OK, here is the weekend update.

Fri-WH did not come home, did not call to tell me because he did not want to fught about it.

Sat-tells me he has packed a week's worth of clothes and will stay at hotel to think

Sun-NC, I tried to call at night to ask him "one lawyer or two"

Mon-We talk, he tells me that he did see OW Sat. I say I need three thing:NC contract, him to be in the home, and him to discuss his EN's with me. He said he has realized that since I was still hurt and angry 2 weeks after D-day, that I will never be able to get over this and he must move on. He can not spend the rest of his life having this thrown up in his face. I asked him to consider the possibility that since it has taken him longer than 2weeks to get over OW, it might take me longer than 2weeks also. I can get past this, I know I can. I just want to work together to prevent it.

OW knows which hotel he is at-he won't tell me and won't change hotels as he has prepaid. He is leaving a door open for her and closing the door on me.

I am trying to get all my facts together so I can expose fully in one big swoop.

selfish bump

Jean, it will do you no good to try and bargain or reason with him. The only thing he will understand is the smashing of this affair. Expose this affair, Jean. Do it right and do it completely. That will wake him up out this little dream world in which he exists. Get the OWH name and number and go pay him a visit. Then go home and call his boss, her boss, his parents, your parents, close friends.

Then we can work on a strategy to get him back. But until you start taking hits at the affair, it is all for naught.

I wish that I could tell you the next right move. I have opened the doors for my husband only to have him shut them. He told me three weeks ago that he "just wasn't getting his feelings back" after I had asked him to come back home and I wanted to try to make our marriage work. I thought I knew him and had complete trust that our marriage was the strongest of all our friends after 10 years of marriage, one beautiful daughter, and a baby boy on the way in November. I think that we would like to make their mind up for them, but they have to have the burning desire to make things work and put that above any other selfish need or desire they have. It isn't happened here, but I hope that your spouse is able to see things more clearly and do what is best for the family. Time will help rebuild and strengthen your marriage if you can both try now. I only wish that my husband could find it in his heart to try.

Jean36,

You are getting such good advice and MelodyLane is SO WISE. I hope you can follow through with what she is suggesting.

Although we are in Recovery from a LTA ourselves, I am often humbled by the patience and tenacity that many of the BS's show. I see much hope in your M.

You know you are dealing with an Alien. Exposing the A to the light of day is critical at this point. I would hate to see you wasting your energy in the wrong direction.

To keep yourself motivated, think of your children (this worked for me). The best thing for them would be to have stability in their lives.

Keep us posted!

exposure .... use the big guns early on in the process to bring the A to it's knees ....