Ok having bad morning here. I went to the bowling alley to watch DS bowl. I made sure before I went WH was not there. I was sitting with my BIL talking and next thing I know WH is standing in front of me. He gave me my bank statement and $200.00. He says to me I have taken my name off the account and here is 200.00. I said ok. He then said the bank made a mistake and sent your account statement to OW's address but its fixed now. He said you need to go to the bank and redo a signuture card. I said ok. He then walked off to the counter , so I got up and told DS I would pick him up later. I then left.

As I was leaving I saw WH leaving the bowling alley. So he came and went fast. I think I did good I did not engage him in any conversation I just ok to him.

So now he has taken his name off the bank account. He is making the break it seems. So now I am an emotional wreck just from this short encounter. It makes it all seem so real tat he is going to be gone forever with him taking his name off the account. But one thing for sure I have OW's address to make sure he can be served. I had it before but had wrong apt number so now I have the correct one.

So he now at least has some of his mail going there. His new bank statements. This just makes it all feel so final to me.

Damn him.....

Oh Hurting, I feel weird about that. There is something wrong with what he told you. It doesn't make any sense to me.

I thought he got an account in his own name a couple of weeks ago.

How could he have accidently had your statement sent to OW address? You should check with the bank to see what exactly happened there. Try to get copies of every account change he made for your records and lawyers.

I'm glad you didn't engage in conversation with him.

The bank did NOT make a mistake. C/b the OW trying to change his address for him.

Why would he take his name off a joint account? Means he can't pull funds out? Hm.... smells like an OW rat.

Pull yourself together. The WS is alive and kicking but your H is still in hiding.

Pray your H escapes.

L.

orchid,

I am going to the bank monmday to find out what happen. We had 2 joint accounts and he has opened a new account in his name. I am sure he used her address on his new account but I don't understand why the bank would change all of them to her address. I feel like he took his name of the joint account because he is moving on.

If he has taken his name off the joint account I use then no he can't draw any moeny out for sure. If his name is off then I will continue to use it if not I will open a new account in my name. My MIL wonders if OW's name is on his new account, I have no idea. That would be a stupid move if he put her on it. He did open a new account sometime last in the last 2 weeks without my name on it his pay is going into that account. I have to say 200.00 is not much but I was surprised I even got that from him.

Orchid I am praying everyday he escapes but I just am not sure it will ever happen now. He is taking such drastic steps it scars me , I know she is using him and he is to stupid to see it... This is all gonna bite him in the butt yet once she is done with him. As much as I am scred for me, I am also scared for my H and what is happening to him.

The WS does more and more stupid things as the A spirals down. Sad piece is that often includes damage to the family and finances....some of which become permanent losses. In many cases it is the finances taking the harder hit. That is why it is critical you protect your finances as best you can and tighten up your support group. Let them know what he has done.

I suspect the OW is up to more tricks. Keep an eye out. Don't stay too tense..... bad for your body.

L.

Orchid,

Thats why I am filing the LS Monday to protect myself and my money. I have let my MIL and SIL know what he did. I will let the attorney know Monday when I talk to him.

I just don't know how to take this or what it all means. I am really worried now that he is getting in so deep he will never find his way out.

I am sure she has lots of tricks up her sleeve now. I would be willing to bet all I ahve that she is behind all of his choices right now. From the bank thing to pushing for a D. I just wish I knew a way to stop her. I know he has to be the one to stop it but she is toxic and he does not see it. I am so afraid for him.

I know I will be ok once I get the legal aspect done but I do worry over him because I think she is doing a number on him. I cna't believe anyone can be so blind and stupid to not see all of this.....

Just picked up DS. I guess I was wrong about WH leaving the bowling alley. When i left and saw him in the rear view mirror I thought he was leaving.

Anyhow DS tells me that WH saw me leaving and ran out the door to stop me . He wanted to talk to me. Well I was on my way out of the parking lot when I saw him. So DS said WH came back in and finished watching him bowl. Glad I left when I did. I have no idea what WH wanted to talk about but I can't really care at this point.

That was a close one for sure....

Hang in there. Don't be surprised if her name is on his account. That is par for the course. The infidels need to find a way to legitimize their relationship. My WH got a joint account with OW immediately.

Oh I would not be surprised at all...... Just another lesson he gonna learn the hard way I guess.....

I am proud of myself how I handled it all this morning though and very glad I left when I did to avoid a conversation with him....

I was strong and did not show any emotion with him but unfortunaley I fell apart once I got home.

Watch for more contact this weekend.

Oh believer I don't expect him to try and make any contact. I think him finding me at the bowling alley wa a fluke... he was by himself , he knew I came home I think if wanted to make contact he woould have tried today after he left there....

Well the mail just came and he got his 401K papers in the mail from his last job. It a signature page for either rolling it over into his new job or taking the money out and having it paid directly to him. I am not giving him this paperwork. I will ask my attorney what I should do. I donb't want him to get this money out and spend it.

Once I file can the judge freeze it or something to protect it from being used? I don't want him to get it all and then I get nothing from it.....

Good plan. My WH took his retirement bonus - $25,000, and also his retirement savings - $25,000, and blew it all in less than 4 months. Like a dummy, I let him do it. He promised he would give me some of it. Well, he did - $50.

