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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 710
L
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L
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 710
Hi,

Know the theory of Dr. Harley's about "love bank withdrawals". Well, my account is so withdrawn - that that's why I really don't want to get back into a relationship.

Someone can say it's about "forgiveness". Well, for me, it's about being burned so badly I have felt BBAR (Burned Beyond All Recognition).

I'm in emotional withdrawal from all men, actually. There's only one that's really the one for me - and his account is so withdrawn - I don't want to let him make a deposit.

I love him. Was a true "love at first sight" that has stuck for years. But I won't let him near me to make a deposit.

So it's his fault, really. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Faint heart never won fair lady.

A man would have to be quite courageous of heart to venture to try to make a deposit.

I'm so far in the red - only God can save me. lol

At least I'm past panic attacks... but if he tries to get to know me - I don't know what I'd do.

Those are my twisted, warped, dysfunctional thoughts.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Laura

Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
So, don't worry about dating right now. Take care of yourself. Only you and God, working together, can heal your heart. So, just take it easy. I didn't date for something like 4.5 years after my x left.

The first year, I just struggled to survive.
The second year, I just rested and tried to regain normality
The third year, I worked on getting the divorce.
The fourth year, I began to move forward.

So, don't stress over it. Work on yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Right now, it sounds like, you have nothing to give emotionally. And that is ok - for now. Eventually it will come.

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 505
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 505
Not warped, not twisted, and not dysfunctional. You simply understand that you are not ready to love again. What's "wrong" with that? Actually, I see your post as evidence of your being emotionally healthy.

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,108
Laura,Laura,Laura

First off
How are you!? (other than what I see from this post)

Glad to see you went back to your home town where you belong. You got a pool there <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ? Need a new pool guy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Now first I'll bash you and tell you what I think, before I say what I mean.

Men aren't all bad, you are just making a bad choice in "The One"
I don't mean any disrespect, but you have not gotten any return on the devotion that you have given him. You are an incredible person with a lot to offer to whoever is lucky enough to receive it. I don't believe that he has let you get close enough for you to truly love him. I don't believe that he has become the person that you want to love. I don't believe that he has made the changes in his life that you require to give soooooo much of yourself to.

That said! For what I know of you, I would have the courage to make a deposit. I would even go all in for long term equity.

All my best wishes to you

WIWH

Last edited by Wished I WereHome; 09/30/05 10:20 PM.

Don't pick the scabs or you will never heal
Marilyn Manson

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