MW---
Yes, she is still preparing plans to move out. Either with this friend from work, which probably loves OM. Or some other place. I just seen her new apartment search list in her purse. Several addresses were one block from OM's. Oh by the way. OM's apartment is in a big apartment area and has a large complex one block away. My money is if she leaves and moves out she will land in one of two places. 1) With co-worker girl friend. This is a nice house in a very nice neighborhood. It will be furnished. She would have a girl friend so she would not be alone. (WW has a taste for the materials), (Also is so insecure she can not be in a house alone over night).
2) An apartment near OM's. Most of those are scum. She would probably take this option knowing that she would just be with OM any way.

Yes, she is still getting her fix nightly. The only dirt on me she could quickly come up with is not documented. She told police I never threatened OM the first night I found her at his place. I kinda said some pretty good stuff...No surprise he is scared to walk out side now...Also, when OM called the police on me for breaking up the lunch party last a couple weeks ago. I did not say anything directly to him like the first time, but i did tell her I would destroy him if he gets out of that truck. She says, she new I was there because of her and that i was just fighting for her and she could not live with herself by allowing me to go to jail over her. So, she told police he only yelled at me with out threats. The last encounter the police never even called me.
Her protecting me when OM called the police probably chapped his [censored].

I agree wholeheartedly with MM, owl, bigger, walking, long, and Mr. W....

I know it seems illogical to save your marriage by pursuing divorce (???) but in your wifes case, she simply must start losing things.

I stress to you: MAKE YOURSELF UNAVAILABLE for little spats and disagreements....no more relationship talks. Just go about your business. If she comes to you; go with your mantra.

She wants to vent....don't be her target -- let OM be her target. Things are not going to be good in fantasyland with her cancelling the divorce...

Let her be gone...keep documenting all her missing hours. Keep DD close to you.

I would have a heart to heart with your DD to let her in on a little of your strategy. She probably hears and senses a lot of what is going on. I would make sure she knows your goal -- keeping her family together. It will comfort her. Might turn her against mom a little more, but hey, mom can't really defend herself right now can she??

I wonder if the OM even knows yet that she put things on hold!! If he doesn't that could be a real good shocker!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Normally, I might agree with Mr. Wondering and Owl. But let's look at my case as an example.

I did almost exactly as Dazed has been doing. Tried to Plan A for months. everythign was back and forth. she would spew all the same things. OM was pressuring her to divorce me. I had the kids and she had moved into an apartment. She just couldnt file...knowing that she would lose the kids.

That situation would have (and did) go on forever. That is until I got the advice from Just Learning and others on here that I needed to go to Plan B and file for protection of my kids and assets. I could file, get the custody hearing...and then stall the divorce if I wanted to. But I needed to get the custody issue settled ASAP.

Why did I need to do this? Well, first off, I needed to make sure that I got custody of the kids. As it stood in December 2002, I had an open and door shut case for abandonment and other things...no doubt I was getting custody. But, thee was no guarantee that situations wouldnt change weeks or months later that would help bolster her case. Remember, I am a man...which means you already start in the negative when it comes to custody cases.

The second reason was the pressure it would put on my wife. You see, up until then, I had Plan A'ed her. She had waffled back and forth between wanting to come home and never wanting to see me again. But she could afford to waffle because she was still seeing the OM, still lived in her own place, still with no responsibilities. She wasnt even paying one dime for her kids.

So, to file and go to Plan B would be to force the issue. To confirm to her what will be should the divorce be finalized. To get her to move off her butt in the fog.

So, I called my attorney, told him to file...and sent her the Plan B letter the same day. A week later, she decided not to come to our daughter's play at school...but showed up at the restaurant afterwards to spew crap at me. That night she packed her stuff, and left the next day for 5 days in Florida with the OM, visiting his daughters and his mother.

When she got back, she had gotten the stuff concerning me filing. She tried to go off on me, but I was in Plan B!! So, she remained silent for a week. But then dropped by to see the kids on New Years Eve. And somehow, she cornered me in order to talk. I listened, thinking maybe she was coming around. Nope. She just wanted to blame me for everything, and accuse me of now giving up on the marriage because I filed. I just told her that she knew I was for the marriage and I wasnt going to listen to this clap-trap any further. I walked back into the house.

We didnt talk for three more weeks. It was VERY dark on my part. She would try calling sometimes, leaving VMs about how pretty the sunrise was, etc. All attempts to thwart my Plan B. But I did not give in.

