Chuckle...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> someone is a little snippy today

LittleBOb--- Thanks for the humor!!!!

Give me a break man... I am an engineer... Bad spelling is to engineers like readable writing is to doctors..... lol

I apologize for my post. I recently had my WW served with divorce papers and reading this just gets me a little jumpy.

Dazed,

He is correct. It is sit, not set. If you intend to use any of this as documentation then it would be in your best interest to try and keep a good grammar structure.

But, if you are purposefully doing this as a passive-aggressive way to irritate some people, then I LOVE IT. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

***B) Request WRITE OF 1st REFUSAL CLAUSE***

Don't mean to be snippy, but this one could be important:

It's RIGHT of First Refusal. Not "write" -- RIGHT, as in the "right to do something."
Mulan

HEY.........I resent that comment. My handwriting (when I want it to be) is actually excellent.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Lem

So, it seems that one of the requirements to become a doctor is to get a D- or lower in penmanship. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ya know, I don't know at what point in the training this happens. I have by nature excellent handwriting, but somewhere along the line (usually during 1st year med school with taking 10,000 pages of notes in class) the HW goes in the toilet. It only get worse as you hurrily try and write 25 patient progress notes before 7 am rounds.

My everyday HW borders on the C+/D- line, my penmanship when needed is an A, if I say so myself. That of my colleagues as a whole is a big fat "F".... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Lem

UPDATE:
Brief update I wanted to write down while it's still fresh in my mind.

Ex-Sil just called me...She is ready to nuke and wants to meet with me tonight to tell all...

Okay: WW told me that she spoke to Ex-SIL and daughter will no longer be riding the bus over to her house with my nephew on Monday and Tuesday after school. I did not argue just said, that is okay with me... I will pick her up just like I do the rest of the week. Does Ex-SIL know this... She says, yes.

Fast forward.... Ex-Sil just called me freaking out... That daughter was no where to be found and she has just spent the last hour looking everywhere.
I told her what WW told me and she is way poed... She said, what WW has been avoiding her and will not take her calls... I said, I thought you must have spoke with her in order for WW to tell that stuff.

She said, she left a voice message with her. That was all.

Ex-Sil says, that WW has not only been dumping daughter with her OM's 15yo but his 17yo friend that has been driving all three of them around... WW has apparently been meeting the 17yo and 15yo to dump our daughter at different places around town so WW can go get her 2 hour fix with OM.

Ex-SIL said this started late summer and now WW does not even tell them when she is coming over and just lets off daughter. Last Friday night WW came over and set in the drive way waiting for some one to come home. When Ex-SIL with her OM and his kids shown up daughter was already out of the car before they had even pulled in the drive. Ex-SIL was so angry that she stopped and backed back out of the drive and went on a 10 minute ride hoping WW would get the hint and leave. When they got back there she was still setting there.
When they pulled in WW asked if daughter could stay there for an hour or so. They said, no they just picked up his kids for the week end and this is his only visitation time.

WW was smug with her and they left. About an hour later Ex-SIL gets a phone call from WW asking if the boy could go to the movies with them and WW would just come pick him up. Ex-SIL did not want to but said, okay because a movie is only an hour and half.
Ex-Sil says that she heard from the kids later that WW just dumped them off at the mall together. They did see a movie by them selves.
WW was late to pick them up. Then when she got to Ex-SIL's she asked if she could leave daughter and go get a pop and come back and hang out. WW was gone for three hours...

Ex-SIL was furious with her... Harley's quote, "This information is the crown jewel for custody"... As sad as that is...

WW has a 5:30 IC meeting tonight. The last two weeks of ther IC meetings she was gone for nearly 4 hours...
This after noon I asked WW just how long is your meeting for tonight? She got pissy and said she did not know and has to go....
This has me really mad right now...

It may not be a bad idea to use your digital tape recorder to tape your meeting with x-SIL in secret. Just in case later she decides to recant on the witness stand or in a deposition so you can introduce the recording to dispute the "new" testimony. In the alternative you could take notes and ask her to sign and date the notes before you leave, just so you have documentation without forcing the legalese of getting a formal "affidavit". She may clam up if forced or requested to "get involved" in your future legal matter. She may be more willing to vent to you off the record but if she realizes she may be asked to repeat this in court she may hesitate today or later.

