Hi stranger-

I am sorry it has been so long. The end of summer has been nuts and I still don't have my computer fixed. I am such a procrastinator!

How are you? How was the trip to Florida? How are the girls? When do they start school? I start Monday, the kids next Thursday. That means that I am back to computer access! We have so much to catch up on!

I truly apologize for the long absence. I have really missed chatting with you.

Talk soon!

Take care and God bless!

K

I'm so glad to hear from you Still!

I was figuring I would get to hear from you soon, knowing that you will be headed back to school soon.

I think of you ALL the time and wonder how things are in your life. Please tell my about your bf and your kids. How was your vacation? I think I remember, the Packers camp right?

My girls are doing real well. This week has been very full getting dr appts out of the way before the year begins.
My oldest is starting HS, and joined the band so our summer ended pretty much 8/1. She seems very happy in it though.
My youngest will be in 5th this year, and she just keeps blossoming.
They both are special girls!
They start school tomorrow.

My trip to Florida was great! It went fast, and I enjoyed every bit of it. On my way home, the plane coming into my town was overbooked, so I got bumped, and got a round trip ticket out of it! So, I get to go somewhere again!
It was a great experience for me.

On my return home at the airport in Orlando, I got to meet my first MB buddy. That was neat!! He's one of the guys on here. He's really nice and has become a neat friend. It was funny. He also was traveling that same day. I told him what time my flight was out of there, and he scheduled his flight around my time, which ended up being the exact same time. Even funnier, we were on the same airlines, different flights. My one friend really wasn't happy about me meeting this stranger. I felt totally okay with it. Heck, I was meeting him on the "other" side. I figured he couldn't be too dangerous, he couldn't have a gun or knife. She is over protective not to mention been married for 25 years and doesn't understand meeing someone. He is very nice and the conversation was easy.
Maybe he will chime in and give himself up!!

I have had no contact with xbf, or seen him.
I still struggle with that whole thing. I doubt myself concerning the whole relationship, often. I went through a period where I was pretty okay with it. The last few weeks, have been harder. I will say this time alone is what I have needed. It has brought a lot of closure to things that I needed to close out.
I have not really met anyone else so to speak. I was introduced to one man, whom I wish I could have been asked if I was interested in meeting before I was introduced. He has called me a few times,[I did not give him my # he got a hold of it somehow] each time I was not home. However, he took this personally, and told the woman who introduced me, that I must not want to talk to him......That ticked me off. He never left me his # to call him. I will chalk that up to, glad I never was home!
There is one guy I may meet. I just don't seem to be too interested in the whole dating process right now,and seem more afraid of what if something clicks??. I'm finding I'm doing a lot of comparing to what I HAD, and that is not a healthy thing.

My girls did see xbf a couple of weeks ago. My oldest said Mom, he looked hotter than ever! to that I said thanks!
and my youngest tried to hurry and cover it with, oh mom, he looked like he gained weight!! Gotta love my girls!!!!

Things with x are running pretty smoothly for the most part. When he does pull one, he always out does the last thing he did. It just make me glad that he has the title, X.

I'm so glad you popped in. Please post back when you can and fill me in!

Take care and good luck preparing for school!
K.

Hi Karona


I doubt he'll show himself, but you never know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> How is the airport there in Orlando? I heard some of the eatery's in the terminal could use a little more air conditioning. Is there anything to that?

FR

So, I'm guessing he just popped out. Now, is he going to meet peachy when she's in orlando next week?

Hello ladies, and fish. Glad to hear everyone is well.
I, too, am glad there's an X label. I'm heading off to the shore for the next two weekends, and can't wait to relax while my dd's are on vacation, somewhere unknown.

Hey All!
And what do you know, FR has exposed himself!![you deserved that one!]

So, are you going to return to the airport FR?

Now that there has been some question as to the airport airconditioning, I feel I have to explain.

Mr. FR was kind enough to offer to buy me a drink while we were waiting.
He stuck us in this little corner [alright, I went willingly] and it was rather stuffy/warm.
I thought he would have been gracious enough to not mention it, but, I guess he still finds humor in it.
I broke out in some sort of flash, and asked to move to another spot.
OH well. So much for first impressions!!

He's/(your) a fun guy, even though he/(you) has(ve) not let me live it down.

Glad to hear from you too Newly.
Have fun on your mini vacations.

Karona

It must have been a hot flash due to his presence <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hot flashes, airports, what have I been missing! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Karona- it sounds as if life is really picking up for you! You seem to have grown so much in the time I have known you. You are really discovering who you are and seem to be having a fun time doing it. As for the men part, trust your instincts, when the time is right it will happen.

