I am not backing down no matter what he does. I can;t I have come to far to let him win now.

If he taks the car then so be it. He will pay in the end. I do know one thing a judge will not look kindly upon him taking my only transportation to and from work. I will not walk to work in the middle of the night and I do not have the money for cabs. So I can tell you now that will make him look even worse.

Believer,

You said yesterday you still feel he will come home. Well after all of this I don't see how anyone could believe that now.... I think he has just gone way to far now and even if he does wake up someday his pride and guilt may be to much for him to admit any wrong doing .....

I don't know what to think now....

I am going to be safe.... I am leaving to go now to the store and see what I can find....

Hurting,

Please change the locks today. Here is another scary story for you when i exposed the ow to her mother and told my wh we were done and to read my letter (plan b) I had written a month ago.

I was worried about the backlash and stayed at my neighbor friends that night -- he called at 2am saying i'd better be home- called my parents at 4 am wanting to know where I was. Well i did not go home until the next morning to find that he was in our house and he had screwed all the doors shut and took the tires off of my vehicle. I called the police who told me that they could do nothing because it was his property too.

Protect yourself -- he is losing control and acting out.

tdr

I can't say what the law is in Oklahoma, but in my state, spending the night with another person not your spouse unchaperoned is enough for the court to presume adultery. When I got my divorce, the case ahead of mine was like that-a PI testified he followed the WS to so-and-so's house, WS did not leave until the next morning, no one else was home (I forget how he established that), and that was enough proof to use adultery as the grounds. If your DS knows they slept in the same bed and were kissing, well, in my state he'd be toast. So talk to your lawyer on Monday and see what he says.

hurting, how can he take the car if he doesn't have the keys?

The locks have been changed. He has no keys to get in. He knew the lock on our bedroom window was broken off due to we had a window unit A/C in there for years.

He is to big to crawl through it so he had DS crawl through and unlock the door. I had a feeling he would come in the hosue with DD here thats why I locked the bedtroom. I never would have guessed he would send my son through the window...

I just came back and got some alarms for the windows and sliding glass door. They had nothing for the car so I will have to wait until tomorrow to hit the parts store.

I guess I will be awake most of the night on lookout...

I am speaking to my lawyer on monday and see what can be done about all of this... I can't live like this for the next month until court. I need to have something to stop him....

I know I keep saying this but I can't believe he is so out of control and wanting to hurt me so bad..... I leave him alone i don't bother him or ask for anything but what I deserve and my DS deserves.

I have never in 24 yrs ever seen him act like this......

mel,

He sure can't drive it off.... The only way would be to tow it off. But I pulled it very close to the house tonight and it can't be towed from the back. That I know because of the owners manuel saying so. It would mess something up ....

He could nothing anyway since I have the title.... He could just make my life hard until I could get it back by a court order I assume....

I just don't get it........ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

Hi Hurting,

It looks like a lot has happened today.

I just wanna cry for you!! WH needs to stop his insanity!

I hope you have the title to the car well hidden.

I don't think he will take the car, I just think he is threatening, but it's good you have prepared. He is angry and looking for a response from you.

What is DS saying? Is he alright? He must feel bewildered.


This is too much!! Did WH get served the papers today?

Lady

Lady,

I ahve not seen DS today he is at SIL. I will talk to him tomorrow. I was way to upset to speak to him tonight about it.

I have no idea if WH was served or not. I have the feeling not, seems he was away from the house most of the day.

I am wondering if he tried all this crap before he got served so he can get away with it.

I am calling lawyer monday and et him know what all happened.

I just can't believe Lady that he has gone this far.

He is out of control right now due to anger and lord knows what else....

I went to wal=mart and bought some alarms for all the windows. Beieve me they are lous. So if he tries to get in I will definatley know it....

As for the car I just pray he does nothing right now.

I really think he is trying to get me to back down and take whatever crap he offers me. I do believe he knows he is on a dwonward spiral and is worried now...... At least thats what I am hoping ...

