I am in RebornMan's camp on this matter (not to mention his general neighborhood - does that mean you like me, too, Karona? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />). I feel that I've already been through the worst that a loved one can do to me, and since I know that with God's help I survived it once, I know I could do it again if necessary. There's no longer even a fear of the unknown.

Oh, and on the matter of comparing "physical pain to heart ache," I found that I came out of my divorce experience with a greater tolerance for physical pain. It's all about perspective.

Gnome,
I have read your replies and thought you seem like a good guy, now I know where your from, and Yep, I like ya!!

As far as physical pain to heart ache, I'll take the physical. This heart stuff is tuff!!

I read your response to FR. Wow, I remember reading your posts concerning this lady some time ago. She must be a real keeper!

K!

Alright GDP....I guess it is a Ohio convention in here...whats your general location brutha?

And how are those Browns??

K!

ROTFLMAO!!

Thanks K, that was funny. I'm actually feeling a little closer to finalizing the divorce (hopefully not wishful thinking). I met with my lawyer and accountant last week to draw up a new final offer. We added 10% to the property values to head off another attempt by WH to get new appraisals (which, if history repeated itself, would take at least another 6 months for him to actually do). I would give him 1/2 what I owe him up front and then pay him the rest at 6% interest amortized over 10 years with a balloon payment in 5 years. This will provide him an income since he doesn't seem interested in working. My accountant thinks it's a very fair offer and I get to keep all the remaining property as well as the business.

Since we were writing about our not-so-recent-break-ups, the only new development in my life is my MIL died of Alzheimer's. Her friends, her niece (the one for whom WH and I were legal guardians), and I had a memorial service for her. DN and her 3-year old son were the only blood relatives who attended. It just re-emphasized what a weird family WH's really is. I was very close to MIL and she seems to have been the linchpin of the family as everyone fell apart after she developed Alzheimer's. Everyone except DN, who actually seems to be doing better. She wasn't close to her grandmother but she is the most like her in many ways, including appearance.

There's my update to you. Have you continued with the golf lessons? I gave up the jitterbug class - too awkward without a partner. I feel like you about pursuing men and I, too, live in an area where it's hard to meet men (is it ever easy at 54?). BTW, since you're all talking about where you live, I was born in NYC, grew up in CT, and have lived almost 2/3 of my life in CA.

I still read here, but haven't had much to contribute since I'm basically sitting in limbo, not divorced and not dating. There are so many good people here who've been through so much and I pray that, in God's time, we'll all find the love and happiness we so deserve.

I have never heard of it...but then again there are alot of winerys up that way. here is their website

http://www.johnsonwinery.com/

Alluring, Yep, that's it!
That whole area up that way, from Geneva Ohio, past you I guess is all about it.

When I visit my sister who lives near Geneva, OH, we visit a winery usually. Just a neat atmosphere.
Thanks for sending that through!

LT~~~

So you liked that?! I guess I should have said, that your married to, as I'm sure he wasn't an animal when you married him. But, you got the point!! I'm glad you laughed!

The offer sounds pretty "sound" to me. OH how I hope he sees this as something he can't refuse. I just can never get with a man that doesn't want to work. And you, for all you have been through pulling this company through and up the way you have, all the while dealing with the health and personal issues. Your a strong woman LT!
Keep me posted please.

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. That illness is so sad. So, your saying, her own son didn't come? Disgusting!

So your not dancing anymore?! I understand. I guess you're not able to try out your moves so, it seems pointless. But, maybe one day you will have a partner to take the lessons with! And that will be more fun for you.
And I as well have not taken anymore lessons.
I don't even own clubs. That game is so involved and such a mind game to me. I enjoyed it, but it's serious. I would like to give it a try again, and hopefully will someday.

You know, when we talked before, for some reason, I had you pegged for TN or GA, but never CA! I don't know why I had that thought, funny! You went far from home didn't you?

I kind of went through a short period here where nothing seemed to stand out to me, but lately there has been more threads that have caught my attention.
The people here have sometimes unknowingly brought me through some dark hours, and it's been my social life many times. {pretty pathetic, but none the less, true}

Take care, and please keep me posted,
K!

She would be, if I had her to keep.

Honestly, she's by no means perfect in the universal sense...if there could be a universal sense. She has traits which would drive some men crazy. I just happen to be the other sort of man who finds those traits delightful. (And yes, I've taken into account the difference between actually living with someone and just being friends.)

C'mon, RebornMan...a gnome has to have some secrets! It's dangerous for a mythological creature to reveal its lair.

Browns? Sorry, I don't follow basketball.

That good eh??

huh, a kept woman???? [just kidding there]

So, delightful traits that would drive other men crazy, there you have it, only a gnome knows!

K!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is scary to put your heart out there, but what is the alternative? To live without a partner? That is even scarier to me. We have to take a chance and learn to trust our judgement. Learn to trust yourself, your instincts and putting your hear out won't be quite so scary.

JE~

I'm thinking, if I could just remove my heart from the whole scenario, until I see fit to put it in there, I would be all set!

K!

Now K - could you honestly do that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

FR

It was a thought Fish! A darn good one too!

Don't you do that when you date with "no expectations"?

This sorts fits this conversation... what do you think of this, Karona?

I just went on a 2nd date yesterday with a guy that wants to take things very slowly. Start "as friends". I'm unsure... because I feel no "sparks"... but I think 1 reason is because he's holding back and taking things so slowly emotionally. He's 38 and never been married, and we've had a couple of conversations trying to identify "why" he's never been married... and have danced around the idea that he's always "friends" and afraid to take the leap to something more. Is he ready now? Who knows? But dating with no expectations, or to start "as friends", is a way to protect your heart until you're ready. When you're ready, you'll know.

" but what is the alternative? To live without a partner? That is even scarier to me."

Why JE? Why does this scare you so much? Do you not understand that you must overcome this fear before you will make someone a suitible partner?