Bob
I just read about your success congratulations. Can you let me know where I can find out more about your story.

All the best, take care and enjoy

Hi NZgirl

Click HERE for my story. I bundled it up so the help I received might work for others who feel the same way.

Thanks Bob <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Bob,

A great point. As tough as figuring out Plan A or Plan B might be---the real tricky part is the early recovery phase! That's the most important part of the whole process to get right!!

God bless.

K

As Ghandi used to say " No sh1t, Sherlock ?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I am sat under a tree on a peaceful day after the war stopped - no fighting, no war, wildflowers started gowing where blood was spilled, sun in the sky, my baby at my side with NO FREAKIN' CLUE where to go next. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

But we'll get there.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Bob&Squid}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

What, for you, do you think is missing? You know, for us, recently, it was my inability to commit to forgiveness.

You seem to be in some kind of strange limbo. Maybe it's just some time to recover from the intensity of the fight. As an affair combatant, maybe it is part of the PTSD syndrome, with depression.

I have struggled many times in my life with severe depressions ("I've got my black dog, ever at my side"). It is easy to not notice you are depressed, until you realize that it colors the world in sepia, and the things that used to bring you joy no longer seem to.

Please don't get me wrong. I don't know. I just get the impression that something seems to be missing? What do you think?

Sincerely,
Swords

I hope you don't mind, but maybe now that the battle is won, you're just grieving the casualties of the war.

You're a big strong guy, maybe you just need to give yourself permission to grieve.

Again, what do I know?

Give Squiddy a (squidge) for me.

You two are some of my favorite people!

Who'd have thunk it, eh? (the eh was thrown in for my Canuk friends - hehe) We're a far cry from the puddleglumkins we were a year ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taking Squid out for lunch to celebrate your new strengths?

- Kimmy

- Kimmy

Bob - You're a darling man and your wife is a very lucky lady to have you by her side. Hope you only have happier anniversaries to celebrate for the rest of your lives. TT

Bob,
Congrats,I hope in three months when its been a yr.Iwillbe were you are.I am very happy and my FWH just keeps doing everything he cantomake me stay that way.We found a love you would'nt think exsisted.

I know you have many many years left of nothing but happiness.After what we been thru we deserve it.

#1mom

Strange, two things happened on the anniversary.

First I was railroaded into spending the evening with Squid at a Karate karaoke party. It wasn;t too bad, though not my scene really. I thin Squid's trying to show me that she is trustworthy at such events and trying to get me involved so I will enjoy it too.

Interesting.

Second, a small thing - Squid watches a soap opera called " EastEnders". I was reading th evening paper whiel she watched it. There was a fight beteen sisters who had both been seeing the same man - the H of one sister. There had not been a PA but the 'other' sister defended her EA as being 'deep and something special".

The betrayed sister said "You didn;t cross the line. Everything else can be fixed, but you sleep with someone else and that line is crossed. Its not fixable, because the betrayal is total and the opposite of the marriage vow."

I was uncomfortable listening to this so I let to check email in the other room. Squid said nothing.

A few minutes later, with the show still running Squid showed up nonchalently in the room I was in and touched my shoulder. Made small talk. Moped around the room uncomfortably a little, kissed me again and went back to the TV. She NEVER does this when a precious soap is on.

She must have recognised my disquiet and come to see I was alright. It was sweet.

Happy one year anniversary to us ! The work starts here ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Tough guys have good days too Bob. Enjoy em.

SS

Bob,

Well ya made it through that REALLY tough year! The FIRST one! Congratulations! That's the most difficult by far. Like I told you long ago, this recovery stuff ain't for sissies. It is undoubtedly the most diffcult thing I've ever been through in my life (and that's alot 'cause I'm really old! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> )

Now time to settle down and work on the plans for the rest of your marriage. How about printing up some new EN questionaires? Your needs do change as time goes by. And using your POJA, chart out some new courses and an exciting future!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So very, very happy for you, Bob. I so admire you.

Enjoy the day, and everyday !!

carnation