He does this crap on weekends knowing I can do nothing about it.....

Something tells me OW is behind some of it.... She better hope I never see her in a dark alley with no one around .... Well right now I am so angry he better hope I don't see him either.....

Okay Hurting,

I know Hurting. I have seen men in my own life act like that. I know it's all so frightening!! But God is bigger than them all. May He protect you all and your assets while WH is still a WH.

Okay so you haven't heard a word since earlier today. Maybe things will be alright.

I think he was only trying to intimidate you again today.
Seems to be his weekend thing. Did he ever act so intimidating when he was home? Was he mentally abusive at home also?

EVERYONE needs to get you and the children on every prayer chain we can find!!

It's going to be alright, he just wants to get you riled up. It's not going to work for him. I would add mental cruelty to the paperwork if you can!!

Lady

Yeah, they better hope they don't see me in a dark alley either!!!! Because if I have to, I'll come to Oklahoma.
I don't know how I'll get there, but I will get there!!
And I'll bring the biggest men I can find too!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Wow!! I better calm down here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Vengence is the Lords!! He will take care of the situation. You and the children don't need any battles, only peace! I pray that happens.

Lady

I'm guessing he's done for the day. Unless, he goes out and has a few too many to drink, but from what I've read in your posts he doesn't seem to be one of those. And... for that you can be thankful.

Did OW have to work today? If so, he could have been doing this stuff while she was at work.

If she works tomorrow count on something else happening. If not, I'm again guessing he won't bother you.

Lady,

he has never acted like this before... In all our years together he has never treated me in such a way. I think thats why I am so upset by this. He has never talked to me or treated me ever like this. I just don't understand how after all we have been to each other and all our yrs he could do this... I am so shocked and overwhelmed by this.

Inanutshell.

No OW does not work on weekends. So I have no idea why he went so nutso today. I do know he is leaving for Houston tomorrow sometime. He told DD he had to be there monday morning. So I will assume he will leave late tomorrow afternoon. So tomorrow night and monday I should be ok...

I don't think he will do anything during the week. I just have to get something done this week before the weekend.

No he does not drink, he has never been much of a drinker.

I have something I want to share.

DD and her friend got chinese food for dinner tonight.

Anyhow I just opened my fourtune cookie and this is what it says:

" Instead of giving someone a piece of your mind, give someone the peace of your mind."


Sounds like someone is trying to tell me something here..... Pretty strange isn't it????

()((Hurting))) I just caught up on your thread. Good job on keeping up the Plan B. Truly a great job. And this is from someone who has had the most difficult time sticking with Plan B. Ask sourmale.<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

But, I have to say, I am very confused. Why would your DS break into your house for WH? WHy would DS even think that is acceptable behaviour? Isn't he old enough to say no way! to your WH? IMVHO, your children not respecting your wishes or your boundaries!

I have to tell you that I have 4 children. And if any of them broke into my house they would be grounded for life. Your WH does NOT live there right now. YOur DS does not live there right now. So they are in YOUR house? Doesn't that seem wrong to one of the more experienced MB posters?

HUrting, I am really blunt and I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I just want to help. And perhaps help you to think about your sitch.THis makes me mad as he!!. Not at you. FOR you. I want to smack a few heads.

Hurting, I understand you love your children. But that doesn't mean that you should allow them to suck you in to discussing WH related stuff or break into your house without some consequences.

I just read 12 pages and in almost every post you worry about what WH is doing, thinking or about to do.

SO WHAT??? You are protecting your family. Becasue WH is so obviously not thinking about the best interests of the family is he? He is a nut case right now.

So why are you worrying about his insanity? He doesn't make sense. You admit that. You cannot control him. YOu can only control YOUR reaction to him and continue to do what is right for YOU and for your family.

I understand that you need to keep yourself safe. And keep him out of your house. And away from the car. But other than that, you need to stay dark. As in uninvolved. NOt just not seeing you. AS in not focussing on his fog and his plain BS.