Just my $.02

Mr. Wondering

Another thought;

Your daughter has been taking advantage of this situation for her benefit. Her freedom so to speak. She has withheld information from you because she knew you would disapprove and put a stop to the fun she has been having.

I don't know what your supposed to do about it but maybe a serious talk with daughter. Her persistent lies of omission have enabled WW - but you have to be delicate to avoid making her infer you are at all blaming her for the situation in your marriage. Kids will presume it's there fault.

Mr. Wondering

hear hear!

WW...IS...
M A N I P U L A T I V E.

And she is playing the "I am soooo sad, confused and torn" card to the hilt. She moans about losing daughter...meanwhile she is TEACHING your precious dd to LIE. teaching to lie...even if by omission...comission or omission it is a SIN.

Make sure you take Mr. Wondering's words to heart...tape her. and get a PI to follow WW...see if xsil will go along with it for one more night...have pi follow ww around dropping dd off..and having dd roam around at movies...with older boy.

if you have the verbal affidavit and the pi info, plus have WW going to a f fest with the om, you have 100 percent custody...she is proven an unfit mother.

this is part of the result of her actions...action equals result.

the woman you knew as your W would NEVER endanger their own child...but a WW would drop off her precious child so she could have two hours of uninterrupted SEX with OM. call it what it is dazed...it is not a fix...it is SEX. it is adultery! she is NOT naive like you think her to be...all the crying on your shoulder is a GAME TO HER TO WIN...so she can gain your sympathy, your money, custody...and to the waywards lemme let you in on a secret..MONEY EQUALS CUSTODY...CUSTODY EQUALS MONEY..waywards do not really have time in their horny little lives for things like kids, p.t.a. and bible study or homework...the don't want that. It's not about THEM. get it? but to a wayward custody would only mean more money for them...why my xh fought me tooth and nail. plus he thought ow/w would take care of son when he wanted more cake to eat.

if this is not a sign of plan B beginning then what is? this woman is a user. she is sooo badly needing FOR HER OWN GOOD...THE STATE OF HER SOUL NOW TO CRASH...if you LOVE HER HELP HER CRASH OK?

THIS IS TIME FOR TOUGHEST LOVE OF ALL. I do believe you are incredible as a dad...now it's time to get tough and show dd that you love her...and show WW that you love dd by putting an end to her childish behavior.

What ww is doing is dangerous and childish. It is like what a girl I knew in high school would do. she would pretend to be babysitting for people in nearby subdivision for say, two hours, and have friends pick her up at the family (she was babysitting for) house...then go out w/friends...and have friends bring her home b/c her excuse was that she had no car. she would go out and drink and smoke and party...spray on perfume before walking in to see mom and dad...she never told her parents ( lie of omission) that she did this...Stacey never did. She was a friend of mine in my circle but I never did that. One night it all crashed down when her parents called the children's family. They had a family emergency and asked for their daughter ...they said her friends had driven her home and that she was done babysitting. Her parents called all of her friends! They even called me. asked if I could possibly know where stacey was? I told them.

You wife is no different than that girl from my high school. What she did twenty almost years ago is as dangerous as what your ww is doing today...except your WW is older and supposedly knows better.

I am morally appauled that you will even allow your dd around ww right now. It is time to tighten the noose around ww.

Personally, I think she needs to crash hard. Let her attempt to manipulate the darn judge. Let's see if the judge will buy her tears...her pleas...after he sees the dam*ing evidence placed before the court.

she will get NO custody. she will get NO ss. nada.

her ride will be over. she will be using the pennies and the remainder of the 11k from om...should last..maybe a mont or two? at best? not to mention the lovebusting that goes with the moment of clarity when one realizes they have lost all they ever worked for in their life.

some people's moments of clarity happen later than others...last night before bed, heard my dogs barking like mad. I didn't know why.

this morning I got up, got in car on way to work. My car was left unlocked accidentally. Inside it was the school photos (just got back) of my ds..which were purchased by my xh. Inside my cd/dash area was my check from xh...and it had obviously cologne on it. He got in my car. wierd yea, but it says all...when we dated, I once wore at home (my house) when I was away from him, one of his polo t shirts that smelled like him.

guess he left his calling card.

don't let your life get outta control. help the ws crash. it is the kindest thing you can do to them. for them. if you want any hope of your family healing, the time is now.