And then, a week before the custody hearing, she shows up at the door and says she wants to talk. So I listen. She says she wants to "try." And so I tell my lawyer to shut things down. She even gets to the point where we start SF again.

She begins to see the counslor with me...and two months later moves home. But after a year at home, with her still in at least telephone contact with the OM...she moves out again, tries to take the kids with her, and files on me. Three months later, after some very hard things I had to do and with less than a slam dunk case, I got custody. And two weeks later after getting custody, my wife got rid of OM for good and we have been together and moving forward ever since.

Now, tell me. Did dropping my suit for divorce help me? Nope. It hurt me. My case was a slam dunk case then. I could have easily lost the second time around. She had built a better casefor herself the second time around.

Also, it didnt help because she only came home to head off the loss of her kids. She wasnt repentent. Thus we were doomed right from the start.

Now, what did motivate her to come out of the fog? THE LOSS OF HER KIDS! And if I had done that in January 2003, instead of December 2004, I wouldnt have had to go thru a year and a half no effort and no progress. And I wouldnt have jeopardized my kids by allowing her to build up a case for herself.

So, while what Owl and Mr. Wondering says makes since, I also know that you have a unique opportunity here. You have the ability to knock the fog around real hard. And you have an open and shut case right now. You have no idea what the future will hold.

But, it is your family and your marriage. Like I said, you arent filing to get a divorce...but to just get the hearing so you can protect your daughter. But, if you decide not to, then we all will respect that and help you to do the best you can in this next phase...which will probably be a long one.

I do agree that OM cannot be happy with the sitch (her not gettign divorced right now). And that will weigh on their relationship. It weighed on my wife's OM. But not enough to make him leave her. Why buy the cow when you are getting free milk? Although he wanted her to divorce, he certainly wasnt going to jeopardize what he had at that point.

So, tell us your plan and we will help you. I just know in my case, that the kids were the BIG draw back for my wife out of the fog.

In His arms.

LEXXXY---I agree with you. Just like I told her this morning. NO MORE ARGUEMENTS. I will not enguage in any petty crap that leads to LB's. This trap I have not done so well with. However, I told her today. NO MORE FOR ME. So when i ignore her venom. She will know why.

Yes, I will polish my journal and calendar this week end. Between email, notes, and this website i have pretty good records.

ILF- I think OM has no freakin idea she has put it on hold.
OKAY- Her company owner reads her email, RIGHT.
I go and send that email to her this morning stating that "she put legal stuff on hold". Then she calls me asking "Why would I send a message like that".... OKAY--She knows that Owner is reading....Her crap about not reading me... Well she must have thought I sent that just so HE would see that she called off the divorce... GET IT... I think she was angry because I just leaked out that she called off the legal dogs...
Now I thought OM and Owner did not like each other. How ever who knows what crap WW has told Owner about me. Remember he did suggest at one time she come home to her marriage. She must have fogged him over about me.

Yes, I think OM would be REALLY MAD if he knew she is on hold.... I mean REALLY MAD.. Keep in mind he not only pushed her to the lawyers door step, but he paid for it too.
I also, want to let him know that his ex-wife not only looks pretty dam good again, but is happy with another man. Also, her new man is working on his old house. Keep in mind that OM's daddy is a wood worker/carpenter and OM likes to think he is good at home projects. It would have to eat at him a little that a new man is now finishing his ex-wife and house....
Yes, I would like to get OM so pissed that he LB's the living crap out of everything and WW gets a look at her prince with his mask off.

By the way:
WW got a little gut check last night from DD.
WW while nestled on the couch says to DD in a real playful tone. Hey come lay down with me and watch tv... DD looks at her and declines. Saying her hair was still wet from the shower.
I am laying on the other couch on the other side of the room watching the same tv as WW.
Daughter comes over to me. We playfully joke around. She tells me about her day at school. About her new band instrument. Then tells me to move over so she can lay down. Me and DD watched the rest of the show goofing around. WW did not say a word the rest of the night and was a sleep by 9:45.

Bravo MM!
Great story to share.

It would be grand if she decided to end her affair with OM because she suddenly realized how much she loves you. Its just not gonna happen that way.

She has to lose. She has to be uncomfortable. She has to be unhappy. And unfortunately you're gonna be the source of a lot of that. Get comfortable with it.

