Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1486458 09/29/05 05:52 AM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
September 28,2005 - I divorced my bestfriend. It only took a few minutes. I could not bring myself to look at my now XH. I could see out of the corner of my eyes that he was staring at me, although I don't think he was missing me... I think the moron actually was hoping for some sign of approval from me, some form of acceptance for his choice.

I held myself together until I got home.... and I cried... I cried for the end of our life together, I cried for all the dreams that are now dead.

At least I have my children, I have my home and a couple rentals... I have hopes for better days and sometime (God willing) when the time is right, I will fall in love again.


Take care,

~Jamie~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me (40)
WH (39)
Married May 4,1991
4 kids S(18)D(17)D(13)S(11)
He left March 14,2005
Informed about MOW (co-worker) March 23,2005
I filed for D in June 2005
Divorce final - Sept.28,2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace is not the absence of conflict: It's that state we can deal with conflict effectively, efficiently and respectfully.
~Randolf Lowry~
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
((((Jamie))))


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,399
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,399
This will be coming for me soon, though thankfully, I will not have to see my husband. Even though I think I've accepted it all, I think it will still be hard.

Do something special for yourself today. I'll be thinking of you...I know it's hard.


~*~My Old Signature is too long~*~
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
{{Mainegirl}}


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
Hi Jamie,

I don't know if I ever posted to you before but I am sorry to hear about your D.I am going to be there too soon after almost 2 years.I must say that your D came quickly after your DDay.But I hope that you will have better days ahead.I know I will not being married to a selfish adulterer anymore.And I too will have my darling girls and my beloved home.For that I feel grateful.

Much luck and good health to you and your children!

O


BW(me)40 DDay 10/11/03 Divorcing 'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1 ~Let Higher Minds Prevail~ --------------- ~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
((((((((Jamie))))))))
Take comfort where you can. You know you did all you could and it may seem like it is a long way away but there is a brighter future for you and your kids. Did you see the update from faithinme? I'll bump it up if I can find it.

Last edited by confused42; 09/29/05 10:36 AM.

aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,873
{{{{{{{Maingirl}}}}}}}}}}


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
Oh mainegirl. I am so sorry - it is so hard. You know - maybe you will feel a sense of freedom for all the bagage he brought into your life now. HUGs to you my girl.


married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
Thank you everyone!!

It's been almost a week and I am doing pretty good. The kids are all doing well... and that makes me feel a sense of peace.

Just since the divorce (not quite a week mind you)I have learned to change a flat tire...twice, in two days no less..lol... and tonight I get to make a trip into our local Home Depot to buy a faucet to replace the one that I accidently broke today....oops..hehe..

Seems like I'm getting a crash course in everything this week...LOL..

On the upside of things things though... I finally have a job, working in a local coffee shop...nothing that is going to bring in tons of $$ but it will get me moving in the right direction.

So- thank you again for your support and kind words.

Take care,

~Jamie~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me (40)
WH (39)
Married May 4,1991
4 kids S(18)D(17)D(13)S(11)
He left March 14,2005
Informed about MOW (co-worker) March 23,2005
I filed for D in June 2005
Divorce final - Sept.28,2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace is not the absence of conflict: It's that state we can deal with conflict effectively, efficiently and respectfully.
~Randolf Lowry~
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
I survived Christmas... it was awesome actually.. my DS 19 and DIL gave me a wedding picture of all of us (minus the ex as he wasn't invited), it was a beautiful picture I will treasure forever.

The ex has had the kids since Tuesday.... tonight I am feeling really alone and miss them terribly..this is the longest that he has had them...it is crazy but I miss him (XH) so darn much right now.. I wish things could just be like they were (minus the online affair stuff and the PA crap)... I don't want to be alone, I don't want the headache of being a land lady... I feel overwhelmed and lonely.... naturally no-one in my life understands the pain that I still feel over this... it really sucks.... I can't talk to anyone as they would look at me as if I was crazy to still feel this way after almost a year.. but I do... my love for him went so very deep I just can't shake it..ya know? I hope that 2006 is just better all around, I can't take a whole lot more...

Sorry to whine..... but I needed to get my feelings out and I've no other place to go. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day..hopefully.

Happy New Year to everyone!!


Take care,

~Jamie~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me (40)
WH (39)
Married May 4,1991
4 kids S(18)D(17)D(13)S(11)
He left March 14,2005
Informed about MOW (co-worker) March 23,2005
I filed for D in June 2005
Divorce final - Sept.28,2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace is not the absence of conflict: It's that state we can deal with conflict effectively, efficiently and respectfully.
~Randolf Lowry~
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,788
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,788
Keeping you in my prayers! You're doing awesome! You just haven't realized it yet <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Blessings,


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Quote
I hope that 2006 is just better all around, I can't take a whole lot more...
You will get better Mainegirl, you'll see. Before you lay to sleep every night ask God to heal your broken heart. He will do it while you are sleeping.


Blessings,
Lady

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 128
Thankyou Peach and Ladysheep....

For the most part I'm doing good and seem to be moving ahead with my life, then out of the blue I start thinking about what was and what could have been... I loved him so much... and sadly, I still do......


~Jamie~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me (40)
WH (39)
Married May 4,1991
4 kids S(18)D(17)D(13)S(11)
He left March 14,2005
Informed about MOW (co-worker) March 23,2005
I filed for D in June 2005
Divorce final - Sept.28,2005
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace is not the absence of conflict: It's that state we can deal with conflict effectively, efficiently and respectfully.
~Randolf Lowry~
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
{{Jamie}}


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 161 guests, and 50 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
AventurineLe, Prisha Joshi, Tom N, Ema William, selfstudys
71,963 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,964
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5