Nope.
She does not need validation of all the reasons why she gave up on him.
She needs to hear that having an affair is the worst possible way to solve your problems.

Lexxxy- Mort-
I'm reading.. You are not invisible. I did not read your last post before I started in on my latest update which was pretty much a history lesson tied to my thoughts.

I do agree with you. If she wants a divorce test drive I can not do that. I will not do that...
Thank you for the way to word it so I can justify my posistion. I will go back and read your words again.

You are so right. Reinforce ideas of saving our marriage rather than ways to end it.
No anger, no yelling, positive future... I tell myself this over and over everything I speak to her.
Everytime she drills me for my past failures, I applogize and tell her of what I'm doing to now. The changes now that i believe will change the future.

WW just sent me to email from her work. Suppose to no be emailing?

COPY:
9:52
wanted to remind u that EX-sister in law is picking up daughter today- tomorrow & wednesday of this week from school.
U probably knew that though. I'm sure daughter informed u, I just wanted to be sure.
thanks-

10:02
I will get daughter from Ex-SIL's (if that is ok w/ u) & then we were going to go to the mall for a bit--please let me know if that is ok-

I called her at 11:52.
Asked what's up. She said, working. I said, I got your email, did you try to call me, I thought you were not suppose to email?
She says, no I'm buys here and sent the email anyway I don't care.
There was some silence. She said, what is it you have to say to me. I said, It sounds like you dont want to talk to me. She says, well i just wanted to make sure it is okay that I go look for some shoes with Ex-SIL and daughter after work? I said, Okay..Of course you can. She has swim team from 6 to 8. She says, I will take her if that is okay, and you pick her up.
I said, you can pick her up if you want. She says, I will tell her you will be picking her up. I said, Okay. She says, bye..

I don't understand this approach of hers or what she is doing.

Dont see any problem with it. Nothing he wrote there justifies adultery...or even divorce, for that matter. So, it should not hurt him in court.

But I agree with Lexxxy. Right now, he needs to stay on message. he is trying to bust up that affair...shine light on it. Even if true, she doesnt need any further justification for the things she is doing. That is why if she says "Well, Daxed you did this or that...", Dazed comes back and says "Sure I did that and I am sorry...but the point is that we can have the marriage we always wanted..." and so on.

He needs to stay on message. The affair is the elephant in the room. By staying on message, he slays the elephant. No negative talk. Positive on the future...and hard o nthe affair.

In His arms.

First of all, about the "no e-mailing."
She either lied before or she's lying now. You can believe very little of what she says. She may have been trying to cut down on the ways you could communicate to her. Maybe your previous e-mails were hitting too close to home? Whatever the reason, she either lied then or now. Doesn't really matter, except for you to start realizing how little you can trust her.

Next, she's trying to eliminate family time -- she's trying to normalize co-parenting. That you can get along and both be good parents, doesn't mean you have to be together. Wants to get you used to the idea so you stop being so hard on her about staying together.

Please tell me that you have some kind of documentation or journal on all the events she's missed -- like the swim meet.

Please also tell me that you have followed the advice on getting background info on OM. This will not be information you release to her -- but let it come through the attorney. When you met with OM's wife did she give you any further background?

One tip on your mantra -- "Everytime she drills me for my past failures, I applogize and tell her of what I'm doing to now. The changes now that i believe will change the future. " add -- "that will either benefit you or whoever else I end up with." She needs to start thinking about the possiblity of a Step-mom who will replace her. Be confident that you will be a good partner to any future wife.

TRUST ME -- this was one of my greatest concerns!!! That if I left, my H (who was becoming the one he should have been all along) would be this great catch and he would end up with a better woman than me (which is easy to picture when you are feeling lousy about yourself for having an affair). I started picturing my kids with my EX and his new wife -- HAPPY. And it really disturbed me. Meanwhile, I knew in my heart how ugly OM was on the inside, and I knew my kids would know that. And that I would lose them.

Dazed, this is the absolute truth and you need to listen VERY closely to this!! Lexxxy has been in the fog, she knows what motivated her and what hurt her there. This is EXACTLY what you are trying to do. But you dont do it by telling her, or educating her. You do it by being the man you should be, by confronting the affair straight on...and by staying on message.

You need to believe in the rightness of what you are doing. You are right...you are doign right. Thus, you have nothign to worry about nor be ashamed of. Your wife, on the otherhand...

