My xh once called me in the afternoon after I picked up my son at school.

He said "were you at intersection of such and such a few minutes ago?

I said no I was not.

He said "I just saw a woman who was your twin. I guess sometimes I just see you.


The WS sometimes leave fog long enough to see us also.

peachy,

I am not to sure about what you are saying here?

If you are talking about WH seeing me this afternoon, I don't know if he did or not. But believe me I saw him as well as DD did.

Good Morning all.....

had a very peaceful evening last night and slept pretty good.... Actually got about 8 hours last night. Been a long time since I slept like that.

Only a few more days until all he$$ breaks loose..... getting a little anxious here. I just want this done and over so I can my finanaces back in order.... Just gotta hold out a few weeks for court....

Hurting,

It's understandable that you're getting "a little anxious". Who wouldn't? I'd worry if you weren't!

Glad to hear you had a peaceful night and a good sleep.

If you need to go to court, imagine all of us behind you. It's one of my tricks (actually, I even have imaginary conversations with some if I think it will help!)

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hurting}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Luna,

Thats a good plan. I will try and imagine I have all of my support sitting behind me. I am just scared of sitting in the same room with him. It just seems everytime I see him I get emotional. It just makes my stomach go in knots.

I want him to see me strong not falling apart and I have a hard time not falling apart because it birngs the pain right back to me.

I am trying to get it together so I can be a strong person that day and show him I mean business. Its just so hard.

Just talked to the attorney. We are waiting on the judge to sign the order. If he gets it signed in the next day or so WH will be served on Saturday. If not it will be next saturday. This is the problem with him being on the road only weekends being the time he can be served.

I already have such anxiety going on just thinking about it being this weekend. I don't know how I will handle it if it has to go another week before being served.

I just feel so scared and lost with this happening. I guess its the fear of the unknown of how he is going to react. I just want it over so I can get over the fear and face it all head on. I have way to many senarios running through my head, its driving me crazy. I try not to think about it but its so hard not to.

I am trying to stay calm, really I am .... So far I have done well in keeping my fears to myself from the kids. I act like everyting is ok but I think they see my tension. I keep playing it off as just worry over the bills.

I know once he is served the kids will know what has happened. I hope they understand why I di it. I will do my best to rxpalin that it was done to have their father take resposibility for his family not out of meanness.

I just want to hide under a rock, I feel so numb right now I don't know what to think or do.

I have my IC tomorrow thank goodness, I hope she can help me get through this or at least give me some ideas on how to handle my emotions right now.

The emotional heart part of me wants to say stop don't do this it will just push him away farther and make him hate you, but the logical brain part of me says you are doing the right thing and he has to be held accountable and take care of his family. The logical part of course is winning the battle as it should be. But my heart is breaking in two. I have got to get my heart and brain on the same wave length here and i am having a hard time doing that.

Hi Hurting,
Sorry you are having a rough time with this.

You're brain is smart, I'm glad you are listening to it. You might want to explain to your kids early Sat morning. That way it'll be too late to give WH a heads up and they will hear your side of it first. You KNOW your DD will be talking to her dad about this.What so you have planned to be away Sat?

Try to remember that you are not responsible for his reactions. You did what you needed to do to protect your home and your family. I think this will hit him like a ton of bricks and knock him on his a$$. He will probably think "Man, she really means it this time." Then he will jump through hoops, join the circus and declare the D is on....until he sees the paperwork HE will have to fill out.

I'm with the others...I don't think he wants to lose his family. He thinks he can have it all. Surprise!! He can't!

Hi Hurting,

I hope the judge gets it signed before this weekend. You don't need the waiting anxiety. Just get that part over with ....right?!

Well another story to tell. This one really threw me for a loop myself.

The bank called for me to come sigh the signature card since WH tooh himself off the account.

So I get there and the girl who helped me was the same one who helped WH. I was asking her how my account statement went to OW's home. She said WH changed it to there, but came back the next week and changed it back to my home. Now why he did this who knows.

Anyhow she was telling me how when he came in to do all of this how he was telling her the story of how he told his wife he was tired of the [censored] and moved out and moved in with another woman. Now he does not know this girl from Eve, she said she could tell when he walked in how he was trying to act so big and cocky. She said he was telling her how his G/F was sitting in the car waiting on him.

She said he acted so proud of himslef for all he was doing and talking about how he was so happy now. I don't get why he had to go to the bank and talk to a total stranger and tell her all of this stuff. She said he sounded so crazy. She said he sounds like someone who really is messed up in the head. I told her he is right now.

To me this sounds like a bad case of justification and entitlement. Why tell a perfect stranger all of this? This girl had no reason to know anything, he didn't have to tell her why he is taking his name off the account. Makes no sense to me.

Confused,

Your right I think this is going to knock him for a loop. Don't know which way he is going to go but I do know he is going to be angry. I have not decided what to do that yet but I will be gone from home for sure.

Lady,

Your right I want this done , the waiting is driving me nuts.

As my Mother always used to say "Me thinks he doth protest too much"
In other words, when someone is going on and on, bragging about how great they are, how happy they are, it is becuase none of that is true. When you are really happy, you know you are happy, and you don't feel the need to tell the whole world about it. You wouldn't brag to the lady at the bank about how great your life is, and how happy you are, because you don't know what is happening in her life right now. When you are happy, you know it, and you are jsut content with it.

He is so opposite of happy right now that he is actually talking to strangers in an effort to fool himself.

This is actually one of the sadest stories I have heard about your H. He is hurting so much right now that he is trying to reach out to the lady at the bank even.

