|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
yes Mimi I believe you ......
I told DD she I don't want to hear any more about it ....
she says what do you want me to tell him if he asks.... I told her to tell him I have said nothing about it so she has no answer for him....
Do you think he is panicing now or what ????
I just wish I had some kinda clue ....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
Hurting,
Mimi's right, no contact...
Only money and children...through 3rd party
Any divorce stuff through lawyers only...
Nothing about divorce matter talked about to DD...this has to be clear to him!!
Is there anyone that can be a 3rd party besides DD?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
No not really his sister pulled out , she is so disgusted with him.... Well I fiugre it this way if I don't talk to DD about this and she can give him noanswers then he will eventually leave her alone about it....
Because if I say nothing to her or give answers through her then he will see I am not talking about it, and he will have to just do it another way , lawyers or whatever....
To be honest in a way if the cell phone is cut off then I don't have to worry about him calling her to talk.... Maybe for right now it will be a blessing to have it cut off then no communication at all.. It's not like I can't use my MIL phone she is only 7 houses away and I do have a key yo her house if I need to use one...
Last edited by hurtinginokla; 10/15/05 04:41 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
Well Hurting.....He does know this.... that he is screwed if you get a lawyer!!
Love, Lady
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
Because if I say nothing to her or give answers through her then he will see I am not talking about it I think that is perfect! Good thinking!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Tahnk you Lady.... It took me a little bit to think of that but it finally came through.....
But of course he does know where i live .... to bad for me because I would not put it past him to show up here ....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
I hope someday soon Oklahoma no fault divorce laws change.
It's terrible no fault divorces being granted due to incompatability. Making the divorce rate higher.
We need to all pray about that too.
NY is a fault state. Divorce can only be granted under Adultery, mental cruety, or abandonment. And it has to be proven.
Love, Lady
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
I agree lady it way to easy to walk out of a marriage. If I had the money I would counter file for adultry .... Okla does recongnize that as one of five things you can use.
But either way he will have to pay..... You just can't walk out of a 24 yr marriage and think you will get away scott free.... I am just gooing to have to wait and see what happens now.... I still am going to make a lot of calls monday before I have to go to work at 11:00 ... Maybe I will get some help.... I pray so
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
If I had the money I would counter file for adultry .... Okla does recongnize that as one of five things you can use. Well you haven't seen a thing....soooo. But it is good, for those who need to divorce for the "right" reason. Love, Lady
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Why does he do this to me? If he wants a divorce why does he think he needs to tell me anything or ask anything... Just file the darn thing and let the court handle it....
My mom has been dovorced here in Okla.I talked to her today and she said that you don't need any of this stuff or lists to file.... you just file and then once attormeys are involved thats when lists and all that other stuff comes into play.... So she says he is just trying to get to me ....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
My mom has been dovorced here in Okla.I talked to her today and she said that you don't need any of this stuff or lists to file.... you just file and then once attormeys are involved thats when lists and all that other stuff comes into play.... So she says he is just trying to get to me .... Mom, is sooooooo right!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
Does your mom live nearby?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
I feel like he is playing head games with me .....
Maybe he will file bit I think he is trying to get me to agree to stuff before he does so this can go easy for him... Because think about it if I give him a handwritten list with just my personal stuff listed on it, that would be like me saying thats all I want.... then he can argue I only put on the list what I wanted...
I am starting to see some OW sneakiness playing into this ... I do believe she is behind most of this .....
She better hope I don't run into her in a dark alley somewhere......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
No my mom now lives in Virginia..... that where I was when all this came out..... At her house and believe me she watched me fall apart for 2 weeks before I cpould get home... She is so disguted with WH right now its not funny.... But yet she stands behind my descsion to save my marriage.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
I feel like he is playing head games with me ..... Yes, remember the mobile, but you are no longer playing. You are in Plan B, no contact, no playing. am starting to see some OW sneakiness playing into this ... I do believe she is behind most of this ..... Yep, me too! She better hope I don't run into her in a dark alley somewhere...... Yep, me too!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
I'm not sure why you are thinking like this.
Nothing has changed from our previous posts to you, including Lemonman's post.
Your WH is following the typical WS Script..
He does not really want a divorce even though he says so...
He is doing this, IMO, to get you riled up and to keep you connected to him.. He'll take a negative connection over no connection.. Don't you see?
I hate it that this is working for him...
You are continuing to spend time trying to figure him out...
Focus on YOURSELF, Hurting...
He is not functioning like a normal, reasonable person....
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Like Lady says, the FOW in my situation pressured my H about divorce too. That's part of it as well.
He's playing both of you for as long as he can...
That's the way I see it...
Let's remember the purpose here...
DARKNESS SO THAT HE CAN MISS YOU...
He is continuing to have a connection with you through your daughter....
SO SORRY THAT THIS IS HAPPENING TODAY....
Get back on the horse, Hurting....ride back into the DARKNESS...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Mimi,
I know you are probably right about this.... I just in a tailspin when I hear the word divorce.....
I have no responded to him at all.... While DD was on the phone I said nothing..... So I am just going ot ignor it all and see what happens....
Mimi believe me I want to believe he does not want this to happen but I have to be realistic as well and be prepared in case it does happen....
I mean he can only keep these lies up for so long. Eventually he is going to have make some kind of action move. Either towards me or filing to keep OW hanging on... I really believe she has given him a ultimatum about this... He now has to prove to her he wants her.... I could be wrong but something tells me I'm not ....
So with that said will he go so far as to do it to keep her hanging on? Or will he finally figure out its not what he wants and move on away from her..... Because I do believe this will not be a long term thing for him ot make a descsion.... I have the feeling she has given him only a little time to do this..... She is not going to listen to many excuses on why its taking so long.... Now these are just my opinions but they may be close..... But then again I could be way off here
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Hurting:
Focus on your own agenda...what YOU need to do...
Get the money that you deserve from him one way or the other...
Don't worry about D per se...
I'm going out...
Will check with you later...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Have fun Mimi ...... ty for being here today
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
649
guests, and
67
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
