Maybe so Mimi but he is asking his sister to get them from me so he can have them....

But I do know he needs them to make sure all of his trips have been paid.... This way he can keep track of all his miles.....

Maybe he just didn't think of it, he may change it all to his sisters address....

I do agree with Mimi, he continues to have it come there for that reason....

But I also think it would be a great way to expose his affair to the job people....

Love, Lady

I wish I could believe that ... But I think it was an oversight on his part. Know that he realizes it I believe he will change it to his sisters address.....

[You said: "But I do know he needs them to make sure all of his trips have been paid.... This way he can keep track of all his miles..... "


I say:

Why are you concerned about helping him with this? He is not giving you any money!

I think you are too busy with your life to get that info. to his sisters.

Let him worry about and take responsibility for changing the address. If he were home, he could easily get the info. that he needs.

I'm thinking that you might forget about this...not even say anything more about it to your SIL until she asks you again on his behalf...

Right now he is not being worthy of your assistance at all on financial matters....

Oh mimi believe me I am not going out of my way to get him anything.....

I am not going to take them to her for him. It's like the list thing he wanted it so bad but so far no more interest in it. He has not said anything to DD or SIL about it. In fact SIL blew him off when he asked her to get me to do one. I just pretend I don't hear any of it and make no moves to do anything for him...

But I am going to make copies of them just in case......

In f act I am going to scan them into my computer right now....

Your WH is acting like my YS...

Rather than being able to ask, "Do you love me?" or to say "I need reassurance today that you still love me" my YS asks me to do mundane tasks for him...

Your WH is trying to keep you dangling on that string....until he is finished with the OW..

I say let him SUFFER and COME BEGGING....

Yeah Hurting,

I think that is pretty "creepy" of him to change accounts, give you no money, only to leave the same marital residence as his residence. I wouldn't give them to him. I would copy put "return to sender, my WH now lives with his adulterous partner (give her name) not me his W. (Do not give her address.)

Then let them get address info from him, and if he then lies and says he lives at his sisters, then that will be his problem, his lie.

But also you do need those records for yourself. So I don't know what you should do....

Today is my big son's Birthday. He is Sweeeeeet 16 !! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So I gotta go....Have a great day Hurting.

May the love, peace, grace, and the blessing of God be with you and help you make all of the right decisions that need to be made. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Love, Lady

Mimi,

My friend I trust your take on this so much. I guess you are seeing things that I am not seeing....

I want him to suffer and and come begging but I truly don't see it....

I don't plan on doing anything to help him at all.... I can't its just to hard for me..... I need him to take care of this stuff himself and leave me out of it... He claims he wants to be divorced . well then lets pretend we are. Because if we were I would do nothing for him then.... Thats how I am acting now like we are divorced so he will have to do things for himself.... He just isn't getting it...

Lady,

Hope your son has a great birthday, enjoy the day with him

I am going to do nothing right now Lady I am going to pretend I have heard nothing about this. he wants to be without me so lets just do it that way then.... I am pretending he does not exsist in my life, so thats what he needs to do. If I was not around he would have to figure this stuff out on his own.

Have a great day ...

Right.

I see you as being back on target now.....

That's why we are here, HURTING...

We can see what you mignt not be able to see because you are so close to the situation...

Like I learned from Mortarman, it's a WAR that you are fignting..

It's important to continue to STRATEGIZE in order to WIN EACH BATTLE...

He keeps trying to WIN but you are waging a FIGHT and HE is LOSING....

By gaining his respect, you are showing that you are a PRIZED JEWEL that he is losing...

He evidently does not want that TRASH involved in his affairs and really is wanting for you to continue to take care of him...YUCK....

Well he is on his own for now because I have no desire to take care of him right now. Not the man he is today anyway.

I do feel he will try and come to me to get what he wants if i don't give it to his sister but that is a bridge I will have to cross when it comes...

I have a plan though if he comes here to get the check stubbs, I will not open the door and just slide it out the window to him with another copy of the planb letter and let that be it...... No words spoken......

Should I give him another planb letter if he shows up here???

I keep thinking why should I give him the pay stubbs, he knew they were going to come here and he took no steps in solving that problem....

He has choosen this path to take , he should suffer the consequences for it.....

Hurting:

I am saying this loudly...

YOUR WH DESERVES NOTHING FROM YOU!!

NOT EVEN A PLAN B LETTER!!

HE KNOWS WHAT HE NEEDS TO DO!!

IF HE COMES THERE, DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR!!

DARK, DARK, DARK....

If he acts aggressive, simply dial 911....