Lexxxy is giving you some very valuable insight into your wife's world...inside her head. Listen to her. She used to be your wife.

You are doing great. Just keep tweaking your plan and stay on course. Do not be diverted by anyone or anything. You are now in a win-win situation. All your wife can do is win (come home and be herself again) or lose (lose everything that means anything to her).

In His arms.

Lexxxy-
emailing was a great method of communication to her. We wrote back and forth five six times a day. Many times what I wrote would directly hit home. Often she would break down and call me after reading a message from me.

I'm working on the background on OM. His wife gave me a ton of stuff a while back. All the character stuff about him. She may be helpful in the future but not sure. She was really reluctant to want to become involved now. She kept saying she is just glad its over with him and is so ready to move on. However, I had to end our conversation and she kept asking me about him and her. This with her boy friend waiting for her in the house. I would say she can still be a big help.

If I could have teamed up with her early on exposing his true colors would have been easier. I mentioned to her if she had tape recorded him threatening her and physically pushing her around she could have really got him. Hinting to see if she had done any of that. She said, she just did not think or know what to do. She has told me a million times she should have came to me in April when she found out. I forgive her for that. It's just another one of those deals that has all worked against me.

I know WW is or was interested to prove those character flaws I gave her on a list of paper about him. WW called his wife three times to talk to her about it.

I have a rough journal of what she has missed and not done as a mother. I need to set down with a calendar and finalize it.

Lexxxy--- I ask you to speak from your experience and outside look at my sitch.
What do you think will have the biggest impact in my effort to save my wife?
Do you think even if the divorce goes final she would come back?
How hard was it for you to swallow your pride, and decide to try to walk that scaring, painful path back to your husband?
I see this being my wife biggest challange. She said, she is scared to face her guilt. That is why she wants out of the house right now.
She thinks this guilt will block her from every feeling comfortable with me.
She is worried that this horrible year combined with our past will not allow her to ever fall back in love with me on a free and fun level.
How did you get this right in your mind? Was it an all at once rush that just snapped and you new what you had to do or was it a slow transistion of doing what was right, with drawl from your love and re-connectiing to your husband.

Then I have to convince her I'm for real and the future with me will be so much better than before. I believe this but selling her has been so hard.

Then through in all the bad help she has been given. She has no one telling her to stay but me. The OM, my ExSIL her one or two new friends that only now me by her stories.
I wish she had a person or place to talk to that has people that have stood in her shoes and have went down both paths towards OM and or Husband.

At times she has agreed to council but trusting me to give that person would be tricky. I set her up with Steve Harley and she still bashes me about that. I have mentioned the talking to a woman that stood in her shoes, and she has said she would like to talk to one that choose the way home.
My ExSIL is the only one she can ref and she took the OM in her life. NOT what I want her to do..

My wife has many good qualities but being a decisive person she is not. She runs from pressure and challanges. She takes the easy way out if at all possible.
I believe she thinks the easy way out is a divorce. A NEW LIFE.. Is the illusion in her head. Her quote: "I want to drive 100mph and let all my problems and history with you fly out the window". The thing she don't realize is that will not happen even if she's with the OM.
How do I get her to wake up and see this before its too late?
Every one I have spoke to about this all says her relationship with him will either fail or she will learn suffer just as or more than before. I mean everyone sees this but her...
Harley says he is just a prop. An illusion of what she wants in you. I know this. However, the prop is what is coming between me and her belief of us.

Lexxxy- I have always believed if she give me that oppourtunity to prove it, we will have the fairy tale ending. It's just getting her to open her heart back up to me.
Do you think at the course I'm on she will stop before the divorce is final. She has lost it all. She experieces life with this slim ball.
Even then look at the rope she gave me. Who's to say see would ever be able to call me and as to come back. I'm have often thought if it goes final. She ends up with him. She would allow herself to suffer much more than with me before ever coming back.
I know that's why I have to show her the path and make it look good.
I almost think he has to prove himself the loser I think he is very soon for her to ever come back.

She woke me up one night around 3AM. This 3 weeks afte D-Day when we were opening talking about all this on a regular bases.
BS--- I just had an awful nightmare. I said, tell me about it. She says, Okay... Me and you had divorced. I was at the mall shopping when I seen you with your new wife. You looked so happy. I asked how you were doing. You said, great and looked it too. You said, and you. I smiled my best and said me too. Knowing the entire time that my life was aweful and I regreted every day with out you. I just could not find it in me to tell you that. You walked away happy and I stood there crying.