She has lost her mind. This is a woman who was a previously good mother. She has reached the point where she is so addicted to OM that she will even sacrifice her daughter.

She knows in her heart and mind that she is so far in the wrong. Dazed, you may soon reach a point where you can't forgive her actions. Protect yourself before that happens. And most of all protect your daughter. You've reached a very critical place where you cannot trust your wife with daughter even for a short period of time. She is constantly using her own daughter for the cover of her affair. How ugly!

I hope you can keep your emotions in check through the holidays. Stay calm. You've got to be the leader of this family. You have to stay strong for your daughter. Stop pleading with WW.

How is ex-SIL related to you? I hope your meeting with her goes well.

Since we are talking about what children learn from affairs. I think dazed it would be a good idea that you reread this article.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_lesson.html

Noliving- Thanks for the story... Very Good, or should I say very sad...

I am nearing the end of my rope... WW is AWOL yet again. IC at 5:30PM.. It 8:45PM...

Harley told me if is were not so close to Christmas that I should file Separation immediately...

Hearing what was happening with daughter is so unbelieveably pathetic I just can not believe the levels of sick WW has sank too.

She is out of control already... This woman was so over protective she did not allow daughter to spend the night with out one of us until she was seven years old....
She used to volunteer at the elementry school each year. She was a stay at home mom for the first two years of daughters life. She never missed any event. Every day she would wash daughte and do her hair like being in a salon.. Spend an hour just making sure daughter was done up every day. She was a story book mother that could not even watch as I taught daughter how to ride a bike. The first time I let go of the bike so daughter could pedal with out training wheels the woman collapsed with a panic attack.

No what kind of mother would give there 12 year old daughter to a 15 and 17 year old boys to out. Keep in mind that WW was molested and raped at 10 and again at 15.

I will always love the woman that was my wife... How could that woman become this OM's gutter slut in less than a years time???????????
Do you think there really could be drugs involved?? Or just SATAN...

How do I let in back in the door when she stumbles in tonight knowing full well where she has been?

No meeting took place tonight with Ex-SIL... She could not get time to be alone to go over this stuff...
This woman is my brothers ex-wife. I don't have much use for her, just did not want to burn a bridge that one day like right now I may need...
She is currently a wayward but has no reason to lie about this now. Obviously she was helping WW until WW now. Ex-SIL was also molested as a little girl.. This is something that motivated her to come to me.
She would most likely avoid the court room u

she is NOT your W now.

If you continue this without any repurcussions with your WW then you are NOT doing the right thing for your dd.

it is hurting me to see you still hanging in there. your ww can work out her issues with a pro when she goes to MC with you...a ws lying to a counselor is NOT a proactive sitch nor is it helping her...waht is this counselor doing? helping her find other ways to lie?

and what in the heck good is filing for a separation anyway? you can do it, it is just legal limbo basically. I know you think you're buying time...for this affair to bust...but the AFFAIR WILL BUST WHEN TRUE LIGHT OF DAY HITS IT...sometimes exposure in the courtroom is what it takes...sometimes it takes a little while longer after exposure in the courtroom...like exposure all over town with people whispering behind your back...like having to explain why once the good room mother and the overprotective mom is more like the mom in harper valley pta or the woman working the red light district downtown?

It takes the fall.

You're letting ww back in the back door is DENYING HER THE FALL.

