Better to be prepared just in case!!! Sounds like you have your plan ready!!!

Kim

Just talked to SIL , WH came by and picked DS up to go with him on the road until Friday. I am happy DS is having some time with his dad. Anyhow he told her since his pay stubs are coming to our house he would like to have them.

I told her no problem .... Well before he gets them I am making copies of them .... What a stupid head if he wants them he should have made sure of where they were being mailed.

Yeah I do Kim but I don't think its going to happen that way....

In fact he was in town today and picked DS at 2 pm. Now he didn't even try to see DD or anything. In fact MIL asked me if I had heard from him about any money. I said no, so seems he has no intentions of giving me any. I guess if he had called DD he knew he would be asked for money....

Just wait til the lawyer stuff hits him!! Boy is he going to be in for a big surprise. DS doesn't ask him about $$,huh??

Kim

No I would not ask DS to do that..... He has enough problems handleing all of this.....

MIL told me on th phone she would talk to me tomorrow as she was over SIL, makes me wonder if WH said something to SIL when he saw her today..... Maybe he saw an lawyer while he was in town..... who knows

Good morning,

I do find it odd that your WH has the check stubs coming to your home. Why didn't he change the address for his checks when he changed accounts? He is trying to make some think he is still living at home with you. I wonder if his new account has your address on it as well? You will get his bank statements there if it is. Now why would he do that? Does he feel uncomfortable putting OW's address as his address?

I'm wondering now... if he has stopped giving you money, now has moved out, that you accept his check stubs coming there. Could you get a message to him, now that he no longer resides there, that his mail should go to OW's, not where he does not live, your home. Of course doing it after you get your first copy of one.
Or put "return to sender, does not live here" on the check stubs envelopes. What do you think? Is he continuing your address, covering his tracks, so people don't know he has really moved out of the marital home? Or doesn't he feel comfortable having his address as OW's? Or send all his mail to him registered by mail to OW's so you have a copy of his signature when he recieves it there, but he is always on the road, so that would be difficult to get a signature.


Just a few thoughts.....

Love, Lady

Lady,

I wish I knew the answers to those questions. I have no idea why he is using my address. I was with him when he filled out the application and he used our address. I figured he would change it when he went back to work.

All of his mail still comes here.But he really didn't get anything anyway but magazines and stuff. As far as his bank statement who knows what address he used. Guess Iwill find out if the new one comes here.

I do know he tried to get a cell phone and they tunred him down because he needed a deposit and they sent the reject letter to him mom's house last month. She gave it to me and I trashed it. He never knew he got it.

OW has a po box which I know, but they have no clue I know it. He was stupid enough to leave a paper with all her information on it when he moved home last time. I have it put up for safe keeping.

I like the idea of sending it back ot his job saying he does not live here. Return to sender..... That is after I open it and make copies.

I can't imagine why he would feel uncomfortable using her po box, heck they have his name on the answering machine for anyone who calls to hear.

He is really being stupid, like my brother told me yesterday and the attorney said he may think he won't have to pay alimony but he is in for a rude awakening. He has told his sister and others he won't have to pay me. His sister told him Ok just think what you want you'll see. That kinda makes me think he has not talked to a lawyer because I would think they would tell him he will have to pay.

Oh well we shall see.

Well, it's good you have OW's address for LS papers to be sent there.

I don't know if you should continue to let his mail come there or not. It doesn't seem right because he no longer resides there. He would be shocked if you "returned to sender" all of his mail. Well if he lives at OW's I think all his mail should go there, what do other MB'ers think?

Love, Lady

Or put "return to sender, this man lives at OW's (give address).

Love, Lady

I agree lady, he should have his mail come to OW's but he has shown so far that he will use mine or his mothers address for his mail. Something tells me if I send it back to his job he will change it to his sisters address. Maybe he should get himself a po box.....

I do wonder what address he used for his new account .. I would be willing to bet you he used his sisters address. If he is so happy living at OW why won't he use her address?

Or put "return to sender, this man is having an A with OW, (give her name) and lives with her at (give address). That would be a great way of exposing him on the job. What do you think? Plus it would probably shock the both of them.

Love, Lady

I thought about that Lady.... I thought about putting them in an envelope with a note ....

WH does not live at this address with his family, you can send this to him at his G/F address blah, blah blh...

guess that would be a LB huh???

Would definatley expose him to his work ...

LOL Lady great minds think alike

I wonder if new account statement is sent to SIL, if she would be willing to send it back to the bank saying "return to sender, my brother does not live here, he lives at his mistresses address, (add OW address here)"
Hey it would be the honest thing to do.

Love, Lady

yes it would but I don't think she would do it ..... She is disgusted with him but is trying to keep the lines of communitcation with him for the kids sake...

She has told him what a fool he is and how he is wrong but she is the only one he will speak to....

LOL

Well, thats okay, you could still do it with any mail that comes there.

Or you could put "return to sender, my WH does not live here. He lives with his mistress affairee in the ghetto at (give OW address)."

Love, Lady

yeah I need his mail to stop coming here.....

I just can't help but wonder why he has not changed any of it? Especially his pay stubbs. He ought to know that them coming here I would look at them and know how much he made. Makes no sense to me..... Of course none of this makes sense .......

Oh yeah another exposure happened yesterday..... The elderly lady that lives across the street we have known since we lived here for 17 yrs. She is gone a lot to her daughters home in Indiana. Anyhow she left for Indiana in June right before I left for vacation. She saw DD outside yesterday and asked were is your dad?DD told her he moved out, she said well I kind of fogured that. DD told her he was having an affair and now lived with OW. The neighbor was floored, she said how can that be... Your dad has always told me how much he loved your mom. In f ct he told me before she left on vacation how much he was going to miss her and how much he loves her.

See this is the kind of thing all our friends have said.... How can someone who just in May cry and say how worried he was about his wife and how much he loved her and always has, all of a sudden in June be in love with someone else and move out...... Makes no sense at all ..

My mom said the same thing last night.... She was like as much as WH always looked up to you and everything he did was for you and about you and how he was devoted for so many years could turn like this so quick just freaks everyone out.... Wish I had the answers

This means that he does not plan to stay with the OW and does not want her to know his personal business. He sees her as the HO that she is..He knows that he is only having fun with her and remains to see you with his wife.

Since you continue to see yourself as his wife, do not let her become knowledgeable of YOUR personal business. She may confiscate the mail and not tell him about it, make her own copies, get money out of his bank account, etc. Don't underestimate what a shameless woman may do.