My H had an affair for the past year and he filed for divorce in March. Since that date we have a custody agreement for the children and the last thing is the division of assets.

Since the OW has dumped him he has been more attentive, but nothing has been said about fixing our marriage.

I am just confused wondering if I would be better off with out him and start over with someone new down the line or am I holding on to him for the financial reasons. Am I scared that I will be a single mom and I will be responsible for everything. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 7 years, so a job is in my future and I am OK with that.

How do you get the strenghth to say I am done and I am tired of being 2nd in their life. Do you feel a little better once you do that? I guess I am afraid of making a mistake so I kind of do nothing?

Sorry I do not know if I am making any sense - I think I just needed to vent a little.

Thanks.

HI!

A FEW THOUGHTS...

The OW dumped him. He didn't leave her to save your marraige? I have been there. What happens if she wants him back? What happens if another OW comes along? Which will most likely happen. I do not want to hurt you. Honestly. I can tell you that I was married for over 7 years when my H started cheating. He even dumped her to come back to me, then..... she started to see another guy and he was so upset he left again.. Then she dumped him again and he came back.... It goes on and on until one day you SAY "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. I DESERVE MORE THAN THIS.." I left my H with an 8 week old baby and at that point did not look back. But it took 3 years of ****** and almost losing my life in child birth do get me there.

If you have not already, please go see a couselor, adivsor someone to talk to who is not biase in any way. Also Be strong. You only have one life. Do you want to live it on a roller Coaster?

Hmmm. I would give it more time before making a decision. Your husband may wake up and realize what he has done. Many people go on to have good marriages after an affair.

It would also be better for your children to be in an intact family. I raised my boys by myself for 12 years, and it was nothing but a struggle.

If your husband doesn't make a drastic turn-around, I would not stay married. But I would give him more time.

Thanks for your input. I am a little tired of the roller coaster ride and I do not want to harm my children.

I know he was attached to this woman, and I honestly feel that if she really wanted him he would have moved in with her and left us behind. I just do not think that is what she wanted.

I am struggling to connect with my H because I do not want to get hurt so I hold back a lot and really do not want him all the way in my life. He has said one of the problems in our marriage was I did not open up, but here I am thinking how am I supposed to be open and honest when he has not been and a part of me feels that he is thinking about her all the time. Maybe I need more time, but it has been a year with no change and I really do not want to wait around forever.

I am seeing a counselor and we are working on me and really not my marriage since at this point there really is not one.

Thanks.