Well I am getting all my papers ready for tomorrow.... My stomach is in knots getting all of this stuff together.

I am so worried about how he is going to react to this. My fear will not stop me though.

I just wish he would wake up and see whats happning around him.

he just talked to DD and told her he won't be coming by to see her but if he gets in early enough on friday he will come by and pick her up and spend time with her.

Why do I feel like my life is standing still? While everyone else around me including WH is moving on.

I am just so lonely and crave companionship so much. Not for SF reasons just for conversation and and some affection would be nice. Just someone to hold me and allow me to cry it all out. I won't cry or vent in front of the children anymore as it just upsets them.

I am tired of holding all of this in. I feel anger just ready to bust out along with great sorrow. I just want to yell and scream and WH and tell him how I feel and how much he has hurt me. I hate feeling like this.

Id'd do the whole bag packing thing I think I suggested to Eav to do...

And I'd send out message kinda foggy one btw..to MUTUAL friends who WILL WAG TONGUE TO WH...that "you are unable to take this anymore and just want to find happiness".

I'd create something to make WH freaked out a little...like maybe you're not alone on this trip?

Just do something foggy when it's served! It does work! I promise. Do something giving appearance of your "moving on"...it has had some effect on a wS.

Peachy,

He does not talk to any of our mutual friends anymore. He has blown them off as well.

I do have to be away from here though next weekend if he is going to be served. I don't want to be around just in case.

He may do nothing but I don't want to be here to find out.

I think I may take DS and go somewhere together for the weekend. Maybe to OKC to the zoo or something and stay the night if I can afford it.... at least its 80 miles away....

{{{{{{{hurting}}}}}}


Once I was in my car at a railroad track...when the train went by, I just screamed in my car...it was so freeing...I knew noone could hear me and I really needed to get it all out.......might be worth a try

Hurting, I read your letter to WS...this is a good way to get it out as well...I have writen a number of letters to H since he left. I did not send any of them, but it felt good to write them...get it out.

Your letter was quite sad....yet there was strength...that is great! Once you get to this stage, you know you can make it and that you will be fine...sure there will be scars (either way) but you know there are good days ahead...

Take care...
Daisy

Daisy,

Thats a great idea screaming were no one can hear you. I think I really need to do that.

I have written many letters to him and I ve only given a few of them. That was in the beginnig when I din't know any better. He has kept them all. But I have many more saved on pc. Maybe someday I will give them to him but they did help pour out my feelings.

Strength is something I don't feel right now. I feel like i am in a deep dark hole and trying to climb out of it. I am getting there but still have a long way to go.

I will make it to the top one day of that I am sure. I just wish I get there my real H will be standing there waiting. But I am beginning to believe that is just wishful thinking on my part.

hurting

what exact;y are you filing for? (divorce. legal separation or limited divorce?)

as much as we want out H back...i do understand the need to take action for financial reasons. I did the same thing and i don't even HAVE children

eav,

I am filing for Legal seperation for now. If WH wants a divorce he can file it. I just don't have it in my heart yet to do that.

As if my weekend had not been messed up enough with my encounter with WH even more prolems arose tonight.

I went to the store before work and was getting my money out and noticed 100.00 was missing. I came straight back home and went off on DD and her friend. One of them took my 100.00. WH finally comes through with some money and someone took it out of my wallet. I usually don't keep cash on me but when I got it was to late to go to the bank yesterday. No one ever owned up to taking it so now I am out the money.

I can't believe someone took that money knowing how things have been aroud here. I was crying so hard about it. So now 2 bills I had to pay won't get paid.

Whats going to be next? This just makes me want to run away and forget everything.

Oh No!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> Did you find out who took your money?

I just wanna cry now!! Did you go through jeans, all pockets and check thier purse. That is what I would do, and I have had to do it before. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Lady

That is low!

Ground DD now! And her friend could also be the culprit! What did they do w/money if it is not accounted for?

And yes, you feel alone and unsupported now b/c the parenting team is divided...but understand, your DD may be lashing out and acting out b/c her dad is a jerk and hurting her beyond belief. I think it is acting out.

You can punish them, but let kids know they're loved and that is why you are doing it. Ask your DD if she thinks what WH is doing is ok? Or OW is doing is ok? Because OW is STEALING from your family? Ask her if stealing is right? Time you can actually grow closer and teach a huge life lesson.

Hurting:

I'm concerned about YOUR OWN discussions with your daughter about your WH..

Discussions with her about him should be stopped period...

That whole discussion asking her what he said and her telling you what he said was not good...

I also don't think it's a good idea to ask her to write a letter to him...

He is a foggy alien...

Letters to him to help him understand anything are useless right now...

It is not a PLAN B to continue to communicate with him in any fashion...

Hurting...

I know you are working on LS today.

But I also think it is improtant for you to file charges of robbery with the police. If DD and friend did it they need to be held accountable. You have to do it to teach her a lesson that stealing is wrong, and people can go to jail for it! Scare her and take this charge to court.