I personally think that sometimes life is better single! Things are going well with the bf, it just seems that I am feeling like I am losing too much of myself and I am not comfortable with it! Funny thing is that my last bf was always very independent, the new one is completely the opposite, is there some happy medium?

newly- enjoy your mini vacations. So your x is keeping his vacation whereabouts with your girls a secret huh? Sounds like something mine would do. He is always secretive, like he wants me to inquire and draw it out of him. I say who cares!

The summer has blown by. I can't believe that I am starting school already! I am so unprepared, yet can't seem to get motiviated to get things ready.

I think I am in a time of reflection about all parts of my life and confused to where it is heading. I could really use a meeting with you girls to gain some clarity!

I have to run, but will be checking back soon!

Have great weekends!

Take care and God bless!
K

PS- Welcome Fishracer!

Oh Still, you had me laughing!

As I was saying.....

See what happens when you don't come around?!

It is a funny story.

Thanks for the compliment. I guess in looking back, I have come a long way. I do have a way to go, but I'm heading in the right direction.

I'm glad to hear things are progressing well for you. I know exactly what you mean about the comparison. I couldn't have said it better myself, and the rest is history as we know it.
Even though I struggle with "what could have been" I have been given something that I needed, and that is "time".

I still would love to meet you both. I don't know that I could offer clarity, but I'm sure we would have fun regardless.

I know your preparing for school, but get back to us when you can.

And Newly, it must have been something that was said, because surely I'm not old enough for the HF's! HaHa

Take care,
K.

Newly:


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
FR

I created a smile for another MB male! Always a good thing.


Ladies, about vacations. My DD called me yesterday, and after 3 phone messages, I have yet to hear back from her. X's cell phone goes directly to messages, and it's her birthday today and I can't reach her. It sucks.
She gets very upset if her calls are not returned quickly (by me or her dad). Uggh. Can't some X's just crawl under a rock. That's my vent for the day. sorry, I just had to get it out.

Good job there Newly!!

This is awful concerning your daughter.
Your x is crazy. When will they ever figure out that they are not hurting us, but they are hurting their child? Assuming there is not service problems, but he could take her somewhere if that were the case so she could contact you.

I'm sorry for you and your little one. My oldest is this same way. I know she would be very upset given the same situation, so I'm imagining how your's feels, not to mention it's her birthday!

You deserve the vent.

Karona

Hey,

Well, "it" happened last night.

My brother came through town on his way home and took us girls out to dinner. {myself, girls, and his daughter}

We went to the Outback [love that place] we walk in the door and I look straight ahead, and there is xbf at the bar, with a guy friend, thank goodness.

My stomach immediately started doing cartwheels and I all but lost my appetite.
I hurried and looked away, did not know what to do.

I mentioned to my girls he was there, and they begged to go see him. They adored him, well, more my older, but younger was pretty good about him.

They were so excited they got to talk to him.

My brother asked me if I was going to speak, and I just sat there not knowing what to do.
Finally, at the end of dinner, I decided I should do this.
I walked up to him and spoke.

He seemed genuinely happy to see me, we had very small talk, and I started to leave and he got up and gave me a hug.

That was it!
Now, I hardly slept all night trying to relive and interpret the whole scenario.

There was nothing said that gave me anything vibes one way or the other. While there are mixed emotions, there are definitely still feelings there on my end.

oh how life can be so confusing!!

Karona <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I hope you don't mind my asking, and I'm sure you know why I am curious...

In the time that you've had apart from him (how long has it been?), have you been able to identify what it was that caused you to have reservations?

Has it/they been resolved?

Hi BG!

Yes, I know exactly why you are asking, and I don't mind answering.

It had been 14 1/2 weeks since the last time I saw him, and almost 11 weeks since the final breakup.

I have pretty much have always known that I wasn't ready for the commitment, yet. He indeed has the qualities I wanted, but it was the healing time I needed.

I realize after seeing him last night, that the feelings are very much still there [for me], but I can't act on them.
A friend asked me why don't I call him and let this be known?
I can't because I still can't say that I'm ready to be married. It's not that I'm out doing up the town. I have not been on one date in this entire time apart.
It could be all fear. A fear that I will fail again in marriage.

I have come to the conclusion, if he were to call me and ask me out, I would gladly go.
I also worry that too much pain had been caused in the relationship and that possbily we could never get back what we had.
I know it hurts me that he turned right away to someone else.

