Well, I finally did it. I picked up the divorce papers, signed my part and gave them to my wife last night. She was in a good mood prior to this, but I asked her once again if she would be willing to go back into MC and try and work on our marriage. She said she wasn't interested. So I told her that I'm sorry that she didn't want to do that and that I'm sorry that she didn't feel compelled to do anything to help restore our marriage. She says that she would stay for the sake of our daughter and that she loves me, but not like I want her to. I told her that I don't want a room-mate, I want a wife.

She got upset, said that I wouldn't let "it" die. She won't change jobs for this school year, and she's not sure which side of the fence she will land on.

So I told her I'm sorry to hear that and that she can go ahead and sign the papers. I "fixed" the one sticking point she had with the papers, so there is no reason, other than she wants to save the marriage, for her not to sign the papers.

We had a good morning, held each other, etc . . . But it doesn't change things (much). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

She won't look for a new job, she won't be respectful of my feelings, etc . . .

So what's left?

Well, wife hasn't done anything with the divorce papers. So tonight she went out with her parents to a Horse Race. She went with her parents and another single guy (friend and law partner of her dad's, but younger). The four of them drove together, went to dinner, and watched the races.

She came home, I told her how inappropriate I felt this was. We argued, we both said some mean things.

Half hour later, I then told her that I loved her and that I'm sorry, but that I no longer wanted to be married to her. She said for me to not be sorry and hugged me, she then went and read a story to our daughter and went to sleep.

Now I can't sleep. I'm pretty sure I did the right thing, but it's hard. She's not married and she just uses me when it's convenient for her.

She's leaving tomorrow for St Louis with our daughter for four days with her parents to see and visit her aunts and uncles. It's going to be a long weekend!!!

I don't blame you. Are her parents fixing her up with a date?

Your WW is on the same script as my WH. I've just about reached the end of my rope too. I think you did what you need to do to stay true to yourself.

It feels horrible. I'm sure they will say that it wasn't a date, but it sure looks like one!!!

I don't get any of this, but there's nothing left for me to do. Other than Plan B, I've tried or attempted everything I can think of.

She doesn't get it or doesn't want to.

I feel like S#!+! I don't think I'll sleep tonight. I can't believe my wife is sound asleep. I guess it shows how little this is affecting her.

I love my daughter so much, I just hate to think of how this is going to affect her and change her life. The thought of her having a step dad, just crushes me!!!

I can sure relate to this. Dylan and I are separating this week. I've already painted my new place and am basically just waiting for the power to come on before I actually move in.

I'm being advised to do a Plan B, but I've got real concerns about that. We've a son who is special needs (ADHD) and I feel like I have to decide between a Plan B (which might save the marriage) and just accepting the divorce and learning how to get along as co-parents so that we can provide good support for our son.

I don't think we will ever be 'friends', don't see how it can happen. Don't know if I'd want it to happen.

Like you, I'm crushed by the idea of a step-parent for my son. More crushed by the knowledge that he's being deprived of his God-given right to be tucked in by both parents each and every night...

***sigh***

Wish I had some good advice for ya. All I can offer is sympathy born of a personal understanding.

Take care,

John

I'm with you all. Life will go on, though.

I don't know how it happened, but I'm going to St Louis with my wife and her parents.

This could be horrible or maybe it's a chance at building a bridge.

I don't know, one side of me says that I finally did the right thing and made a stand, the other just wants to bury my head in the sand and try and ignore everything that she is doing.