Maybe I'm just getting all caught up in her stories, but part of me believes that she would do just that.

I need to get away from all this for a while. I have done nothing today but stew over this.
At lunch I looked online at her bank statements and credit cards. She had told me she paid for the attourney and divorce filing with her Capital one card. The balance on the card is zero. I figured...I bet OM paid for it.

Thanks again for your help.
I will take your advice. I just needed somewhere to vent today. This has been one of those days where I'm losing hope. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

This is why your marriage is NOT over with.

In His arms.

Dazed --
All of those thoughts and fears are already working on her.
Look at that dream she told you about -- its the exact scenario that I described!

The best strategy for you is to keep those thoughts working. Let her see the strong new you, committed to being a great husband and father.

Dazed -- so many BS's are afraid of Plan B -- but I am its greatest supporter! Plan B is where the WW feels everything slipping away. She loses control of the timeline, she loses control of the BS, and in your case she'd be losing control of her daughter too. Thats a lot to lose.

Dazed -- Plan A pissed me off, to put it frankly. It fueled my anger toward my husband. All these things that I begged for for years were suddenly available. I resented it. After I had destroyed my character/values/morals....THEN he wants to be a decent husband. Its like begging for a brake job on your car -- having a major accident -- then he fixes it for you. Too late.

Personally -- I think its great that your daughter is tough on her. I'm glad your daughter has the strength to confront her. I hope she continues telling Mommy that she will have NOTHING to do with OM and that she hates him.
Thats strong stuff for a mom to deal with.

I hope you have the strength to continue helping your wife. I know its so hard to not let your emotions take over when you think about her with OM.

But please understand that this has very very little to do with OM. OM could be "anyone." She was vulnerable, and you are very very fortunate that she found a scummy one. That is going to work in your favor.

More later!

Update-
WW brought daughter by to pick up cloths to spend the night at her cousins house. I would normaly not go for it on a school night, but I thought I agreed daughter could use a night away. Heck I could to.

WW came in with daughter and only wanted to stand in the entry. Gave me some really dirty looks about the stereo being on and up load.
I turned it down and she said, I would have disagreed but who am I? I don't count any longer. She walks into the kitchen. I said, WW... The woman I new would have never said that. The woman I new was a great mother that would never wanted to think of not counting in her daughters life. She said, I do want to count. I wanted it to be fair, 50/50. You are the one that don't want me to be a mom going for full custody.
I said, The woman I new would have neer even wanted to be a 50% mother, or believe in divorce.
She said, funny... You never thought of me a woman. I said, what... Oooookkkkkaaaaayyyy.
She said, you are just trying to control me. Control the situation by forcing full custody on me just to get me to stay with you... It's to late for us... You are too late. Don't you get it? I said, WW.. Custody is not about you and control. Its about our daughter. She says, yeah right.. what ever....
I said, I'm not trying to control nothing... I do believe it is never too late as you say. She says, Yes, you have told me a million times...yeah, it is...
You still have not helped me to understand this and make it make sense. How is what your doing right?
She said, I ask myself about why you did not want to be with me for so long. Why a thing ment more to you than me. I will never understand. WHY.
I said: yes, I was wrong, but that don't make divorce and your actions right. She says, well it's too late..

She went into the bath room and I was in the dinning room sorting through bills. She stops in the door way a few minutes later. I ask, so what's the deal on the two weeks thing that you wanted to talk about when you got home? She rolled her eys, and said, what's it matter now. I don't know. She walked back into the entry way to wait on daughter.

See what a day of OM's toxins does for me......
Okay, I see her conceding full custody to me. All ready working on how to spin me into this bad guy for it.
I doudt I will she her again tonight. Daughter is not here. She went the entire week end with out contact from OM. I bet there is no way she comes back tonight.
Her curling iron and stuff is here but, ****** I bet she will show up when there done around 1 or 2 AM...
I don't know if I will let her in if that happens....
What do I do....

spewing spin and blame...that's what she is doing..she is again angry and ATTEMPTING TO MANIUPLATE you to feel sorry for her...for your doing right thing and going for full custody...

and the part of you not knowing she was a woman? Well you did at some point figure that part out didn't you? I mean you have offspring???? I would say that back to her...pure fog idiotic babble!

she is angry and she is mad b/c you aren't letting her have that shiny new toy in the window of the toys r us...yea, she's behaving like a child.