Considering the fact this guy is a total stranger, any input as to if the hug had any significance?

How about you? Have you seen your xgf? Any word about her?

Thanks for asking.
Karona

Is it that you can't ever picture yourself being married again period? You can't see yourself getting married right now? You can't see yourself getting married to him?

Does it have to be an all or nothing proposition?



Is that fair to him if you are still unsure?



Or maybe you could never get back what you have because you have grown/healed.



All I can say is, that for me, I was getting to the point where I couldn't function because I thought about her so much. My feelings for my XGF have not changed one iota. Perhaps it is the same with him.



It is a positive sign. How touchy feely is he with his other friends? I typically don't hug friends, and I certainly don't hug people I have negative feelings for. Does it mean he's ready for another round with Karona? I don't think you can read that much into it.



My XGF lives over an hour away from me, so we wouldn't run into her unless I stalked her or if my cousin (who is her friend) neglects to tell her I'm coming around on my infrequent visits to her.

The last time I saw her was July 3rd, which was the morning after she called and unbroke up with me 20 hours after she broke up with me. The kids and I went on a two week vacation. The last time we talked was when she called to cancel a date we'd scheduled July 15th. I told her (left a message, since she had stopped taking my calls) that I was going to start seeing other women a week and a half after that.

I haven't heard from her and I haven't asked my cousin about her, so I don't know what is going on at this point. I would be surprised if I heard from her again.

Her birthday is at the end of November. If I still feel the same way about her, I plan to send a small gift wishing her a Happy Birthday, to see if that will prompt her to contact me.

Thanks...

No way is it that I don't want it. It's the fact that I was married for 18 years, and I "think" if I married too soon, I wonder how healthy I really would be.
The reason I put so much into the all or nothing is because that was what he pushed for while were together.


My thought was, I wouldn't pursue him, because that to me is unfair, because I'm still not ready to say I do.
I'm not a game player. I would never do anything intentional to hurt him. If he asked, I guess I would think, he was ready to take a chance with me, and see where things might go.


Maybe!


That's fair to say.
But, I like the positive part!


I think that's a nice gesture! So, since you say your feelings haven't changed one iota, are you feeling she is the one?

Take care, BG and thanks for the input.
K

I don't know that I can truly say that she is "the one". We really didn't know each other long enough to truly get to know each other. She has some character traits that I think I would find difficult to live with.

BUT...

I can say that more than once I was moved to tears because of the depth of my feelings for her. (completely to my shock, because that has never happened before) It was she who motivated me to take the chance again after largely being out of the game for 8 years.

I don't know, I just don't know...

Thanks!

Well, I would say you softened up in that amount of time!
And that's not a bad thing!!

I find myself wondering if my guy was the one. This sighting has set me back I must admit.

Hey, I just noticed your sig. line. I think it's great!
The part about looking for the one to hold you hand at 85!

Take care,
K

Just some thoughts...

If I understand Dr. Harley's theories correctly as stated in "The One: A Field Guide to Relationships That Last", "the one" is simply someone who naturally meets our ENs and at the same time has no LBs.

The whole premise of MB is that if both people are willing to work at the ENs that can be controlled and meet the ENs that can't be controlled, someone who currently isn't "the one" can become "the one". This blows the whole theory of "soulmate" out of the water in my opinion. I subscribe to Dr. Harley's theories.

So... maybe he is currently the one, maybe he isn't. Either way, it doesn't mean that he couldn't become "the one" for you.

The real problem for you, IMHO, is that because you initiated your relationship with him so early in the demise of your marriage, it is difficult for you to trust your feelings because the chance of it being a rebound relationship is so great. Even after all this time.

I sincerely believe that you need to date the 29 guys Dr. Harley suggests you date before committing to exclusivity to this man. Yes, there is a chance HE may find someone else, but that just means it wasn't meant to be. Yes, there is a chance YOU may find someone else, again, if that happens, it just wasn't meant to be. Mrs. Harley dated another man when she was ENGAGED to Dr. Harley and he accepted it, because he understood, she needed to make sure she was making the right decision.

YOU need to make sure you are making the right decision. I don't think that is going to happen until you date other men, IMHO. It is only then that you are going to find out if your feelings for him are real, or just rebound.

This is the same advice I would give my XGF if she were to contact me again. She needs the healing process that dating other men will bring. At this time, I can't date her because our desire to be exclusive to each other is too strong. But in time, if it is meant to be, we will get back together.

Thanks for noticing my sig. I always get the warm fuzzies when I see the "old folks" being affectionate. I want that.