Hurting I had big problems with my girl from 13-18, I even had to take her to court for taking our car without our permission, age 16, she didn't even have a permit. She had done this on our wedding night. We rented a car, and left our cars here. She had stole my keys out of my purse before we left. Friend called us at our hotel the next morning saying he saw our car going down the road with a bunch of kids in it. She had taken it to another city, and wrecked it in a pole, and then drove it home.
We took her to court, they suspended her time to get a license for 2 years and a fine.

I could tell you many times I was in court with her, but it's very long.

Now she is 20 and never gets into trouble with the law. You have to be on your DD every time in order for her to learn. No enabling!!!! Don't let her get away with anything!! Press charges!!


Love, Lady

Ok I am on my out here in few minutes but I want to respond to all of you.

lady,

I have no clue who took the money. I suspect her friend did it. I called from work last night and told her friend she has to leave my home. She had been staying here with us for a little while. I told her she had until tomorrow to go. Well she left last night. DD swears she didn't so it. I can find no money anywere in the house and she has nothing to new to show for it. So I have no clue.

Peachy, I am having a discussion with DD when I get home. She will be getting a lecture about this. She knows I love her if fact I told her that after I blew last night.

Mimi,

I know the conversations about WH with DD have to stop. Every time she talkes to him she comes to me. I told her after that conversation I do not want to discuss anything more about him. She came to me last night after she talkd to him and wanted to tell me what he said about seeing her next friday. I said thats fine. I didn't ask anything more and she started to tell me more and I stopped her. I told her all I needed to know was his visitation time for her and that was it. I said I only wanted to know the time he was coming so I would be aware and avoid seeing him. She is not going to write him a letter she is just going to tell him not to ask anymore about me. Or so she says.

I have told both children I don't want to talk about him anymore. I don't want to know anything he says anymore.

You know whats so funny, I was so down after all of the things that happen this weekend but once I went to work last night, I felt so much better and felt alive. The job is really helping me become stronger and feel good. I feel like i am doing something for me even though its not the greatest job. I work mostly with younger people but they all like me and it makes me feel good.

Well after I am done with the attorney this morning I will let you all know how it went.

Do you really think they are going to tell on themselves?
Don't expect thieves to be honest! They aren't honest!

You can still go to the police and report a robbery. Tell the police there were 2 in your home. The police can question them. I would at least go that far. Let the police handle it. Don't just let this go.

And never let a teen live/stay at your home whom you don't know!
Why was the teen staying at your place? Maybe because he/she was thrown out of her/his other place? That would tell you something.

Hope things go well for you at the lawyers! Talk to ya later.

Lady

Well the deed is done. I cried all the way home.

WH will be served this coming Saturday. I am so upset right now I can't even think. I know I will have to be away somehow this weekend, I am so afraid he will come here and be angry. I am not afraid he will do anything I just don't want to have to deal with his anger.

The attorney said I will know in advance when its happening so I can be gone. I told him that WH has been saying he was going to file the D but so far nothing.He says well see how he responds to this and go from there.

I also asked him about WH's 401K papers I recieved. He said do not give them to him. We don't want him to get that money and spend it. So I will not let him know they came.

This hurts me so much, I never wanted things to go this far. I am so afraid he will now really file for the D. I guess if he does I will just have to deal with it.

I also went to the bank and made sure the address was changed back and to see if WH really took his name off the account. Since he did it over the weekend they won't know for sure until tomrrow. But I did make sure the address was correct.

This is all becoming almost to much to for me right now. I just wish WH would come to his senses, so we can stop all this stuff.....

lady,

this girl who was staying here I have kown since she was a little girl. She has been DD's friend for years I have never had any problem with her.

Her mom did kick her out and she had been staying with her grandparents and they had to go away for a funeral so I let her stay here for that time. but now I find out she hs been caught stealing from stores and such, I had no clue.

So now a leasson learned for me I guess. I told DD no one will ever stay here again. I can't allow this in my home.

DD says she will pay me the money back herself. She gets her money on the first of Dec. from a trust she has. Long story but its due to a settlement from a accident yrs ago. She gets so much every 4 months.

I know I should call the police but to be honest I am just not up to dealing with it today. My emotions are already messed up. I can't take anymore drama right now....

(((Hurting)))

Did you lawyer reassure you as to your legal rights in this situation? I am selfishly asking, I am afraid that adultery is just not that big of deal to anyone but BS's.

Hurting:

I am sorry that you have to go through this..

I am sad for all of us here...

Ask yourself, "how can he do anything worse than he has already done by betraying you?" That was the worse for me. It continues to pain me about my H....

There is no quick fix..to any of life's problems.. It took years for your marriage to come to this...It will take years for you and/or your marriage to recover...

I'm sorry..

THAT'S LIFE...

The lawyer assured me that he will have to pay and that we would counterfile for Adultry if WH files D.

Mimi,

Your right he can do nothing more that would be more hurtfull than what he has already done.

I know its going to take a long time either way this goes. But the hope for my marriage is slowly fading away from me. I feel like that he will for sure file just to spite me if nothing else now. I will just have to deal with it if it happens.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE!!

Check out my new signature line....

Mimi,

I have not given up all hope. I just feel so down today.

And your right " Anything is possibe if you Believe"

I do believe we can have a good marriage, its just getting WH to believe it to.....

Thanks for your support....