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#1469720 09/09/05 12:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
H
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Posts: 396
Our MC gave Undo an assignment. She was to take a box and put the way she thinks people see her on the outside (using photos, clippings, etc.) and the way she feels about herself on the inside. By doing this it has caused extreme WD's and she is fighting the temptations right now.

I have asked her for ways that I can help by asking what some of the triggers are so we can see if we can avoid some of these. I know we can't avoid all of them, but avoiding some is better than none. I hope we can then try to tackle the rest together by using some of the advise you might have.

Please help.


Hopeful4future


The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.

BS: 40 (Me)
xFWW: 50
Married: 9/97
PA: 3 months
D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me)
Divorced: 10/2/2008
Happy that I've moved on
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033
K
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Hopeful,

""By doing this it has caused extreme WD's and she is fighting the temptations right now.""

WDs are withdrawal pains?? And what temptations is she fighting?? Contact?

k


CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
Krusht,

She told me her temptation is to break NC. She cried so much because she is afraid she won't be able to resist the temptation to call or see him.

She thought she was past the WD phase until she made the box. The box was filled with so many triggers that she now realizes she was never out of the WD phase. Now she is tempted to contact him.


Hopeful4future


The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.

BS: 40 (Me)
xFWW: 50
Married: 9/97
PA: 3 months
D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me)
Divorced: 10/2/2008
Happy that I've moved on
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975
J
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J Offline
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975
It is good that she told you about the WD. Tell her that. Tell her you want to hear about it when she is having problems and that you are there to help.

She can resist seeing him if *you* help her. Let her tell you about the stuff in the box. Go through the stuff she put in there and have her tell you about it. Let her tell you and listen to her. Don't judge her, understand her.

Listen to her...IMHO, she has stress when she thinks about "who she is" versus "who people thinks she is". She might be thinking that "with OM, I don't have to put on a charade," and thus it is easier with him.

You have to accept her for who she is. At the same time, she has to let you see her for who she is. Most likely, she has made a mountain out of mole hill.

Last edited by Jimmy Mac; 09/09/05 01:45 PM.

FWS Married: 1976 AS: 1991 D-Day: 1992 AE: 1993 Still married.

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