment of a king. Sorry, I can't think of his name.)

The patience you have shown with your husband, means you have a larger store of it - now. It will be easier for you to deal with the "others". They need your patience and your generousity of spirit. Their discomfort has a basis.

Good Luck. I will hoist a rum punch on the weekend with good thoughts for you and yours.

Cheers,

PB

Paradise..

I hope your trip is safe and wonderful, and that you do pack what you need to have a good time, regardless of the shame which will come from your brother.

I'm going to make you proud at this silly event.... at least I want you and Dukhunter to believe that..

And, truly... DukHunter is on to something with his idea.. It doesn't have to be clothing... but something out of the ordinary may do wonders for the Mr. Midnight realm... or it make spark a new direction for you.

Men thrive on competition, don't they DukHunter? And Paradise seems too wonderful and patient to have brought about that thought with her fogged-out husband.

Fogged-out.. I don't believe I've ever used that term before.

Just consider it on your adventure, Paradise... and know that we are all praying for your safe and happy return.

We'll miss you.

Blessings,

Eibrab

Journal,

I am packed, between my brother's very lengthy list and lots of stuff to give away - I have check in baggage! Yowser! I cannot remember the last time I have had check in luggage! Yikes!

I am drinking a rum and coke as a prelude to a much needed vacation.

My mind wandered tonight when I was packing. I had trouble making decisions. Red slacks or pink slacks? Do I need a denim dress? Should I bring my snokeling gear?

I have had a neck ache for two days now. I think it started the moment I took a close look at Midnight's lastest visa bill.

I was expecting to see OW spending at some point but it still leaves you alittle breathless. I was particularly startled by the big flower bills. Wow. I can count on one hand the number of times he has sent me flowers.

The most memorable occasion was on one our first dates. He denuded his Mom's front garden of purple pansies, then proceeded to bike 25 k to see me - holding them tightly in one hand. They arrived alittle sweaty and very crushed. I oh and awed like they were rare orchids at first bloom, and put them in a moorcraft vase with care.

Dear God ... what ever happened to that sweet young man that stood shyly on my doorstep - holding out stolen flowers - shining with joy at the very sight of me.....

He is lost... gone... only real in my memory. It is a great memory.

If I had to choose now. I would still prefer the pansies... the hard times... the fun of not needing much... or expecting much...of the moment being enough...


````````````````````````````````

I can't sleep. I am excited. I love going places.

I love Cuba. It is a wonderful island. The last time we were there we had dinner with friends of my brother's who worked at the Canadian embassy. They were full of stories.

The US has an unofficial representative in Havana. She had a black poodle she called - Fidel. She decided to join the Havana Dog Society and was warmly welcomed until they found out her dog's name and then she was politely shown the door.

Poor Castro, as dictators go I do believe his heart is in the right place, just sad the long term effect of such major errors in choosing his friends.

The island is like a time capsule from the 1950s. It is intriguing. We always rent cars and drive on highways that are completely free from traffic with the exception of a few military vehicles. People stand by the road for hours trying to hitch rides from village to village. We keep the car full at all times.

I remember picking up a farmer and his wife coming back from their tobacco field. He sat back put his arm around her and said... Honey we are going home in style....

Paradise,

Have a safe and happy vacation to the island. I hope you enjoy every minute and every breath while you are there. I also hope you bring back the cigars you owe me from last month! Remember COHIBA"S. In the glass tubes please. Good ones will have the look and feel of eel skin. Oily and moist. And for god's sake get drunk at least once, it will do you some good!

I say that because I did it again tonight. I sat across the events center at a basketball game watching my EX and the OM snuggling up to one another with my DD right next to them. Sickening! After the game they had a net cutting ceremony because we clinched the WAC title tonight. During the ceremony the OM spotted me and tried to stare me down. I motioned him over and he just stood there dumbfounded. When I headed his way he took off. What an [censored]! Of course EX did not get to see this she had disappeared. Those two deserve each other! I just wish DD would stay out of the mess. So of course I drank myself silly tonight. Not bright.

Eibrab is right, men do rise to competition like a moth to flame. Even when it serves no useful purpose, like tonight. I know challenging him would do nothing but put myself in trouble, but if he's going to throw down the gauntlet I'm going all in. I hate that boy! That is all he is, a boy playing games with other people's lives. He has no long term plans with her, he's just playing a game and she's buying it. I hope karma finds his address again soon!

Well I'm going to take several asprin and go to bed. Work will be a bummer tomorrow!

Buenes Tardes!

I am sitting in one of Holguin´s three cyber cafes that are open to the public. Holguin has 250,000 people. Each cafe has about three computers. One hour cost about one third of the average monthly salary here. There is always a computer available.

It is about 85 degrees, 40 percent humidity. Very sunny.
We are staying in a hotel which is luxurious by my brother´s standards. Built in the 80s by the Bulgarians! Soviet Block chic. You don´t use the elevators if you can possibly help it..ie. only when you are bringing in your luggage.

We are having fun. Lots of converstation... Coming back from the airport... my brother helped some fellow canadians switching from French to Spanish to English mid sentence. Handy having all those languages...

Last night we promenaded in Plaza Centrale... the cuban thing to do. The entire family dresses in their very best on Friday and Saturday and goes for a walk perhaps an ice cream ..... There is a lot of laughter here. They are very cheerful people. Extremely well educated. A higher literacy rate than the U.S. University is free.

No material goods though. Shoes come in and the store is swamped with people lining up. We just passed a street vendor who was selling children´s books perhaps 40 people were lined up to buy them. More customers than books. They have a great library system here though.

We eat at little palidars - private homes with at most 4 tables. Food in Cuba is limited... bland ...and unvaried. However, the cuisine is improving each year I come.

Eibrab, I hope your do went well.... and you enjoyed it after all. It has to get easier with each time you face people down... Eventually it will not be so taxing.

I hope you are all well.... Off to lisen to very good Cuban music and drink very good cuban rum...

Cheers,

PB

P.S. Miss the dog terribly ...doing my best to not miss Midnight...

Paradise..

It warms my heart to no end that you would even think of my evening while you are so far away and healing yourself.

God sure is using you here on MB.

I did well. I did great! I smiled all evening.. had a hint of maybe one rude comment, which is neither here nor there and H (who was the master of ceremonies) was a star.

More importantly... he was a star who was very much "there" with me, even as "in-demand" as he was.

I think you are right... each time does get easier.

And wearing the right thing, makes it feel better, too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thank you so much for caring and be careful in your journey..

Blessings,

Eibrab

DukHunter..

I made it.

It was "my" basketball game. I don't know how you do your's so frequently..

You inspire me. Thank you for helping.

Blessings,

Eibrab

Hola,

I have only a few minutes left on this machine. It has been a great trip. Lots to tell... however, short of computer time to tell it in.

It takes unbelievably long here for the computers to process commands.

We have been travelling in the small dusty towns.. staying in family homes... meeting many wonderful people. I have been taking spanish classes daily.

Today.. I gave away two pairs of shoes I was very attached to. After a very fun session in a very dusty antiquated beuty salon. Women the world over like to have their hair done and wear beautiful shoes. Gifts of that magnitude here are equal to more than a month's salary and engender much shrieking - jumping up and down... and general joy.

I have had a great time... and really enjoyed my brother's company.

I am so glad Eibrab.. that your do went well. Grace under pressure is a valuable asset in life. One people remember for a long time.

Hasta Pronto..

PB

And we sure miss you...


And your shoes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Eibrab