Stop trying to protect her from her big mistake! Let her go make it -- and hurry up with it! She has to figure this all out for herself. You can't teach her. You can't protect her. And the more you try, the longer you prolong everyones pain. Let her make her mistakes, learn, grow, be sorry, and come back. She has to go through every step. You can't push her straight from "mistake" to "come back".

I think we are all correct. Dazed could have gone either way.

MM you did Plan A for a long time whereas Dazed is only at 2 months and the 1st month he was chasing her around town, pulling her out of cars and LB'ing all over the place. Only recently has his Plan A been more focused, sound and productive.

Additionally, his legal case will be stronger once she "abandons" the marital home and necessarily gets a job. OM's $11,000 will only go so far.

Dazed really did not make this decision anyway. She withdrew her petition. He can wait a few days to assess the situation. If she tries to be supermom and continue on with OM at the same time. If she refuses to leave and continues to in-his-face disrespect Dazed...then I am all on board with filing for custody/divorce. She'd be asking for it. Right now, he can't hide behind the lawyer very effectively if he files.

Let's see where this goes. Plan A, Plan A, Plan A.

Mr. Wondering

--- Dazed, again, journal the debate here as if it were your own internal debate. Frame it in the issue of what's in the best interest of protecting DD12. Is it better for DD12 in the long run that I continue to fight for the marriage and put off any divorce/custody dispute for now or should I file immediately to protect her today?

Good words, MM.

Dazed, I sincerely think you have too much to lose to be speculating about what the OM thinks about her putting the divorce on hold. All that's in the same category as daydreaming...it's NOT productive, darn it. You can't know what's in his mind. You don't even know what's in your straying wife's mind. For Pete's sake, do something to press the issue and protect your child, as well as your own sanity. Mortarman has been where you are. Please listen to him before it's too late.

I am with mortar all the way..

why?

My xh reconciled w/me briefly too...seems it was all about the "dirt" I had on him during my first divorce filing.

He tried to use that time from the pretend a nd false reconciliation to go further underground with the owomen...and also used the time to HIDE FINANCIAL ASSETS...and he wanted to via abuse try to push me out of family home. I left a few days before Christmas b/c he was physically violent to me. but he got to spin that one..however I had the bruises (from being pushed down) documented the second I got back home that day in TN by the police department. My xh was soooo angry I had the pictures of the bruises...and my lawyers saw them. I also had my bro in law, a sugeon, take photos of them and sign an affidavit saying they were not self induced trauma...that somebody else hurt me.

He used the false reconciliation to even try to force the point that because he and I had sf (one or 2 times) that I had forgiven him about the affairs (yea right) and that I had re-filed for the D under different grounds..there is actually an old law out there in ga, that if you have sf during a divorce filing, you can no longer prove the previous grounds (adultery and cruel treatment were my grounds)...so he tried to use an ancient law against me.

He also used the time to have his company partner doctor the financial documents showing that he makes bout ten times less than he actually does...this came out only in court a year later.
[
He used the time to spin and devise a new plan...all the while he was saying he "loved me, wanted our marriage, our family and that owomen were gone."

I got less money than I would have and he got a tad more custody time that legally he should have...although I have a little more time than him. It cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars basically...

Use your brain. A WS that is not truly repentant is just biding time....or has a legal battle plan.

Open your heart and the front door only to a humbled and broken and truly repentant ws. If not, just keep the locks on...deadbolted!

DAZED... THIS IS GOOD!!

[color:"red"] OWL...."Two...let her put it on hold, but make her do so under SPECIFIC conditions, as documented jointly by your lawyers. NC with OM...document what contact consists of, what violations would be, and what the consequences of violating those conditions would be (use this to negotiate for set period of NC to create withdrawl in your wife). Set a specific time for proceedings to be placed on hold for this 'evaluation phase'...and make it no less than three months. Use this to ensure that your wife begins acting like a human being again. Use it to force her to take the actions that she needs to take anyway...NC, MC, accountability, etc...and for the set time period you need. Negotiate this through the lawyers so that it has TEETH.

That's the choices I see at least. The trick would be to have your lawyer spin it in such a way that it appears that this is the best possible way for her to prove herself as a fit wife and mother. And make it seem that if she doesn'! t agree to these conditions, then she's clearly not wanting to! be a fi t wife and mother." [/color]

OWL... that is BRILLIANT!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> If the lawyers will go for it I think it's PERFECT... ( I wish I thought of it... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

And Mr. Wondering's insite... is RIGHT ON... and right on Harley's phone conversation of about a week ago...


