Its late as usual when I can get on but here goes, just a little though. I have worked 2 to 3 jobs at a time for several years to support my familys needs to keep from borrowing as we had to do for several year early in our marriage. Its been hard on us both. I guess she was looking for someone to talk to or was lonely.So was I.I was refused however and she always wanted something more or else.I always put my family first and waited for my turn as thier needs were important,Lets see ,she fell in love,wanted a d,couldnt get w him asked me back,misses him ,felt wnfair not to let it run its course,insists I quit my working ,take meds,stop crying,feeling sad,I must wine and dine her,submit to her instructions,allow her to say when and how,etc.calls me postal and scary.<BR>well,I really shouldnt go on, otherwise,she is the most interesting person Ive ever met,funny,pretty,caring,sensitive,and smart too.I do love her.Its just getting hard to live this way and being called horrible and uncaring. HELP GOD HELP

You are not horrible and uncaring. Far from it. <P>Horrible and uncaring - is mean and indifferent. I don't think you are like that at all. You might be like my husband, he's not horrible and uncaring - but High strung - determined - and capable. It comes out to me sometimes as unloving and selfish.<P>It's like he knows exactly where he is headed, and how he's gonna get there. And I can come along for the ride - because the destination is determined by him, without consultation with me, and he has decided that the destination is for my best interests. His intentions are good, his methods stink, and I feel like a piece of furniture vs. a real person with feelings!<P>Is this how you are? Is your personality styles clashing, I mean your hearts meet but your heads clash?<P>

3wishes, despite what's been going and how you two feel the last few days, I really think you guys are getting closer to resolving stuff. It's just that the closer you are, the harder it gets...<P>That list you gave your wife over the weekend; the demands sound slightly unreasonable, but I'm sure you guys can compromise on stuff. Work on that list and hammer out a compromise deal that you both can enthusiastically agree on!<P>--andy

Hey sweetie,<P>I know how hard you work and I appreciate you more than I can ever say. I love you very much and think you are the most beautiful man on earth. I don't expect you to change any more. I just want us to work things out because we deserve to find peace, love and happiness together.<P>Please don't be sad or angry any more. Take care of yourself, get stronger by eating and sleeping a bit better, and know that I am not giving up on us that easily.<P>I LOVE YOU!! <P>------------------<BR>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<BR>

Jeeeez, you guys!!!<P>You are both so tired, emotionally drained and have so much love for each other............<P>Gosh, I WILL DONATE a Kidney - just yank it out of me.....if someone could get my H to come here and even just read something.<P>You two will be able to have a fantastic marriage with all the tools and communication skills you have picked up.<P>It will take some time....why shouldn't it? It took time to get messed up so it will take time to make it better!!<P>Just do all you can to make each other feel like #1. OK?<P>A BIG HUG for each of you!!<P>Sheba

Hope this is okay with everyone...<P>My H said he was gonna read this tonight, and I want to make it easy to find...<P>Thanks for your understanding about bringing it up to the top

3 Wishes, you guys are gonna make it. I can see the effort you both are giving. All in all, this huge dive in your relationship is going to be a short time in comparison to all the years you have had together and all the years you can have in the future.<P>Your future years are the ones that count.<P>Hang in there!<BR>TNT