I would feel better if he bought ANYTHING. It was all spent on wining and dining, traveling to Hawaii for 2 weeks, trips to Las Vegas, tatoos for OW, etc.

Well I will talk to the attorney and see what he says. There may be nothing I can do but we will see.

I just worry he will do such stupid stuff then in the end we will a pay the price for it finacially....

What an idiot he is being...... I sure wish he would hit rock bottom soon before he drags all of us further into ruin...

emotionally and finacially....

I still have lots of hope for you and hubby. Your situation is MUCH different than mine.

To begin with, WH had a lot of issues from his family of origin. That whole bunch of them are loonies.

Also he ran off with a woman 20 years younger than me. She was willing to abandon her daughter to devote herself solely to my WH.

I also did NO Plan A. I booted WH on D-day. I followed that by LBing for 3 months - before I found this place.

You have been doing quite well.

Believer,

Hope is what I need right now. He has done so many stupid things I just don't know anymore... Well one thing i can say OW is only 5 yrs younger than me and believe looks older and used.... Everyone can't see what he see;s in her.... It sure isn't looks or charm....

He says he is going to file but so far nothing. I do know he called the attorney but so far he has gotten no calls back. This is the attroney who said he would not take the case.

Plus with me filing LS monday I don't know how he will react. But I can't worry about that. I have to protect me and DS.

WH has not tried any contact since the 4th of this month. I don't think it would have today happened either. I think its just a coensidence we both ended up at the bowling alley because he had not been going for a long time.

I do believe that he will get it one day. I can't imagine that he will give up his whole family for this woman. there is no way she can replace everyone his family of origin and myself and the children. I guess now its a wait and see situation.... The waiting is getting to me though......

Hurting, I think WH wanted another reaction out of you.
You handled it well. He is beginning to get the picture you are not falling for his games.

I think he planned to find you being the weekend his time off. He may have went by your house to see if you were home, saw that you weren't there then went to the bowling alley to see if you were there. Or someone may have informed him you were at the bowling alley.

It seems by his pattern that he has planned to give you 100.00 wk, only because about 3 weeks ago when he first changed his account, I remember you said he only left you 100.00. Then he missed last week, then paid you 200.00 total today to make up for last week and this wk.

I for some reason don't think he has put his account as joint with OW.

He will be surprised when LS procedures are completed.

Lady

No one knew I was at the bowling alley. I didn't tell DD I was going there. So he had no clue. He knew DS would be t here bowling so maybe he was going to give him the money to give me, I have no idea. I just believe it was by chance we both showed up there. I don't really think he was seeking me out. But once he found me he did want to talk I think by the way he came outside after me.

But what I think is strange is how DS said after I ran out WH came fast to the door and went out and saw me leaving. He wanted to talk to me. I thought he was leaving so I got away quick. But DS said WH came back in after he saw me leaving. I am so glad I got away fast enough.

I don't think he came by here DD was home and outside she would have told me if he came by. She has not talked to him at all.

yes I think he will be surprised by my action as well. Anger will probably be more like it.... Thats the first time I have seen him or heard his voice in weeks. It really played with my emotions bad.....

Yes, he may have planned to give the money to DS, but I think he was planning on giving you money. Only because it has been a pattern for him to give you money. He still feels financial obligations to you.

You said prior that he needed the statements to do his mileage, and job paperwork etc...He knew he couldn't do that through you anymore, due to plan B, and his move. But I don't think he made a joint account with OW.

It sounds like he wanted to talk, get a reaction. He thought you would be angry last week when he didn't give you money, change accounts, etc...and he probably expected a million calls from you and he didn't get it. But at least he gave you some money, be thankful for that. Maybe he wanted a big thankyou or something today too, and he didn't get that either. His head is probably spinning as to what to think of this big change in Hurting. He's probably thinking wow she doesn't really care anymore. She isn't chasing me all over. This is what is going to get him to think Hurting.

Today he saw you run as fast as you could away from him.
It's good he saw you do that. A visual picture he will not forget.

He's not happy Hurting, as much as the devil and some people may want you to believe. His world is crumbling and he will feel it more and more.

Speaking of his paystubs. I didn't get the one for this week so I am assuming he has now changed that as well. So in a way I am glad I got the first 2 it sets precident as to what kind of money he is making.

well I am glad he gave me the money, but it sure isn't going far. But at least he didn't cut me off totally.

I wish I could believe he is not happy. I don't think he truly is happy but he seems to think so. I think if he really looked deep inside his soul he would see this as well. I guess when you are doing the things he is you have to push any real feelings way down deep to be able to live wit yourself. But you can only stuff those feelings for so long before they come exploding out.

Yeah he saw me run away from him I am not sure thats a good thing or a bad thing. I know he knows I love him , but I do think he is starting to see I am not going to play anymore. He will even figure that out more when he is served. Glad I won't be there for that. Let OW hear him rant and rave about it..... But of course she will comfort him and tell him what a B I am ..... sounds like it will be fun day for them when it happens....

Yes, he is going to find out how complicated he has made everything.

But I know everything is going to get better for you and your family. You'll see.

Lady