You NEED A PI when she off and leaves like this...have the PI tail the ww and show where she goes when she leaves your house...that she comes and goes just to please the courts..not b/c she is your wife.

you're getting close I fear to losing love for her.

ask the harleys when to B...i think it is looming. she is getting even more toxic and angry.

om is indeed feeding her a line of bull. hold your ground.

carrot and stick.

carrot and stick. memorized it yet? and please find toomuchcoffeeman's thread on the 180 divorcebusting techniques.

I'd add in the 180 techniques at this point btw!

she is angry..goading you..following you around the house...trying to say or do anything to get you mad enough to LET her have what she wants!

and you love her enough still yet to say NO!

That is key.

praying for ya.

keep the faith. plan A until you feel it's time for B...call and get help from harleys btw! and get the PI after the OM...and ww...and get some testimony from OMXW...you CAN have her subpoenae'd...even as a hostile witness if you have to btw...perfectly legal! She'd be forced to give testimony about her xh or if she lies, it's perjury time.

I know this...if I have any more serius dealings with my xh, I will subpoena his present ow/w and she will be forced to testify about his affair this summer, his abandoning at times of my son, his recreational drug use (exctacy)and his abusive behavior. I keep it all in my back pocket.

You need to whip that out though...time is now! no playing games. OM needs to be exposed (the tsunami of truth) biiiiig time!

He's a liar, cheat, and a perv...who does NOT deserve to be around any children. Your ww is close enough acting like a child anyway right now...her around him is bad enough.

and yes, he's a problem..

but SHE is also a problem too...please see it.

she is playing "it is NOT my fault...I can do all this and get away with it b/c my xh did not meet all my en's thus I was FORCED against my will to go out and have and illicit affair and rip my family apart"...

if you believe that, then go along with her...pity her...

I say do not. be very loving and plan A...but tough in your boundaries and knowing when to use the carrot...and the stick...and somewhere inbetween adding the 180 divorcebusting tips...

THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS:
I agree about the PI. Actually an old class mate I grew up with back home is doing PI work when he not working for the drug task force unit.
I'm tring to get him lined up to help me out. I also have several contacts with the local police and courts that I can have do some legal back ground work on him. I think he has been able to avoid any real legal issues because of his parents and ex-wife. He did have really bad credit at one time. His wife paid off his 20k on plastic to avoid him filing bankruptcy. See what a guy he is. Stiffs the poor girl for 11k during the divorce to boot.

I found out where the WW's temporary house options are at. I will have someone drive by with a camera and look for her car and OM's if shes not here by 10PM.

Peach- I am getting really tired of hurting. When she comes home with a sledge hammer to my heart, how can I not hurt. The worst part of it is, I am not ready for her to leave. I know it's coming. I am really trying to get my mind prepaired for it. At this point, I don't know if I can be prepared for it. Just sleeping alone has been so hard to get used to. Obviously she can't get used to it either. Just look at how she places the pillows around her.
Yes, I am needy... How could I not be. There is just no way around it.
I am 33 years old. For 15 years this woman has been there for me as my friend, girl friend, lover, wife, childs mother. We grew up together. We were each other first love and lover. Of course I am scared.
If she did not have the prop there for her, she could not do this either.

I have to admit its hard. To tell you the truth this all goes against what I thought I would do if this ever happened. What she thought to.
I figured I would have lost it. Went over and drug that guy out side and beat him into a bloody pile of spit. I want to. At times I wish I did. She thought I would to.
That may be my only regret at the end of this. Yah, it probably sounds like a man. But, I feel like a man should the living crap out of another man for doing this to his family.

I know i did this to myself. If you read my post from today you know.
At this point I am really second guessing everything I have done.... Exposure to plan A all of it. I think if I had studied up before losing it and confronting her things may have been different.
The affair had matured so long I don't know if anything would change were I'm at today.

DAZED....

Are you there? Take a DEEEEP breath..... now another......

If you're there LMK... THANKS FRANK

I'm here.
She was at her future temporary home. With the woman that lives there and OM. My friend drove by for me and seen there vehicles. Next time I will have pictures of all of them.

