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I would tape the answering machine message somehow.
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Lady,
DD just talked to WH he says he will get me some money as soon as he can.....
Seems he told her he taled to the attorney and and the attorney wants a list of what I want from the house... Just my personal stuff... WH says he wants none of the furniture or anything just his personal stuff..... His attorney wants this list....
Why should I amke a list of my persnal stuff? .... He has really gone to an attorney and is really doing this .....
I am so torn up right now I can't think straight.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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[quoe]DD just talked to WH he says he will get me some money as soon as he can.....[/quote] Oh, good! Seems he told her he taled to the attorney and and the attorney wants a list of what I want from the house... Just my personal stuff... WH says he wants none of the furniture or anything just his personal stuff..... His attorney wants this list.... Don't do this, but don't tell him that you won't do this until after he gives you money. You have not recieved a letter or anything from a lawyer requesting this, so don't do it.
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As far as divorce things go, you don't do anything accept with your lawyer!!! No lists...nothing!!
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Hurting -
Your WH is sickening my stomach right now. My prayers are with you and I pray that God will provide for you. I pray that he will open your WH's eyes and see the destruction and pain he is causing. I pray that you will be given a quiet strength to deal with this.
Blessings,
Kimberly
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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I'm serious Hurting... this is so important... not to make any divorce negotiations with out a lawyer!!
Tell him you would need to see his request for a list in writing from his lawyer if he asks again.
Love, Lady
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hurting... Have you looked at these website? They give some information about free/low cost legal aid...Don't know if they have anything for you since you need to put in your ZIP to check it out.... http://www.oklaw.org/OK/index.cfmor http://www.oklaw.org/OK/StateChannelResu.../71/bAllState/0Also, Have you looked carefully on http://www.okdhs.org/programs/programs.htmOklahoma department of human services: I understand you have bills, but now given your low income you will (or should since your H's income is NOT part of your Household income - just tell them it is not) qualify for service assistance with things like phone, electricity, gas etc....most of these have lower fees ...you might want to look into that... I find it hard to believe you don't qualify for food stumps...if you do then that alone can be used as proof for these other componies (like phone, gas etc) that you are a low income family and you qualify for the low income services that they offer...I looked and your phone company does offer that...and it sounds like the heating does as well... Have you looked into Temporary Assistance for Needy Families? The website just above has a link to it... I agree with a poster above (don't know the name) but you really are in a situation where your family needs these services temporarly...so you need to just keep 'harasing' these agencies! If you are weak they don't help...got to be tough! If you had the money, would you file for D right now? Is that something you are even considering doing? Daisy
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Then when you see your lawyer he can do everything.
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Hurting...
Have you thought of posting to the people under 'devorced/devorcing'....
It is not as frequanted as here BUT there are people dealing with devorce and they may have something to say regarding making a list or not....
They may also be able to help with other legal questions....
Just a thought...
Daisy
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hurting, I don't recall if you said you have food stamps or not but...have you looked at the website... http://209.48.219.49/fns/index.jsp you can check out on your own if you qualify.... Note, a household there is defined as people living together making meals together...hence your H is NOT part of your Household...so his income would definatelly not be part of the Household's income... The following are gross income standards for households up to eight persons. $1037 $1390 $1744 $2097 $2450 $2803 $3156 $3509 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Even if you don't want food stamps (and I really don't see why you would not if you cannot cover the bills)..it will help you establish that you are in need of assistance.... I really hope you have looked into this carefully... Your phone company requires some proof of low income such as food stamps before they give you the lower rate: http://www01.sbc.com/Products_Services/Residential/ProdInfo_1/1,,1178,00.html here is the application I would think that Low-income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP) would take food stamps also as a sign of low income.... Best, Daisy Daisy
Last edited by white_daisy; 10/15/05 02:49 PM.
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Thank you all for your concern and help..... Daisy I will check into these things you have mentioned.....
To be honest Daisy I have no desire for a divorce..... I know that may be hard to believe after everything he has done... But I still truly believe he is not in his right mind and that OW is pressuring him a lot....
