WH moved out a couple of weeks ago for 2nd time stating he needed "space and time to figure out what his needs are and to sort some things out." Since then we've spoken on the phone fairly regularly, but usually I'm the one to initiate the contact. We've gotten together on the weekends generally and had "dates" and some SF.
I completely suck at Plan A'ing and whenever we are together I inevitably ask him something about our relationship. All he tells me is he "hasn't completely written anything off yet."
He is still in contact with OW beyond work. In fact, last Sunday after a very nice day spent together even with me not asking about the relationship(go me!) and him saying what a good time he's having, etc., she called him on his mobile. What hurt me was he took the call. He went outside and chatted with her for about 10 min and came back inside. Then he started asking me what's wrong. Well, he knew what was wrong but I said nothing. When he left (which incidentally wasn't long after) he mentioned again that he had a good time and I did too, but I LB'd by saying "right up until OW called."
Anyway, I'm wondering if since I can't seem to do a Plan A worth a darn if I should move to a Plan B and just go dark altogether? What do you guys think?
I've worked up a Plan B letter. What do you think of it?
I apologize to you for my part in creating an environment that helped make your affair with OW possible. I became complacent and I know I took you and our relationship for granted. I foolishly thought that my vote was worth more since I made more money and in doing so I disregarded your needs.
You’ve made it abundantly clear in your comments and actions that my presence in your life right now is only serving to make things more difficult for you. I love you, WH, with all of my heart so please know it’s not easy for me to say this to you. In order to allow you the time and space you say that you need to sort things out for yourself, I’ll be avoiding seeing or talking to you.
I am willing to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past and create a new life for both of us that will meet your needs. Should you decide that you want to make me and our marriage a priority and that you want to work together in building a better, stronger relationship the we’ve ever had, I will be here. I do love you. However, in order for me to feel safe enough to start to rebuild I need to know that you have ended any and all non-business contact with OW.
If there is anything that we need to talk about we can do it via email. If there is something urgent or there is an emergency, please call me or have your mother call as I do still care about you and would want to know if something happened to you. I will make sure that you continue to get any mail.
I want us to be able to rebuild our marriage. I want us to be able to meet each other’s needs and to avoid doing anything to hurt each other. I want to be your best friend, always there for you during times of joy and sadness and I want you to be my best friend again.
I have loved you before and when we married as I continue to love you today. I just can’t stay on this rollercoaster any longer.
All my love,
All thoughts, opinions, 2x4's welcomed. Thanks.