She came home around 10PM.
Setting very silent on the couch watching tv. CSI Just so happens to be where a man's WW is killed in her home. BS spouse is accused. BS turns up dead.
Don't worry... I would never harm my wife...
What a show for two people divorcing to watch alone together. lol
Dazed

DAZED....

Don't panic.... NOTHING HAS CHANGED DRASTICALLY from yesterday....

I don't want you to think I'm nagging you here but....
YOU HAVE TO STOP REACTING AND DEBATING with her.....

Let's try and fine tune this a little....
If you are going to do a Plan "A" you have to play by the rules.....

AND I KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS....BUT YOU CAN DO IT!!

You can always go into Plan "B" if /when she leaves (Which I doubt if she EVER wants custody)

Here's what I see as wrong if you're doing a Plan "A" :


[color:"purple"] WW: She said, I do want to count. I wanted it to be! fair, 50/50. You are the one that don't want me to be a mom.
[/color]
[color:"blue"] YOU: I said, The woman I new would have want to be a 50% mother, or believe in divorce. [/color]

[color:"red"] WHISTLE.... TIME OUT....
LOVE BUSTER!!!
DISRESPECTFUL JUDGMENT.....
PENALTY....ONE STEP BACKWARDS. [/color]

[color:"green"] BETTER PLAN "A" response..... [/color]

WW... I love you.... I want EVERYTHING for you... you are the BEST MOM in the world .......that's why I'm so confused that you would even settle for 50% when you could have 100% and a GREAT Marriage which is BETTER for DD....


[color:"purple"] WW: She says, Yes, you have told me a million times...yeah, it is... (too late)
[/color]

[color:"blue"]YOU: "You still have not helped me to understand this and make it make sense. How is what your doing right?"
[/color]
[color:"red"] WHISTLE.... TIME OUT....
LOVE BUSTER.... DISRESPECTFUL JUDGMENT......
PENALTY....ONE STEP BACKWARDS.
[/color]

[color:"green"] BETTER PLAN "A" response..... [/color]

And I will tell you that another million times because the NEW me understands marriage so much better now....I love you and I have changed and that change is PERMANENT.... I didn't change for you.... I changed for ME.... because I want to be the BEST PERSON I can be.... and the best HUSBAND if you give me the chance!!



[color:"purple"] WW: She said, I ask myself about why you did not want to be with me for so long. Why a thing ment more to you than me. I will never understand. WHY.
[/color]

YOU: I said: yes, I was wrong, but that don't make divorce and your actions right.

[color:"red"] WHISTLE.... TIME OUT....
LOVE BUSTER.... DISRESPECTFUL JUDGMENT......
PENALTY....ONE STEP BACKWARDS.
[/color]


[color:"green"] BETTER PLAN "A" response..... [/color]

I NEVER didn't want to be with you... I just never understood that your needs weren't being filled....and even if I knew..... I wouldn't have known how to fill them..... NOW I DO KNOW... I have learned SOOO much.....and by learning what I have learned..... I love you I need and I appreciate ALL THE GREAT THINGS YOU WERE DOING BEFORE MORE than I can express. I appreciate how lucky I am to have you as my W and how safe I felt that you are the mother of my daughter..... (notice how I said FELT)


See DAZED.... no arguement...no judgement to make her feel guilty...no anger....just LOVE.....just HOPE....

Love busters set you back..... love deposits send you foward...
Yes... she sees OM.. and you're one step back.... you DON'T love bust you go two steps forward.... she sees OM you go one step back.... you don't love bust you go two steps forward.... she sees OM and your one step back BUT.....IF YOU LOVE BUST.... YOU ARE TWO STEPS BACK!! Get it...

It's a LONG process... BUT IT WORKS... you have the control over how fast it works... no love busters.... you'll get there faster....

Email me and we can talk on the phone....... qualitycanvas@hotmail.com

Good Luck & Prayers.... FRANK

Sorry, Please Help, but your a little off base here. I thought Dazed follow Mortarman's directions pretty closely....and Mortarman is dead on in his advice. After all, he successfully recovered his marriage from the brinks...Dazed, I'd be hanging on Mortarman's every word and following it to a "T".

BB

Frank -- Dazed did EXACTLY what I recommended him to do.
And I applaud all of your responses Dazed! They were dead-on target.

Frank -- read one of my earlier posts to him.

