My FWH had "lent" and spent a lot of money on the OW. So when i found out about the A I took all credit cards from him and pulled out all money from our checking account and put it into an account of my own. He had opened a private credit card which i let him keep ( i call it his whorecard) but the statements are now being sent to our house instead of his work. The problem is that today i found out that there is an online account that he is still paying for for her that he forgot about. (not a private one, but one he set up for her to start on online business) He said he will cancel it right away...but right now that is triggering me into my whole depression about the A again. I am constantly reminded of the A because it put us into a lot of debt to pay of hers. My H never has been too good with money and i have always been the one to pay bills and budget (one of the reasons for the private credit card) so i handle all the money issues. I hate that I feel like i have to pay for his "vacations" with her while i am desperate to get away myself. Just needing to vent and feel some support i guess.

~LT <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

I had an excellent credit rating through much of my life. One of my credit cards had a credit limit of $29,000.00. All of a sudden my spouse started bringing home a whole lot less money from his job. He was a house painter so his hours and pay varied from week to week. I was scrambling to try and cover our bills. I would transfer to different credit cards with lower interest rates. I cut back as much as I could. I was making sure that his child support was being sent in for his children from his first marriage.

I later found out that at least half of his pay was going to support the OW...and some female friends of his who had "run into hard times"! He had a $300.00 insurance check that I never saw a pennie of! He had been taking pay advances at a "Check -n- Go" to meet the OW's rent obligations on time! The interest for 2 weeks for $300.00 was $75.00!!!

We divorced. I was stuck with all the debt since the credit was all in my name. I ended up filing bankruptcy. I was embarassed and felt badly because I didn't honor my debts. I'm three years post-divorce, and still am paying for the consequences of what happened. The bankruptcy will be on my credit record for at least 10 years. And his credit rating wasn't affected one bit! Just when I'm getting settled and making peace with all that's happened, it seems like something else pops up to remind me why I'm in my current financial situation.

I'm sorry that you're having to go through this. For being the "innocent" party we seem to have some pretty crappy consequences!