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#1486010 09/28/05 02:15 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
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I found that someone called my wife very frequently. When I asked her, she said there is nothing. I recently found that my wife called him too. And she try to make the call in ways that I could not find out. And she start to call him more and more often. I do not know if I should ask her about this. Every time we talk about this, she just blow up and we end up even far apart. And she has supposed that I did not know all the calls she made.

What should be my plan?

Thanks,

--------------------
adsf


adsf
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Do you have any proof anything happened besides the calls?
It could be REALLY hurtful to your relationship with your wife if you accuse her of something that isn't true.
Have you tried to rationally talk to her. NOT point the finger first and then ask questions?
Just a thought, but take her out for a nice date and CALMLY explain that you are worried about the calls and feel like an explanation is in order. Just explain that you love her and would love the chance to be involved in her life and that if there is an area she feels is lacking between the two of you, that you would be willing to go to MC or do whatever it took to fill that void.
But first DO NOT accuse her of something unless you have absolute PROOF!

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East,

Do you know who the guy is? His name? if he is married? etc?

If not call the number from another phone, say "who is this"?
OOps wrong #, sorry.

OR call the # and say, sorry to disturb you, but I see your # many times on our phone bill and was curious as to who has this #. But this would alert him and he would tell wifey.

SNOOPING IS IN ORDER! Some folks have obtained a voice activated tape recorder and hidden it in her/his car. This is an idea.

Can you check her computer and dig out old emails?

That she explodes upon being questioned about it leads me to believe there is more going on than phone calls.

k


CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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I was in the same place as you a few weeks ago. I wish I had read "Surviving an Affair" and "his needs her needs" and come to battle fully prepared. If I had it to do over, I would not have spoken to WH about the phone calls before I had a chance to catch my breath and come up with a plan. I could only react to him, and he is in a crazy state right now.

I would have also blown the engine in my poor old car so I get get a replacement before D-Day <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
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We have been married for about 10 years with one wonderful son. I have to agree that I did not treat my wife very well in the last a few years. I am an ambitious man who want a great career. Things is ok for me but I always wants more. Thus, in some cases, I put my angry on her and push her a lot. For example, asked her do more housework and go out find a job. I aslo said divorce many times. I now think I am totally a idoit. I now know how much I care about her.

She told me many times she has no feeling on me and she does not mind to leave me. But if I am ok, she can stay with me. But just do not control her too tight. I am financial much much strong than her.

I think I know who the guy is. They work together.
The guy frequently call my wife when I am away on business trip. But she usually did not call him. But now, she started to call him, very often.

When I ask her, she denied it. But if I insist, she became so angry that she threaten to do awful things on me. I am afraid of continuing asking because I think she will be totally out of mind.

I do not know what to do. My heart is broken. I want find out the truth. Should I keep asking or stop? It seems that the call disappeared and my wife wants to go back life. But I just could not bear the thoughts that my wife may be cheating on me and I could not find the truth.

Could any help?


adsf
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Stop asking her about this and put a tap on your phone. Find out the truth independently. In the meantime, stop treating her like dirt and try instead to attract her back by meeting her needs.

Do you have a Radio Shack nearby? They sell recorders that you can hook up to your phone.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101



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