Stay strong, Hurting. You are amazing. Truly.

Fighting,

I talked to DS tonight and asked him why he did that for his dad. He said to me mom I didn't know what to say to dad. I told him you should have said no you won't do it.
He said well mom he only took his own stuff.

I said that may be son but it was wrong how it happened. I don't care that he wants his jackets and etc. etc. if he had asked I would have made sure he got them. I said to DS those papers your father got tells him that he can take nothing from this house unless it is his own personal property, clothes etc etc.

DS said Mom I was afraid dad would get mad if I didn't do it. He is afraid his dad will get mad and ignor him. DS is going through so much with this ... I am not tring to make excuses for him but he is so torn and failing in school because of all this turmoil. He is in counseling now so I am praying this helps. DS now knows this better not happen again. I have now fixed the windows with little alarms and have jammed them so he can not lift them up. So the only way he will get in is if he breaks a window out.

I am trying hard not to be sucked in but its so hard when he pulls these stupid stunts an says things just to hurt me. I know all of what he says to the kids he does so just because he knows it gets back to me. I try not to react in front of the kids so they have nothing to tell. But this stuff today broke me and I fell apart in front of DD. I am doing everything I can to stay away from WH.

I do believe that he is trying to engage me and make me call begging him to stop. I will not do that, I refuse to give in to him. I am standing solid here , I will not intimidated by him.

He has now pissed me off to the max and its time for him to face his consequences. He needs to take it like a man not a spoiled child who is not getting his way.

I will do my best not to react to anything that is said to me by anyone. If I feel the need to react or cry I can and will remove myself from veiw.

Thank all of you for being here..... I will do this...

Wish I felt amazing .... This is killing me on the inside but I am living life the best I can .... I work and care for my family ..... Most days are good now but stuff like this just makes me feel like crap ....

Hurting -

I am glad you were able to get alarms for your home. Have you called the police to at least ask them to drive by your home several times??? Just to alert them about possible trouble?

Are you concerned for you physical safety? If so, please let the police know this. I don't know if you could/should go as far as to get a restraining order.......

MIL lives down a couple of houses, right? Could you please ask her to stay with you so you are not alone??

Kim

Kim,

I am not worried he will do anything to me ... No matter what he is not that type of person.

I know he is just trying to intimidate me and make me backdown.

Yes I called the police and they are aware and will be doing drive bys.

I am not alone DD and her friend are here and believe me cell phone is right by me at al ltimes. I even take it to the bathroom.....

I spoke with MIL she had no idea what wH did today and she was hot. She could not believe he did that and that he wants to take the car. She said well he ca't take it we all know this and if he tries the judge will take care of it. She says he is really going to make himself look like an a$$ when you go to court. She is disgusted by him right now.

I will speak to my attorney about a RO, if for nothing else but peace of mind. But its only a piece of paper just like anything else. But I truly don't fear physical harm from him. He is trying to play with my head and make me weak and scared.

Thank you Kim for your concern

Hurting

I'm glad that you are not alone. I don't mean to scare you H, but you never thought it would get so ugly like this, did you?

As far as a RO is concerned. A co-worker of mine was beaten up a couple of weeks ago. She was "jumped" by the same people a few days before that. I don't know the details of her situation as she doesn't want to elaborate. But, I fussed at her for not getting a RO the first time. She finally filed a RO the second time and pressed charges. She said that she wishes she would have done something the first time it happened, but she too said "it's just a piece of paper." Well, if she would have filed the first time she would have been a step ahead & maybe the second beating wouldn't have happened.

Sure, it is just a piece of paper. But at least that step would be there & it may or may not stop something from happening. Either way that is on record with the police.

Kim

Kim,

Your right I never thought it would get like this. But WH has never been a violent person and I don't see that happening now truly I don't.

But I will speak to my attorney about it. I guess better safe than sorry later. if nothing else it will keep him away from me and our home.