GrapeGirl,

I start a new job next week, too, at the high school. I know about that fingerprinting thing. Makes you feel a little sketchy, huh?
Don't you love the idea of summers off...and spring break and Christmas, and holidays,,,,woohooo!!!!
Even went school clothes shopping for me! Have fun and good luck. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My marriage to my FWW is better then it ever has been. Everything is great. She has done everything in her power to fix what she did. She tells me everything and opened her life up to me like an open book.

But....

I am married to a women who cheated on me.

Now if I can just get over that tiny detail...:)

StillHere,
That is exactly the topic of a thread I just started. I so want to hear from others that have made it. I am six months in to recovery and I need to see a light at the end of a tunnel, even if it is someone else's.

You sound just like I am feeling. My spouse is doing everything he can to help me heal. Read my thread just posted today....lots of similar questions...keep hangin' on...that is what I keep telling myself. One day at a time....maybe they will finally string together into something whole again.
Bless you, friend.

You could look at it as you are married to a woman who made a horrible choice, but has made up for that mistake and learned from it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> After all - she is only human...and humans make mistakes. And I bet she wont make that mistake again. She isn't cheating on you now, and probably wont again. Sometimes I get the idea you think of your wife as a cheater. She was a cheater - she isn't anymore - just like was, and am not now, and just like My H was and isn't now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am glad to hear things are going good for you Hemi - I remember you joined the board back about when Sprint and I joined up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I pray we will get here. I have so much faith in my H and my M. But, R is so slow sometimes.

Any tips on what you think you did right and what you wished you had done differently? Anyone?

If only we could get her to wear gstring bob, even better yet none at all! **********edit***********

Dorry, I really needed to hear what you had to say. I need to remind myself that H is not the same man he was. Also, I forget to tell myself sometimes, what if I had cheated...would I want to be given a second chance?? Of, course I would.

Dorry,

I'm with Hemi, sorry. Maybe FWS and BS will always think differently about that.

Back to GOOD NEWS programming ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

After watching the news I am grateful for all that I have. I am no longer living with one foot out the door. I have realized I have a wonderful FWH that has done all he can to heal or marriage. I am doing the same.

Recovery is great, life is good. As my husband and I stood and stared at the TV this morning I turned to him and said "At least we have each other and our children as a family and I love you for that"!

hi im just wondering- how long was it from dd to recovery- what did you do or your ws o turn things around?

Maybe - but I don't look at my H as a cheaterjn - and you know he was. He isn't anymore. Maybe it's just different people, different views - not FWS and BS as I am both. My H cheated on me, but he made a mistake. A horrible horrible mistake. But he is not that person now. Maybe Sprint thinks like you guys? even though he had an A too? I should ask him one day. Maybe it's a stubborn male thing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Or maybe it's because I was a Ws too? Don't know.

I know mine comes not from what I did - as I am more willing to let H off the hook than I am to let myself off the hook - but I try to look at it from God's view. He built us to fail, he built us to sin. he wants us to do the the right thing, and he is willing to fogive and forget as far as the east is from the west. He is willing to look at us in his righteous cloak and see us in all our glory and not label us - murderer, adulterer, theif...once we repent and submit.

My H has repented, he has admited his wrongs, he has changed - so why should I label him, or hold it against him, i wouldn't want god to do that to me, or to him...

Perhaps I am off in my thinking though

5 years in Recovery, which is twice as long as the bad times! And my H is home after a 13 month deployment. There were many times this past year that I simply prayed for God's far-seeing eyes to be upon my H and keep him safe. In some ways it was an experiment in meeting ENs, when all communication was by phone or email and an occasional video conference. But, we got through it and have mostly readjusted to reunion. A year of separation makes a lot of difference in people. I feel like a stronger more independent person.

Earlier in the month we took a 10 day vacation with our daughters and had a wonderful family time. We're making all sorts of future plans for ourselves and we have really great friends.

Our daughters are 4.0 honor students and clear thinking good young adults. One a senior in HS the other a soph in college. We're good parents.

H has been out of town for 2 days, he's coming home tonight and I'm excited to see him.

I'm happy.

Dorry

You are not at all off in your thinking. I wish I could share it, as I am sure many other hurt BS do.

But the pain and consequences of the forced betrayal of our innocence are ever abroad in our lives, not complicated by affairs of our own, perhaps.

As a mortal man I cannot forgive and forget every insult so readily.

Squid labelled herself an adulteress, formed a 'one flesh' union with a dirty old wastrel and labelled me a cuckold.

I have forgiven Squid, but can never forget. I am not God.

Hi winterkisses,

D-day was Dec. 20/03. Real recovery began Jan 11/05 when NC was finally put into place. Yup, two years and lots of back and forth between me and OW and a divorce filing in between. I stopped trying to control him and focused on myself and his A spiralled downward until it got so bad he was finally able to pull himself out of it. It's been a long road that doesn't seem to be getting any shorter.

But we're travelling down it side by side now, so I guess this still belongs on a "good news" thread.

G

My Husband just plain ROCKS!!! He is the smartest, funniest (and I think he's getting even funnier! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ), sweetest, coolest, hottest, sexiest man in the whole world. I feel so privileged and proud to be his wife...He has taught me what true strength and grace look like by continuing to be the man he set out to be...even in the face of my betrayal...he never yelled, threw or broke things...he was just him...offering me a safe place to fall when I certainly didn't deserve it. His willingness and enthusiasm towards meeting my EN's is so flattering...for the first time in my life I feel really loved and cherished. No affair anywhere could ever produce the high that being unconditionally loved by him does...so I guess I'm in a fog about my husband and I look forward to getting foggier and foggier each day...

So, guess what honey??? I'm not "in love" with you... I'm IN LOVE, IN LIKE, IN LUST etc . with YOU and only YYYOOOUUU!!!! As long as I live there will never be another you for me...thank you for saving me from myself, showing me that I matter to you and loving a very unlovable me...you truly are my hero...I can't imagine a world where there is no "us", I'm so glad I don't have to!...You are my greatest pleasure...Always..."J"

I guess that at this point I can say my good news is that I have survived and am now ready to thrive. Thanks to my good friends on this forum. Dont know where I would be without this site.