Help someone. I need some feedback on this. My WH tells me that I will get D papers next week but turns around in the same breath to tell me that he will make sure that I have the funds I need & the kids have what they need. He says "at this point it is over. He can't deal with me(like I'm the one who cheated). He doesn't want to see or talk to me. Communicate with him through email. Let's call it over and get through the D. Maybe later we can sit down and talk sensibly to each other and work out the details of the D. Definitely right now we can't see each other." Is he trying to talk himself into believing this or what? Is the reason he doesn't want to see or talk to me b/c he still loves me and can't deal with it face to face? Please tell me this is "fog talk".

does he have groundsto file for divorce in your state?

is there a required time that you must live apart before he can file?

If you do not know the answers to these questions go online and look at the answers specific to your state....

see if you can stall...

get a free consult with a lawyer to find out

This is fog-talk, but not the way you are thinking. He is wanting to do his own thing with the other woman. He would like it very much if you don't cause any problems.

I hope that you will secure the finances for your family.

We are in a no-fault state but I did learn that if he does file that we are required to go through counseling. I'm the one who has grounds for a D not him that's why I don't understand why he would be willing to give up child support for 5 kids, spousal support, 1/2 of his retirement, his business, his home, his kids. He wrecked his car back in June and still can't get financing for a new one, he has to rent car. Is he crazy or what for giving up all of this.

Thanks for your reply. That's fine I let him figure out that she is not who he wants. Actually I hope that he did file for a D so I can go to court in a few days and get temporary child support and spousal support and not have to depend on him for money.

Well surprise surprise never got those D papers last week but I have been seriously considering filing for one myself. He is still very hateful towards me, doesn't want to see or talk to me like I was the one lying and cheating. When I bring up the subject about his A and ask him if he is still seeing OW he just says that he doesn't want to get into this conversation right now b/c of the scars. Whatever that means, he has scars I am the one with the scars. Could he possibly be feeling a little remorse/guilt for what he has done or is he in fact still seeing her? And if so, does anyone know how I would go about getting OWH info, I don't know her last name but I know her and her husband first name and that he is out of state-which she is suppose to join him in Nov. I guess I could hire a PI to get me a copy of his cellphone bill to see if the number is in OWH name but it will cost me $240. He redlined(think that what customer service called it) the cellphone bill to where I cannot access it-only the account holder (which is him) can. Any ideas/suggestions are very much appreciated.

HELP!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!
HELP!!!!!!

The first thing is to figure out how to contact her husband. There are some on-line sites that you can get copies of cell phone activity. I forget what they are right now. Maybe someone else will chime in.

Start in Plan A. Of course your husband doesn't want to discuss his betrayal.

Have you exposed the affair to anyone else?

Also I would go to court and file for some temporary support.

That would be great if someone could chime in and get me those websites. I exposed it to his boxing center staff and students-which OW is the mother of one of his students which she now also takes boxing. She denied it and said that it was not her I saw at his apartment-of course b/c she doesn't want it getting back to her husband. I also exposed to his parents, his sister, and his brother, a few of our mutual friends, our pastor, and my mother(well actually she knew something was wrong so I confessed). Can't do Plan A b/c he will not talk to or see me (we are separated), he won't even come see the kids(says he doesn't want to be at our house right now). Can't get temporary child or spousal support until a D or legal separation is filed.

((((BUMP))))

Did you read believer's advice? No one can give you better advice than that. Expose to the OW's husband and go file for financial support.

Yes I am in the process of getting a copy of H cell phone records and hopefully I can find OWH and expose the affair to him. Can't get financial support (child and spousal support) until a D or legal separation is filed.

Get some kind of legal help in securing your finances. Don't rely on him to do what is right.

The state is about to go after H for child support b/c I had to go get state assistance (Food Stamps and Temporary Assistance) they said that they will open the case in a couple of more weeks. He is going to get a wake up call. I am thinking about filing for a D to get the Spousal Support also since I am being cheated out of that.