{{{{{Hurting}}}}}}

Well you have it done. That was a big step, and it shows just how much courage you have, even if you don't feel it right now. It's sad to have had to do that but WH left you no choice. I only pray God will comfort you through this?

I don't think your WH will countersue for divorce, he would only be embarrassing himself, but at least you have a plan if he does. He won't win this Hurting.

I agree with MIMI - Never give up hope! I really needed to hear that too because I just got done talking to my H on the phone. He said he was feeling hope today, and all I am feeling today is anger, and still some hurt. Glad to see he is feeling so much better, while I'm still here with hurt, having to try to train these children up in the admonition of the Lord, after H cheated, and having to carry this continual sorrow. It's not easy. I hope for the joy of the Lord to fill us all!

Love and Prayers, Lady

lady,

I d on't feel any courage at all I feel hurt beyond words.

I know I did what I had to do and I hate it.

I feel WH will take it as meanness and trying to control him. But I can't worry about that now....

I am sorry you are feeling anger and hurt today. I guess these are things we all feel after such a betrayal. Keep praying Lady god will see you through this. I have to keep telling myself that too.
I know this may not mean much but your H is trying to make things right ith you. I can only imagine how hard that is for you. But keep the hope alive and I am sure in time things will be good again.

Hurting

A bit of a threadjack here:

Lady:

I've been trying to understand your inability to FORGIVE your H even though he is REPENTANT..

You voice Christian beliefs..

Also, why are you so rageful?

Try not to give in to those ANGRY FEELINGS....

Although your anger is certainly understandable, giving into your feelings will not prove to be helpful to you at this time, LADY...

Sorry...

Yeah, I guess everytime theese feeling comes. I have to lay them at Jesus feet. I just said Jesus I lay this hurt, anger, and sorrow at your feet. Tears came to my eyes and I do feel better. If only I would remember to do that as soon as the feelings come instead of lashing out at my H.
He is trying, but not much is happening until he gets his med change next month. It's difficult to have any kind of real good recovery while he is on the meds he is on. Today I asked him "where is my H in there?" and he said "He will be there."

Hurting I wouldn't worry one bit how WH reacts when he gets the paperwork. It won't be you controlling him. It will be the "court of the law." It's part of his consequences and obligation of the 24 years you have been married and have had children with him. If he gets mean that is his problem. The good thing is is that it is out of your hands now, and God and the court are handling it now, you will feel more freedom with that. You are protected now!!

Love, Lady

Lady,

What is YOUR PLAN?

Developing a PLAN OF ACTION for YOURSELF will help you with you control your feelings...

lady,

Your right it's all out of my hands now. I have to let god and the law deal with him.

I am sure things will work out in the end. I know I will be ok. I am starting to feel a little better now. I guess it was just the reality of doing the papers that got to me this morning.

Why can't I get this out of my mind?

My stomach is just in knots today. If I feel like this today what am I going to feel like once I know he has been served?

I know a LS is not a divorce but it sure is scary to know I have had to go the legal way.

No one knows I have done this today but all of you. I called my MIL but she is not home. I am so glad I have her to talk to. She is my biggest support. DD knows nothing she asked me this morning wheree I had went, I told her to the bank and thats it. I don't want to risk him getting any warning.

I will say one thing I would like to be a fly on the wall when he gets these papers though. I would love to see the reaction from him and OW. OW will probably jumping for joy, him I have no clue.

hurting,
I doubt WH will be jumping for joy! Now, the game is over. Now the fun is at an end. Reality is going to hit him in the face. He will have to give you financial support and that is a big reallity check. He will not be happy about that, it eats into his fun with OW. He will be angry at you probably, but I would expect that his relationship with OW is going to suffer...the fun will be over!

Hang in there hurting...Saturday will be hard, but you will make it through. Try to enjoy yourself today...get some coffee, take a walk or just take a long bath....just do something just for yourself...

Daisy

Daisy,

I am sure he will be angry. It may put a small crimp in their relationship but I don't think it will be that much for now.