His GF - the one who is supposedly making hims o happy, is always stuck waiting in the car. I wonder whose idea that is. Does he tell her to wait in the car? If so, I suspect she id getting really fed up by now. Always stuck in the car by herself.
Or, is it her idea to sit in the car. If so, why? Shame? Embarrassment? Either way, that sounds like the biggest sign that things are not going well.

Honestly, this whole story is really a sign of how sad, depressed, and pathetic he really is right now.

Womanoffaith,

I have to agree with you. I think his life is in so much turmoil he is trying to convince himself and everyone around him including strangers how happy he is.

Why can't he admit to himself that things arn't what he pretends them to be? I worry he is going to crash and burn real hard.

Now I really worry will these LS papers send him over the edge? I will not stop them but now I am worried.

As far as her sitting in the car who knows. I am sure at the bowling alley it was because they saw I was there and he could not risk us seeing each other and me opening my mouth in front of her. At the bank who knows its not like anyone there would have known her.

its all so sad that he has come to this.

hurting...
Hang in there! Boy, what a tough week you have had so far...

You know, WOF is right, he is not happy. You know, we create our own happiness...but what you WH has created for himself is chaos - that is all!

My H said the same thing, I am happy now that I am gone...now why don't I believe that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />...ahh, yes, cause I don't see it and everything else coming out of his mouth just indicates just how much the opposite is true...

Daisy

Daisy,

yeah this week has been the one from He!!. Its been almost as bad as D-day week.

My emotions are all over the place, from anger to sorrow and every one in between.

I know WH is not happy , I have seen that for months now. Everyone else sees it as well. I just cant imagin what it is going to take for him to see it, if he ever does.

Hurting....
Sadly, some WS never see it....some people just are so convinced that what they are doing is right that they just don't see it (Lem's signiture line)....

Some get it, but some don't....and not even time helps...

I hope for your sake that your WH gets it....

Daisy

Daisy,

I hope he gets it to.

Something strange just happened. My cell phone rang and it was WH'S place of employment. I did not answer.

I am down as his emergency contact but then again so is his sister. I would think if something has happeneed they would leave a VM for me to call back. And if they could not get hold of me they would call his sister right?

So now I am wondering if it was WH calling from there. He has not tried to call me in like 3 weeks. No one left a VM so I have no idea who it was....

Hi Hurting,

I don't believe you WH is "truly happy" for a minute.

That is strange that he would tell the bank lady all that, but he did the same thing with your friend in the hospital.
What I think is... he is looking for a "congratulations" or something. You know when you get engaged, married, new baby, achieved a great personal goal, new job etc... there is always the the "Congratulations" that come from all friends and family and others in town. He is not getting that now. Maybe he is desperate to get some acknowledgement that what he is doing is okay, and for others to be happy for him, a congratulations of some sort. Well it's not happening!

Anyway....Just a thought!

Lady

(((Hurting)))

I can see how your emotions must be all over the place right now. That really is a strange story about the bank?!?!

My WH is kind of in the same spot. My stepfather (who WH has never given the time of day) works at a store down the road from WH's hotel. The other day, when WH had the girls, he took them in to see my stepfather! He won't even go out to my mom's for Christmas for the past 10 years or so, now suddenly he is stopping by to see my step dad?!?!

I think they are both in a very fast tailspin.

I hope the call from work is something minor, you don't need anymore stress right now.

Well as if things arn't bad enough it gets worse....

It was wH who called my cell. I went to my MIL'S and he called there. My SIL talked to him and he wanted to speak to me I refused. Well he then proceeded to tell my SIL he knows I have an attorney. He knows I filied something. He said his attorney told him that I had a oriental lady for an attorney. Well thats not the truth for sure.

Anyhow he said I told the attorney he never gave me any money and that was in the papers. Not true I told the attorney evety dime he has given me.

He then wanted to know my attroneys name, I refused to tell him. My SIL does not know his name either. Then he asked again if I would talk to him so we could talk about dividing the stuff in the house, I refused again. He then wanted my BIL to write a statement saying he saw him give me the 200.00 this past weekend. I told my SIL I never said he didn't give me money at all.

So anyway he hung up and then called back. He again asked SIL for attorneys name again he got refused an answer. He then asked were DD was. He then told her to tell me if You want a fight you got it.He then hung up. I told SIL I did not want to fight at all. I don't want a divorce but he left me no options but to file LS.

So I go pick up DD and before I got there he had called her and wanted to know my attorneys name. DD told him she did not even know I had an attorney. She said he was so angry. SIL said the same thing he is angry about this . He is angry that I did something.

So I will call my attroney tomorrow and let him know of this. I guess it does not matter that he knows but I sure was not expecting this. I think he thinks I filied for divorce. But like I told SIL why get mad I thought this is what he wanted.

What kind of fight does he think he can have? He is the one who walked and treated us like crap. I called my mom she said don't worry he is mad because he knows you are not taking this anymore and he knows he is wrong and on the loosing end. I sure hope she is right.

So I would not be surprised now if he does file for the divorce. Like my mom said though its only a piece of paper. This can still work out. I am not so sure anymore.

Did I do right in not talking to him? I am so scared right now. BTW he called from OW'S so I knw he is close around ....

Ho-hum, yawn.............

Hurting - This is exactly out of the WH handbook. When I told my WH I was done fooling around with trying to agree on a settlement, and told him to contact my attorney, he was the same way. He started shouting at me that if I wanted to play rough, his attorney would grab me by the throat and squeeze.

So far, nothing. And that was 2 months ago.

He is just angry that you aren't being the sweet little wife and letting him have his slut on the side.

Hurting, this doesn't even sound right. Who is he getting his info from. Did your attorney call him or something?
Who is telling him this stuff?