[color:"red"] MM you did Plan A for a long time whereas Dazed is only at 2 months and the 1st month he was chasing her around town, pulling her out of cars and LB'ing all over the place. Only recently has his Plan A been more focused, sound and productive.
[/color]
MM... you are a very wise man and have a great success story using that method...
However... don't you think that doing an "A" for "many Months" helped restore some of your WW's love (although buried deep on the fog) so she was ABLE... to come home after you brought the hammer down?

DAZED... you're doing great....GOOD LUCK AND PRAYERS FRANK

Okay, before it appears that me and Mr. wondering are on opposite sides of this debate, let me clarify...

First off, Please help...yes, doing a long Plan A was VERY helpful. And definitely contributed to a short Plan B. But what I have been talking about is not the Plan B...but instead the stopping a legal process and saving my wife from what ended up being what she needed, which is the loss of her kids.

I wholeheartedly agree and would bet a months salary that it will take something equally devastating to Mrs. Dazed before she has the fog clear. All of Dazed's posts show this. She is worried about the loss of daughter, about her reputation, etc. This is the one thing more than the OM or Dazed that she still holds onto. It is what she most values right now. How do I know this? Because she cant do what either man is asking her to do because of daughter and custody. Do you think for one second she would have stopped this divorce if they had no children?

Of course not...this is about custody!!

Now, I am going to agree with Mr. Wondering and back off a second. You see, where Dazed lives must be different legally. I know that when we dropped the proceedings after I got custody, it took both of our signatures in order to drop it here in Virginia. even though my wife started it, I had to sign to have it dropped. If I had not of signed, the divorce would have continued. Maybe Dazed's state does it differently.

So, if her dropping it starts things back at zero legally, then I will agree with Mr. Wondering and Owl that maybe we take a deep breath and wait a couple of days to let his wife play her hand. A couple of days or a week or two will not change his standing, but will definitely help find out where she stands.

And look. If she is serious about being home, then we will see that and she will proceed. If she isnt, then Dazed can file two weeks from now and have even more ammo for the judge...the fact that his wife wants to play games with the court in order to get custody.

So, I am agreeing with both sides here. It really is two sides of the same coin. Liek I said, if it were here in Virginia, I would still say dont stop the proceedings. but since there are now no proceedings thanks to his wife cancelling them, then let Dazed sit back and see wha thappens the next couple of days...and be ready to pull the trigger ver yshortly!

Dazed...you need a time limit to observe her. Maybe two weeks max. You need to set this in stone. Others can help here to determine what is the best amount of time. But, if at the end of that time she shows she hasnt moved or shows she is playing you...then launch the nuke.

In His arms.

Peach- As I have said before and I will say it again. Woman you have to be a true survior. That ex of your pulled every low life card in the book on you. WOW..
You are truely and inspiration to see how strong you are! Thank you.

WW does not have acces to much money right now. I opened a new checking account that my pay roll check is going into and I am paying monthly bills from. I still have our joint accounts but I am not adding new money.

MM-You make excellant points. I think you and LEXXXY have lived through a very similar experience as the one I am in. LEXXXY's story sounds very similar as my WW's. Much of what she says falls right in to plan with WW.
LEXXXY-THANK YOU...

Yes, here I do not have to sign anything to stop proceedings. There is just so much speculation right now as to what is floating through her mind.

She called from her office tonight at 6PM telling me she was there working overtime. Then came home shortly after. I cooked dinner and snacks for all of us. WW was pretty much distant. I did not approach her and there was just minimal words spoken all night. Again she invited DD to lay with her on a couch to watch tv. It is clear she is reaching out to DD. However, DD again was not accepting. She did try to snuggle with her. However, daughter got angry with her and moved over to me. We played around the rest of the evening while watching tv. We watched ghost whisperer on CBS. The theme was a WW while cheating dies a tragic death. Her family is destroyed to learn she was a WW and died while on a date in the country side with OM. WW's son carried tremendous hate for his mother for being a cheater and dieing.
My WW's attempt to be social and playful with DD soon changed as we watched the show. Then up next was another show about a BW running over and killing her H OW. Quickly my WW has retreated to sleeping.

So I agree with the questions of what has changed. I intend on asking WW these to hear why she pulled the plug.