You are continuing to react to his requests which spoil your day.....

Mimi,

I understand.... I won't do anything... I promise.

I just returned home from the plasma center , DD and I go there and donate to make some extra money. Well anyhow one of the girls who works there saw WH and OW in Wal-Mart on Saturday.

She walked by them and WH said well arn't you going to say hello? She looked at him and said Nope and walked off.... My friends husband looked at OW and said to his wife thats not his wife, she said I know its his mistress....
She was talking about how OW looked like a B and how short and fat she is. She says what does he see in her. I told her I have no idea.

So I guess exposure is working better now , its been a slow process but people who see them in public are starting to ignor WH or being very unfriendly to them.....

Works for me !!!!!!

Ok I decided that I am going to get me a lock box and go through my desk and lock up all important papers and such...

I don't trust when I am not here that DD would not keep him out of the house. I would not put it past him to try and get in when no one is home as well....

So I will get a lockbox and put everything in it and take it to my MIL's home or something.... I don't want him getting anything without my knowledge or consent....

Does this sound like a good idea?

Your story above brought back a memory to me.
My oldest is a big time football player for his high school. When my WxH first left, he had the nerve to bring OW to the football games. They would sit to the side, watching, and when someone would pass by he would introduce her as his "girlfriend". most people thought he was joking. In the early days, before people knew that he had left, people would see me and say "where is H?" at first I made up excuses. after a while I would say "he has left the boys and I for another woman"

One Friday night, at a football game, I ran into an old friend. He said "where is H?" I said "he has left me and the boys" he looked stunned and didn't say a word, just walked away. I felt bad, thinking that I had been too abrupt and scared him off. I never saw him or talked to him again after that.

Months later, after WH and OW were no longer together, WxH confessed to me that this same friend confronted him and read him the riot act. I didn't even realize it had happened. WxH said that he was sitting with OW at the game, and this friend comes up to him and chewed him out. Told him that what he was doing was horrible, that he should be home taking care of his family, you name it. OW was there and heard the whole thing. Apprantly she was silent the whole time (very unusal for her - she is usually loud and agressive)

I must admit, I felt good knowing that this man had stood up for me and my boys, and told my Ex off. Most people just avoided him, not sure what to say. At that point I was still bending over backwards to try to "win him back". But this friend, whom we had not seen for a couple of years, stood up to my WxH and spoke up for what is right.

It is not ok to leave your wife and children for someone new.
It is not ok for a married man to parade around town with his "girlfriend".
I still haven't talked to that friend, but someday I will. And I will tell him "thank you for standing up for me".

This story is a perfect example of how things are happening, sort of behind the scenes, that you do not even know about yet. that evening, I thought I had scared that poor guy with my abrupt "he has left the boys and I". I had regrets for how I said it.
But now I realize that after I said that - he went straight to WH and chewed him out.I suspect he had all ready seen WH in the stands, and wondered what was going on, and when he heard it from me he decided to take immediate action. I thought I scared him off - in reality, he was just anxious to take action.

I also thought that people were just accepting the whole ugly scene. I realize now - they weren't.
WxH has told me of others old friends who refuse to speak to him now over his adultery. It is interesting to me. I was certain, in the beginning, that people would just automatically accept OW and that was it.

this is why I always preach - things are not what they seem. A lot is going on that you don't know about - yet.

I have a story about a friend whose H left her last eyar for OW and his A recently ended. I am going to post a new thread about it. you will want to read it.

it is a great idea.

womanoffaith,

Thank you for that story. It's funny how people react isn't it. Most of our friends that I have spoken to have already read WH the riot act. Most of them won't speak to him or are very short with him. So now he has nothing to do with them at all.

ts the people we don't really think of as close friends who make the A look even worse. This lady is not a close friend she is more like an aquantience. I was shocked by what she did but told her ty for showing him how appalled you were.She gave me a hug and said this will all work out..

I know your right there are things going on I have no idea about. I hope a lot of them bad for them. One of WH's big things was we never go anywhere anymore, well from what I am seeing and hearing they arn't doing that either because people ignor them pretty much..... When they were bowling together many people told me how WH and OW kept to themselves and no one payed them any mind. Looks like a lonely life to me......

Ok good I thought it was a good idea to, I can't take any chances he gets in and starts taking papers and stuff....

I want him to have to work for anything he gets from me....

I am looking forward to the story of your friend as well.....

It is a lonely life! and it is pathetic! I wonder how on earth these WS's could have possibly expected that they could just drop their spouse, and pick up with the OP and no one would mind.