What will put the big crimp is if he files D and has so much more to lose like 1/2 of his retirement, court costs and attorney fees on top of CS and alimony. He stand to loose a lot. And I truly believe he does not realize this yet. I feel he believe he thinks he will walk in slap down a little money and be done.

As my attorney said he is in for big shock. I know he has no clue because of some of the stupid stuff he has said to people. we shall see what happens. I know loosing part of his retirement is going to get him.

Thank you for the support, I will be ok saturday because i plan on not being around much. I don't want a confrontation with him.....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> SMILE God Love you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It's just gonna take time and healing. Rest in the Lord.

Love, Lady

Lady,

Your right.... I will take your advice.

Hurting,

Please do plan to be away on Saturday. I am worried about you. I pray that WH does not come looking for you.

I am sorry to hear about your DD and her friend. You definitely don't need the extra drama. I was on a website today looking at all the paperwork you would need to get together for a D. I know you did a lot of paperwork, was that all for the LS?? Is it the same amount of paperwork??

I know your stomach is in knots right now. Do you have things to keep you plenty busy when you aren't at work?? Having tons of stuff to do will help you get through the week into Saturday.

Take care!

Kim

Kim,

yes they use the same paperwork for LS as for divorce.

The good thing about it is if he does file then my attorney will already have everything he needs at his disposal.

Kim I am scared of how he is going to react. I could be wrong he may do nothing but I don't feel that in my gut.
I think in his mind it was going to be ok for him to file something but for me to take a stand will be a whole different ballgame.

I think he thought I was going to just sit and take his crumbs.

I do know he is in for a big shock when he finds out how much this is really going to cost him money wise. I don't think he has any clue. I guess we will find out.....

Yeah I have lots to do its just getting energy to do them now. I feel so sick to my stomach, I layed down today and just cried myself to sleep.

Things will be ok. I am not worried about him hurting me its the verbal backlash I don't want. He has always been so good to me but every since he became a WS his verbal assaults have not been fun. Total change of character.

Thank you for your concern, all will be ok.

Exactly. You don't need that at all. Which is why I am glad you said you are planning on not being around on Saturday.

Kim

Well I just camr from signing the LS papers.

After I read them I was shocked.WH is going to be so mad when he gets these. Between spousal support/alimonyand CS he will be giving me a little over half of his pay. Then it also request $1000.00 to paid to my attorney.

It also request that no money can be withdrawn from any retirement account 401K etc..... also that he put me as Benf. on any life insurance policies.....

I know these are just requests at this time but the attorney sees no reason why they won't be granted due to my small income compared to his income....

It spells it all out very clear. Once he reads these he is going to be so shocked and mad I am sure..... I hate to be around him when he gets these.

What a reality check this will be.....

So what if he's mad, Hurting...

You rightly deserve what you are asking for...

This is the dose of reality that is absolutely necessary to break up the A....

I know Mimi he does deserve what he gets now. You wanna play you gotta pay.

I know I deserve this I am not questioning that at all.

I'm not sure it will break the A but I be willing to bet it will cause a few problems.

But I don't want him trying to come back for the wrong reasons. My mom is afraid thats what he will try just to save himself the money.

I don't know he may do nothing , its hard to say ....

Hurting you lawyer is sure pulling for you and I believe you will get all you and he are requesting.

I was thinking the same as your mom. It would definitely be the wrong reason to come back wouldn't it?

Lady

Lady,

yes it would be the wrong reason for sure.

But if he did try how would I know for sure the real reason?

How would I know if its just to save the money or that reality may hit him and he starts coming out the fog?

Not that I am counting on this happening but I am trying to be prepared for anything.

I really don't think this is going to make him see any light , I expect nothing to change.

Keep my expectations low then I don't get disappointed.

Hurting:

It seems that you are continuing to want this to work fast..on your time table..

It's a process that will take time.

What I meant was that this will without a doubt take away the FANTASY aspect of the A...

What he is doing will become more real to him...

That does not mean that he will want to reconcile the next day..

This is just ONE STEP in the process...