Everyone has wrote such good advice to me... Thank you all again. I will go back and read all this again and see if I can get my mind wrapped around this to keep on plan. Tomorrow is a must to get my journal polished up.
You know I was surprised WW did not plan on leaving tonight.....First Friday in many months she had not acted like she wanted to leave. Just really quiet and subdued.

Maybe she is scared to tell OM that she pulled the divorce petition so she's avoiding him.

Mr. W

I think something is up.. Just not sure what.

I feel like such crap for snooping around, but I think I will take run through her purse and look for clues. I have not been able to locate the secret cell phone in a week. I think she is NOT bringing it back into the house now. I just can't find it. I looked in her car yesterday but no dice. I found a new car charger though. The wall charger I found a week ago and through it down the street and ran over it on the way to work.

Cathartic, huh?

Dazed,

I have a question - you may need to ask your attorney the answer to this. Has your wife "dismissed" the Divorce Petition or have they merely requested a postponement of Monday's Hearing? You need to talk to your attorney ASAP. I am really concerned about your WW and her attorney's strategy - it is very clear to me they have one and I am quite certain it is to ream you a new one.....Your WW did not dismiss this simply because she was afraid of loosing custody...she dismissed it because they've come up with a plan to win custody and screw you in the process. She is playing with your mind.

BB

This is my take on this...

1)she has been given a new legal gameplan either per OM or attorney. I feel it is per attorney...her legal case is at best...poor with chances of gaining custody of her daughter. In fact, I'd say that dazed has about a 99% chance of getting it. This reeks of divorce attorney advice...the whole "stay in the family home, if you have to see OM make sure there is a THIRD party there (her friend) and that you are seen to be moving into your FRIEND'S house instead of OM, make sure that you do NOT spend night with OM, etc"...again, this comes from experience.

Her attitude vs. the action she is taking shows this to me.

I think her attorney has told her to dismiss, and buy for time while they cook something up.

If the postponement is due to her fear of losing custody, then the movtivator here is fEAR and not being repentant at all.

BEfore we can give legal advice here about strategy, it is important it goes by laws of dazed's state of residence. this should be an attention given 911 status to his attorney asap! what does his attorney advise knowing the laws of this state? and yes, you'd be surprised what a week or 2 can bring legally.

I agree with almost every bit of advice here except for part of waiting 2 weeks...to me, it would be nuke time...and also time to use that darn legal ballistic missile to fire ww off the fence...she's been sitting there far too long.

she is NOT repentant at all. she is saying nothing but divorce divorce, etc. I see no behavior so far that merits a pullback from the legal proceedings...but I do smell a rat! either advice from om or her attorney per se.

It is logical to me to see possibly it is working of her attorney...why?

1)she was adimant about moving in with her friend. OM was even over at the house doing some fixing up...
2)she was all thinking she was going to enjoy shared custody, ss, and cs.
3)she saw what she was dreaming vs. the reality of the issue was NOT going to reinforce her position in court...aka, the attorney OM hired, cleared some fog...but did not make her want to change her ways...she saw some reality, but the reality is the only reason she is home right now. It hasnothing to do with OM...it is to do with the BIG PICTURE...CHILD, CUSTODY, SPOUSAL SUPPORT, CHILD SUPPORT, EQUITQABLE DIVISION OF ASSETS...that is what I fear she is doing...trying to legally buy time to bolster her side.

I'd reinstate. Depose OMW. get it going.

why drag this out? it will accomplish little without a repentant heart imho.

If you want the prodigal wife home, you gotta show her love by letting her see what she has chosen...and she will high tail it back home imho within 2 mos.

PLUS...THIS JUST CAME TO ME...

what we are neglecting is the assessment of DAZED FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF ATTORNEY AND WW.

We'be been discussing what would be the motivators for ww coming home and why stopping the divorce? We have identified HER motivators for doing so...Now let's take this from totally opposite angle...

What would be DAZED's most important issue here? The family staying together. That is dazed's "carrot". He wants the divorce to stop. He wants his ww back. The attorney could be doing this and just as we are strategizing for him, he be strategizing for ww.

If you want to lull a bs into a false sense of security, then by all means stop a divorce. Go home. pretend "ok bs, you've won b/c I will lose" type of mentality presented. Meanwhile dazed will let guard down and try to win his family back...it could be that she is trying to catch something , some issue off guard. And there's alot she could do at home...she could secretly tape conversations, and a myriad of other things.