But no matter what happens I do know someday he will pay for all he has done. And I do believe he live to regret this all....
As for myself I will be ok and make it..... Lady I am not making any lists of anything.... He wants it his attorney will have to request it in writting.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Well the phone company is the least of my worries right now... The phone was cut off about a month after he left because he never gave me enough to pay it.... I am sure I will have to pay off that first before they would give me a phone back....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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hurting,
I understand about the Divorce....I also don't want one and cannot imagine dealing with it now....
Yet if your H does file you will need to look into it carefully....(I know the money is a problem...so I hope the website above helps....)
I have a feeling your H is deep in the fog....it could be that OW is pressuring him and him asking you for a 'list' is a way to show her "see I am getting on this D"...so he might not be actually wanting it ....but nevertheless you need to be ready that it could happen, he could file.....I really hope he does not for your sake....
hang in there..
Daisy
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I've been busy and have not had the chance to read over all of your responses...
HOWEVER, DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD THAT HE SAYS....ESPECIALLY TO AND THROUGH YOUR DAUGHTER!! HE IS A WH..MANIPULATIVE AND DECEPTIVE....
I think he is trying to bait you into contacting him and/or getting angry..this is to continue to justify his affair...
What I meant about Social Services is garnishing his check...I think they can go after him if they know he has money and is not giving it to you...
Do they know this???
I can't not see them enabling abandonment... I know of people who work there who go after spouses who do not pay for the care of their families..
I haven't begun to tell you all the awful things that my FWH did..sometimes to bait me into anger..sometimes he won..you know about our physical fight...
THIS INFIDELITY STUFF IS AWFUL...
All I can say is that I know that WHes can change and can come back home once out of the fog...
WHILE IN THE FOG, HE IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND..HE IS TEMPORARILY INSANE....JUST LIKE A DRUG ADDICT...YOU NEED TO TREAT HIM AS SUCH...PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST HIM....DO NOT FALL INTO HIS TRAPS....
DO NOT CONTACT HIM.....DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT HE IS SAYING ABOUT HAVING CONTACTED A LAWYER...THE LAWYER CAN/WILL CONTACT YOU IF NECESSARY....
HE HAS MANAGED TO RUIN YOUR ENTIRE WEEKEND.....
Last edited by mimi1254; 10/15/05 03:01 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I have a feeling your H is deep in the fog....it could be that OW is pressuring him and him asking you for a 'list' is a way to show her "see I am getting on this D". I am thinking the same way also. When a person is getting divorced, they just don't ask for a list like that....lawyers would, but not the spouse. So I think this is just a way of continuing his drama!! So we will cast that weapon right out of his hands. Love, Lady
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I agree with the post that Lady just quoted..
I said this to you yesterday...
He is jerking you around...
I hate that....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Oh I believe it is going to happen. He has spoken to the attorney from what he told DD. This is the same attroney we used in a case years ago with our DD.
He has told my MIL a few months ago he would not represent WH because he knew all of us but I guess he has changed his mind... So I know this man.
Now what really got me with this conversation DD had with WH is he kept saying his list only has his personal stuff on it as he wants none of the furniture or anything... So I said then if thats te case why do I need to ake a list. That should mean I get everything left after his personal stuff is gone.... He told DD no she only needs to list her personalstuff she wants..... Now this made no sense to me at all.... Why would an attorney want a list of my personal stuff ?????
But either way I am making no list of any kind for him....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Hurting,
He is probably lying? Why can't you see that?
You are back listening to what he is saying to your daughter...
HE IS IN THE FOG...THE FOG IS REAL...HE IS A A CHEATING, LIAR!!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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he says the lawyer told him he needs a list written by me.... For what reason I have no idea..... Why would he want my own personal stuff listed and not the furniture, eltronics and such.... He told DD we did not need those things on the list just my personal stuff....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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In PLAN B, there is supposed to be NO CONTACT...
Didn't we say earlier that your DD is not supposed to report back what he says to you...
This was for your protection and now you are listening...
Let his ACTIONS speak louder than his WORDs...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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