I know you hate hearing my words...it is why you do not respond to me.

keep making up excuses for her. see what happens. I told you what she was doing...what has really been happening but you did not want to believe it.

gotta get dark before the dawn...

it will be dark...and then when you go dark, realize that a new dawn will be coming soon...either with a repentant xww...or with a new beginning as a good single dad.

when I hit that point and realized where I was and where I stood, the options did not seem scary anymore.

you are not looking at this right.

it is far more dangerous having this ww in your home, spewing hate and lies...and teaching your d how to live...than showing her the door and allowing her to experience life as a ww or an om or ow can only experience it. without your being there to sheild her from this.

you have been close to being a plan a superman..but even superman has kryptonite which can take him down...

plan b keeps the bs safe from further harm...and can actually give you time to evaluate your life far from the ws drama. it can give your dd some clarity too...and some clear boundaries in her life...and safety.

be a good dad. you're gonna have to put foot down. if you have NO custody issue in place legally, then WW can do whatever she wants as the mother legally of your dd...have you considered this? does that frighten you? that a WW not a mother has legal control just as equal as you over your dd? after writing what you wrote to us today that should scare the ****** outta you.

remove the "I am a doormat" sign you're wearing. politely pack the woman's clothes. show her the way out the front door since she will NOT behave as either a lady or a mother should.

Dazed I think you're right to follow Harley's advice to stay with your plan A until after Christmas. However, I'm concerned he doesn't know the depths of danger your WW is putting daughter in. I think if he knew of the recent information you've gotten he may advise you to pursue the legal separation and custody arrangements as first priority.

Can you e-mail him some of the latest developments?

I support your continued Plan A as long as it doesn't include: begging, whining, crying, pleading. She simply doesn't deserve your devotion anymore AND SHE KNOWS IT -- thats what makes it so unbelievable to her.

Peach-I hear you...You make many great points and I agree with you that it will take bottoming out for her now.
It appears she wants to crash...she still has no idea that the light at the end of the tunnel is freight train coming her way...

Do I even waste my breath on her about tonight. I want to attack her about tonight...Tell her I AM DONE with being DISRESPECTED right in my face. In Plan A that is boundry or love buster????????????

Don't worry Peach--- Her day is coming...As to the legal sep. I posted what Steve told me about it and that is his idea. Division of property and kids are handled in the same manor as divorce filing.
If she files, then I take the same counter file posistion.
Steve said, filing for divorce myself and or Plan B is something we will review after the holidays.

I almost think that she just keeps pushing me by doing more and more all the time just to get me to push her out and file myself. This must be her last effort to prove that I am not pro-marriage and a bad guy that made her a victim.
Never mind the fact she just keeps sinking to new levels of a worthless human.

Lexxxy- You yourself know the power of the fog and dark side. Give me your honest big pic take on her..
I personally don't see any way this woman will come back from just my plan A....She will have to see the dark side for what it is and choose to have courage to want to return to me for help...When dealing with OM's girl friend how does one know that she will ever want to return?
Also, this deal is really pulling on me very hard.

The damage being done to daughter is appauling. She will no longer be taking daughter anywhere with out me. I am done with this.... I ripped her a new one Sunday about disrespecting me as a father. She better be ready if she thinks she is going to leave again with daughter just to dump her.

I am done with these nightly two to five hour disappearing acts... Everything else is 180 from our marriage... A woman that only believed in making love and sex was for sick people is now probably this guys porn queen...

How did this clown get her to chase him like a crazed school girl / prostitute?????????????
I know SATAN but what else.... He is not even attractive and she even said that to me...

I guess it is that she believes he will never leave her and she still believes that if she gives him everything she did not give me that he will not leave her like I did.

I don't know... It's just I am sick right now... Hope looks very little for me to save her from what will be misery...
Unless she always wanted to be a moral bankrupt piece of trash.

Post deleted by MAzingrace

I personally agree with what you've been told so far. And honestly, I don't know how I could plan A in your shoes at this point.

I know that I would, in very clear and blunt terms, tell my wife that she's being a horrible mother and wife, that there was no way I'd trust her with our daughter again, that I would flat out NEVER let her get custody if this is how she's going to treat your daughter, and that she's finally crossed the line to where you're no longer going to be able to tolerate her doodoo.

Time to take clear steps to protect you and your daughter. Your wife is going to have to deal with her own consequences...you need to heal the damage that she's done to this point and prevent further damage.

And if someday, she gets beamed back down from the mother ship, you'll consider seeing what kind of person she is then.