Dazed is there anyone in your family that will reach out to her? Maybe let her know that she is still part of the family.
What are the Thanksgiving plans? Could she still be invited? She will likely choose not to be there, but the invitation will mean something to her.

And Dazed -- instead of saying "doesn't make your actions right" say "doesn't make your AFFAIR right" Use the affair word as MANY times as you can.

dazed...

I agree...Lexxy is giving you some really valuable advice. One of the things that just drove me crazy when I was at the "zig or zag" moment was the imagining her with another man/H. This is where she is right now. She knows she has to zig or zag. When I was there and I think Lexxy might agree, it just kills you. You think of all the wonderful things about the other life and I wanted to drive straight to the other city and begin "another life". Then you think about all you are leaving. Then back to the first thought. It really sucked. That dream she told you about (if it was true) really indicates to me that she is battling with this also. She may have even had more of these dreams since then but is afraid to tell you about them.

I think you have decided against the two week thing. That is a good decision. You do not need to condone her leaving for legal reasons and it just isn't good for you or your D.

I think you need to back off on the physical contact and gifts (even breakfast or lunch). Everything you DO just reminds her of things you DIDN'T do back then. Just be strong and independent. But not controlling. Invite her to events (swim team) but if she says no just say ok, we'll have fun anyway.

Don't turn things you talk about into arguments. I am not sure what tone of voice you had/she had when you were talking about the 50/50 and the "the woman I knew...". I think you just need to be firm on what you believe (i.e., no 2 week trial) and say it. Don't raise your voice. Let her know that you still want her around but don't be needy.

I am running through all the things like Lexxy is doing that helped get me out of the fog. The most important thing is the NC. It is really the ONLY way. That is why I tried to suggest a vacation or something. Plan a trip to Disney or something for a week with the D and ask her to come. Tell her she can come if she leaves cell phone at home. You HAVE to get her away from him. He pollutes her mind and it is almost as if you start over from square one when she sees him.

Sorry if this was rambling, but if you have any specific questions for a FWS (even if it is a H and not a W), I will be happy to answer them.

I think you are on the right track. Just try to get her as far away from the OM as you can.

SNT

Frank,

I might agree these were lovebusters under some other circumstances. But where he is at right now, it is VERY important that he not give credence to the affair. The affair is the enemy.

While I liked what you said Frank in responding to what she said about Dazed (as in him accepting responsibility for his actions prior to the affair and talking about the changes he has made), I also believe that the stick part of the carrot/stick Plan A is that he continues to call a spade a spade when it comes to her actions. It is not a lovebuster to say the affair is wrong and must end. That is not a disrespectful judgment. It is not wrong for him to point out to his wife that it is not right for his wife to want to accept only 50% of the time with his daughter.

When I was in my Plan A, I harped o nthat one a lot. I told my wife "Mrs. Mortarman, even if we get 50-50 custody, that means yo uwill miss out on half of the rest of their childhood. That means our youngest son (who was 5 at the time), will not be around his Mom half of the next 13 years. Mrs. Mortarman, that means you will not be a part of over 6 of the next 13 years of his life!! I cannot believe you would accept that. I dont accept that and will fight to make sure that I am a part of everyday of their lives..." And so on.

Steve Harley once told me that having kids in a marriage that is beset with an affair is an advantage. The fact that I had the kids was an increased incentive...and he was so right! By having the kids, it gave me a better case for permanent custody. Which also by getting primary custody, helped wake up my wife!

But what else does it do when Dazed tells his wife that it is wrong for her to want to only be a small part of her daughter's life? What does that do to Mrs. Dazed?

You see, Mrs. Dazed goes back to a life with OM...or moves out permanently to be with OM. But she cant escape the thoughts. She cant escape the pull back to her daughter...to her family. Those comments will weigh heavily on her, as Lexxxy has said. She will not ever be happy in her life with those things running through her head. And she shouldnt be happy!! She should never be happy with her relationship with OM or with being away from her family.

As it has been said on here many times, the AFFAIR is the enemy. If he had made personal judgments about her, I would agree that he had love busted. But attacks on the affair are open game! The affair is wrong, immoral and evil. it should never be colored in any other way than black and white.

In His arms.

Oh, and remember...the more her family, friends and daughter repeat how wrong it is...the more it will sink in how very wrong she is. And that is the beginning of wanting to exit the fog.

In His arms.