<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

((smooch))

back atcha, darlin'

all is well, married to a great lady. abbey is 9 and loving life.

my only suggestion on the boundaries issue is being total honest about everything. not what you were looking i bet, but that's it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Ceecee,

Dayum! Is this a bloody reunion thread, or what?!

I don't have any wise words for you Ceecee, just wanted to pop in and say "hola" to you and all the oldtimers.

Hope everyone is well and happy.

Love,
Jo

Hi ceecee,

Forgive me while I skip ahead and don't read the other responses for now.I will just address this post since it touched a nerve.

If I may say,I don't know if what you have been experiencing is the fact that you are "stuck".I believe it may be more of a reflection upon other's.

It has come to my attention over the recent years that this society we live in is very different than how I think it should be.Who am I to say? Well,I just think basic common courtesy and manners are becoming a lost art (internet plays I role I think).In the age of entitlement,we expect other's to pick up the slack instead of putting in the energy that we need and should be doing for our families and frienships and for other's.

The dinner scenario you described was one very similar to my own and in fact,I just left another message(the LAST one) to encourage this neighbor with 2 kids and who has also dealt with adultery,to come over and have dinner as she claims would "love to".

But what I have learned is if I am the one doing most of the work(or all of it) to maintain a relationship,I let it go because it's not right for me.I would never dream of not contacting a person right back,especially a friend,who called or e-mailed.I always do that day or the very next morning.I think it's so insenstive to keep people waiting like that.And not a good measure of your own sincerity if you let work and other issues become more important than those things that really are.

Also,the phrase "you get what you give".I don't believe that.Plenty of people are giving and doing a lot for their loved ones only to get *nothing in return.Again a reflection on takers and users instead of people who really care and appreciate what they have.

From reading your post,I think you are a caring person and are just confused by the lack of reciprocation from other's.I sometimes think what an outsider I am not to be like everyone else but then I am immediately struck back to reality and of what a good friend I am and a good person,considering other's feelings and not just looking out for myself,looking at the big picture and not just my own little slice of the world.If we all become selfish,reclusive,greedy,entitled takers who will make this world better? It's something my daughters and I discuss frequently.

Maybe you have a fear of letting go? This is what I conquered long ago and how I was able to get through my D proceeding and previous adultery situation with my STBXWH.It was so hard to let this toxic man go,my husband,my love,best friend.But I did.Removing toxic people from your life is very freeing I have found because as Dr.Phil's states, "I would rather be alone and healthy than sick and with someone". I think that can apply to anyone in your life: spouse,boss,friend,family member,etc.

Sorry if any of this was redundant.And you do make perfect sense.I get it! And I think you know what you need to do to make your life better in this respect(boundary patrol!).

O <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

[quote}all is well, married to a great lady. abbey is 9 and loving life.[/quote]
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
My daughter is 8 now and already thinks I'm a dork! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I can't wait until High School!


[quote]my only suggestion on the boundaries issue is being total honest about everything. not what you were looking i bet, but that's it.[/quote ]

I'll take what I can get!
You take care my friend. It's good to **see** you again!

Hi back atcha, Jo! Gosh, I was just thinking about you the other day, hoping that life was treating you the way you deserve!!

We've got another reunion thread going on over in EN....that's pulled out some real **old timers**

It's so nice to see old friends again, isn't it? Those that saw us at our worst and loved us anyway. What a bitter-sweet time....

Take care, sweetie. It's good to see you!

Hi Octobergirl (I'm an October baby myself!)

Thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts!


I think you hit the nail on the head here! I've done alot of introspective thinking since I first posted this and I DO think I'm a good friend...one that would never think of leaving someone I cared about in the dark, esp over something as simple as dinner! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


Wonderfully said! I couldn't agree more!


Again, I couldn't agree more! And for the most part, I am toxic-free! I do try to surround myself with postive, healthy individuals.

[quote]Sorry if any of this was redundant.And you do make perfect sense.I get it! And I think you know what you need to do to make your life better in this respect(boundary patrol!).[/quote}

Thank you! You're a sweetie! ((Octobergirl))

Nine years old! Man our babies have grown! So happy that you're doing well. I knew you would be! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Hey, Jo! How's it going? I was clearing out old stuff the other day and saw you in some old MB threads I had printed out. (I kept them, they were mostly funny!) Glad to hear from you.

Love ya!

Lori

*tiny threadjack, ceecee*

Hi Jo!! Hey, remember my frozen shoulder? It's *still* not 100%, but better. Thanks for all your suggestions about it!

*threadjack off*

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />