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I don't mind, FL. Really it helps me to have someone else's perspective. As I said to Gio, you live in such a messed up reality for so long it is good to come here and have someone shake things up and see things in a new perspective. Love ya!
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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I will double check with my attorney but he told me WH has to move out once the D is final. FF...I've been thinking about this and I really do think he should move out NOW. He is a procrastinator. He needs this dose of reality. He needs to get a good taste of the results of his actions before the divorce. After all the pain you have suffered, he needs to be inconvenienced. This is all too easy for him. Who cares where he finds to sleep, just get him out of your house. Let him feel the consequences of what he has done! Susan
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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I just love Susan's advice !!!!
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.... let him go mooch off da'kooze .... give them a full dose of each other
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I mean .... if he's gonna be this 'great Dad' to OC ... might as well start with 2 AM feedings, right?
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Yep, exactly Pep.
Otherwise I think he goes through this divorce thinking "hey this may not be so bad. I am getting out from under all of this responsibility. She has put up with it so far so I might just be able to convice FF to let me live here too. Maybe nothing much is gonna change"
You see?
Susan
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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Otherwise I think he goes through this divorce thinking "hey this may not be so bad. I am getting out from under all of this responsibility. She has put up with it so far so I might just be able to convice FF to let me live here too. Maybe nothing much is gonna change"
You see? You must have been in my subconscious this morning Sus. Cuz I woke up and thought "hey! there goes WH leaving for his fun today and tomorrow, leaving me with the kids again without ever (again)saying anything to me in advance. Just confidently knowing that FF will be there to take care of the kids, the house, the cleaning, the laundry, the shopping, the animals blah blah blah" My next thought Sus and Pep was "why am I doing this?" He is still in C with OW. He is still actively a WS. Yes he loves me but a selfish kind of love not the kind I give to him. Hmmm...he has never (thanks to moi)suffered the consequences of his actions. I am getting there ladies. I am thinking of putting off the actual D a short bit for financial reasons but let me work on getting the guy outta here. I like your thinking, BTW
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Cuz I woke up and thought "hey! there goes WH leaving for his fun today and tomorrow, leaving me with the kids again without ever (again)saying anything to me in advance. Where is he going? This is very important!
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He went to a motorcycle swapmeet with his buddy. Tomorrow is more of the same. Then he will work either this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon after the swapmeet.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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BTW, if I had bothered to look at our fridge the flyers with the dates of these events would have been available to me. I just keep expecting him to "talk" to me about stuff they way I do to him.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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He went to a motorcycle swapmeet with his buddy. Tomorrow is more of the same. Beat him out the door tomorrow. Set a very early alarm. get out ...leave a note. "Gotta go do early errands. Make sure kids have breakfast. Clean clothes in dryer. Thanks for helping out.
I'll be back around noon.
FF"no asking or pre-warning him give him a dose return after 2 PM I'm serious. he'll move out quicker if you put him into the responsible seat PLEASE !!!!
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This is non-POJA consequences !
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WH ... "HEY! No fair. You didn't tell me you were going to leave me here with the kids."
FF... "Oh. Sorry."
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Well I can't really pull that one off as he is out the door at 4:30 am. However in thinking more about this...DD is a big help with DS so perhaps DD and I ok to dinner and a movie leaving WH to care for my DS who happens to have a cold. No warning but when he comes home we leave with a see ya later. Make sure DS gets fed and gets his meds.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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I just keep expecting him to "talk" to me about stuff they way I do to him. Now FF, why would you set yourself up for certain disappointment? Is it because the little seed of that thought in your mind just sits back there and never germinates in your consciousness enough?? Or are you fully aware? If you are, please don't let these traps be set for you. GC
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Is it because the little seed of that thought in your mind just sits back there and never germinates in your consciousness enough??
Or are you fully aware? If you are, please don't let these traps be set for you. Well you know the saying around here GC about doing things the same over and over and expecting different results? That has been me. I cannot get that "do unto others" outta my stubborn head when it comes to my WH.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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OK
WH gets to 'play' Saturday while you watch kids.
YOU get to play Sunday while WH watches kids.
If WH wants to go out to swapmeet Sunday ... he takes kids with him coz he's a "good father".
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If you don't make it clear NOW that he is ~equally~ responsible to his children of the marriage ... good luck trying to establish a precedent later on ...
Last edited by Pepperband; 09/24/05 12:26 PM.
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And here I thought the Sgt. misspelled "precedent" intentionally.
GC
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
no not intentional ... but I did spell the other sort of president correctly
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