It is her words and actions I do not like.

I love behavioral psych. It is to me imperative that I see actions and words match people I choose to love and trust. And yes, when there is a discrepancy between the words and the deeds, there is usually some deception going on. That is why my "spideysense" tells me something is NOT right with this whole scenario right now. And it is because of the Ww, the pulling of the divorce papers at 11th hour before a trial she will definitely lose, and her ATTITUDE.

to me, ww coming home is like a trojan horse...looks like a present, but really is something else in disguise...

Hey MM-- It figures you would get a laugh out of my car charger disposal.

Well WW shown me her plan this morning. She woke me up this morning to "talk".
So I ask her first thing... What has changed for you?
She says, point blank. Loosing my kid. I don't want to loose my kid. That's the only reason I am still here.
So the rest of the conversation was just another version of the rest. I attacked her actions to have an affair. She justified it by what I did in out marriage. I keep dwelling on her affair. She just got mad as #ell because I would not be "normal" and agree to joint custody like everyone else in the world does. I reinforced my mantra about protecting my family and best interest of daughter. She keep accusing me of being selfish and just wanting to get my way and hold captive by taking her kid away. Same old crap. She just kept trying to justify her actions by our problems in the marriage. I kept reinforcing I did things wrong but you can not solve our problems with another man.
She came at me with how can I be looking out for best interest by taking her mother away. I said, well you were a great mother. The mother I new would have never let another man split her family and child in half. That is not being a good mother in my book. She got really pissed. Starting spewing more crap about there was no way I was going to keep daughter away from her or any man she wants or her friends. That I was never going to win custody. No judge would in a million years give her to me. She just kept bashing me for stupid stuff from the past. I let most of them go by only defending myself as a father when she starting in on how I was a nothing father and worse husband... I turned away from her and ended the conversation. She was so mad she was hitting herself in the head, gritting her teeth and yelling for me to go get the papers and she would agree to everything right now. I could explain to daughter why she can't have a mommy. I told her she knows why....Just ask her.. She ran out of the room and into the shower.

I stayed in bed. Of course hurting. The WW must have stewed even more when showering. Came back in the room and again. Says, so your feelings are hurt... Well WHAT ABOUT MINE. She is yelling and screaming now. I told her until she calmed down I was not going to talk to her. She got madder. Said, why can't you just let me leave. I told her she was free to go....No one is holding you here... If you want to leave then go...hit the door....She says, why don't you say loud enough that daughter can here you. I said, she knows. Go ahead and leave if you want to. She says, if I go will you agree to shared custody. I said, no way.
From now on Lawyers talk divorce, I talk saving marriage.
She says, well maybe the judge or your daughter will like to here all the great things you have done. I said, well I have nothing to hide. She says, oh yeah. I said, well unless you want to make up lies about me. If you really think you can sleep at night knowing the truth about why we are here today. You having an affair. Parading you lover around to you daughter, and family. You drove this dager into the heart of our marriage. I am the bad guy for trying to save it, and protect our daughter. YES THAT MAKES ME THE BAD GUY...huh
She left the room...30 minutes later the house..

too much drama now for dd.

If she leaves, she will hit bottom faster now.

Please record and write down the line "why don't you say that louder for dd"? That is incredibly cruel as a parent...to want to incite that.

She is incredibly toxic and harmful to dd right now emotionally.

When you say "affair" and tell the truth, calling her actions and relationship what they really are, they spew more anger...like exorcist kind of stuff.

keep doing the same path..however, I have given you my opinion on things now. She is going to harp on you and stay on your back, putting all kinds of pressure and cruelty on you until YOU AGREE to give her joint custody and the fantasy life.

She is angry at you for taking away her fix...her fantasy...but she is not outta the clouds. Drug addicts learn how to kick their addictions by going cold turkey. She has NO motivator right now to give up OM. Other than dd...

I do believe she has some sort of legal "plan" or scheme in the next 2 weeks.

If she leaves and does not return much, document that. She is coming into the family home for pure show right now...to polish up the tarnished "mom and wife" image that will be legally painted.

Let her crash...she is inching soooo ever close now...and it could be the very thing that saves her. The only thing.

Hey Dazed....

How is it going? Are you ok? The weekends can be filled with drama so I hope you are taking care of yourself and DD. Just wanted to check in here....

Best,
Daisy