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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1 |
I just recently confessed to my Husband about 2 relationships I had, I never had sexual relations with either of them, but there were conversations that my husband would not approve of and some other stuff. (pop kisses, over the clothes stuff, etc) I came clean about the details and suprisingly everything seems ok, I am very remorseful and sincerely sorry, I have picked up some extra chores, and been very reassuring that it won't happen again, and very touchy and affectionate. He is responding well but still says he can't get visions out of his head and has angry outbursts and is calm again. We have implimented some of the stratigies from this website and they are quite interesting and fun. I wanted to know what else I should be doing or not doing to help him, I am afraid that he will just try to bury his feelings and secretaly hate me. I am going to a counselor today but he doesnt want to go, he says that he needs to "grieve". But he wants me to go. I really love my husband and want to help him through this ruf time. Thank you for any feedback or opinions. I am open for any suggestions, P.s. our sex life has gotten much better, what does that mean.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,204
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,204 |
Hi Ricsgirl,
Welcome to Marriage Builders. Sorry it isn't on better terms. You did the first right thing in recovery - you confessed and you CHOSE your marriage.
It is very normal for him to be angry, and this may take years for him to overcome. Even if it wasn't sex, any affair (inappropriate relationship) can be just as devestating.
Keep going to your councellor as you will need help to get through this, and as for him, make sure you tell him everything he wants to know, if he has an outburst - don't outburst back, just tell him you are sorry and you love him. It sounds repetative, but getting into fights will just further the anger.
Please follow the link in my signature below too - it has alot of information written for women who have had affairs. It will help you alot.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,715 |
Have the two of you worked to identify WHY you let this happen, and how you can prevent it in the future?
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