We were HS sweethearts, married 15 years, and have two wonderful children (6 & 10). It has been a good M (before her recent rewriting), but not perfect. I work too much and have not met her ENs over the past years. She says I put our kids and my work before her, which has been true.
8 months ago she starting having EA w/ OM over phone. About same time, I encouraged her to have a one night PA with another woman we met in a bar (no swinging, but close with all 4 of us in the same room). Then her EA with OM went to PA. She now claims it only happened twice a few months back. She claims there is no connection between the lesbian one night affair and her PA with OM whatsoever.
D-day was 8/6; then retraction after I confronted OM and he convincingly denied it; 2d D-day was 8/13. Since then, I’ve been reading lots on this site and other posts. I’ve been trying to avoid LBs, but have done many. I’m doing better now. She says PA has been over for at least two months and she wanted it to end. She now says she’s very remorseful, sorry, hates herself, says she made a mistake, loves me, wants our M, etc.. We’ve been to MC, but both were not happy with it. It’s been so painful. Sometimes, I just cry uncontrollably for hours.
There’s lots of talk here about exposure to family and others, but I don’t know that’s necessary in my case. She says affair is OVER and I know OM has no wife or girlfriend. I want to believe my WW, but still have doubts about extent of the PA. I want to build our M, particularly for sake of kids. But I can’t help but wonder how I’ll know if she told me everything, still wants to see OM, different OM or different OW? I work all day, and she’s a stay at home mom. Any insights are appreciated.