right now

*** WHACK WHACK WHACK ***

*** WHACK WHACK WHACK *** [/quote]

Thanks Pep, I do deserve those .... In fact you have made me smile.... Hard to believe someone who is getting whacked can smile about it....

Just have to keep telling myself WALK AWAY....WALK AWAY

The point is for you to PROTECT YOURSELF from all this crap...

STAY AWAY FROM EVILDOERS...

You do not belong in the midst of that....

EVIL will cast a spell on you and seduce you..some of this is happening with you...

Like Pep said, no one over there has any morals..you know that...it is nasty, smelly, sordid and ugly in their world...

BE A BEACON OF LIGHT that he can come to if ever for salvation, literally...

Don't get caught up in his world...

That's happening to your daughter to...

I think it's OK to talk to her about that situation being EVIL AND WRONG and that's why you do not want to subject yourself to it.....

I know about this..recall my FWH moved in with the OW and her teenage daughter... yes, the OW in my case wanted a father for her daughter.. are these OW all the same?...YUK...it was NO FUN over there...BELIEVE ME..your WH will need you if he is ever able to escape from that pigsty..

I know Mimi.... I have to let this crap go....

Its all evil and sorrid......

I don't want to know anymore about it.... Its just to much for me to handle....

I have a friend I am going to call that can talk to my DD.... She is a counselor that works with teens... I think it all would be better coming from her than me... I think DD would listen to her better......

hurting....

Hang in there...you got a tough situation going on but you can make it...

I think it is a good idea to have a 3rd party tell DD that she cannot talk to you regarding WH. I really have hope for your case for some reason and I agree with Mimi, the A will be prolonged IF he can continue his comunication with you....your WH has found the loop hole he was looking for!

He tried to get you to talk to him - you stoped....he then tried to get your reaction by being angry - you did not call him .... so now he has found your DD to me really cooperative (without her realizing it) and letting him get his fix of you via her....it is really sad...

I really think that if he can not get any info about you and know that you are not getting any about him...that will be for the best...try not to be there for him in any way...try to go dark completely....

Best,
Daisy

Now Hurting, it is no longer just 'bout U and the WS. Your child is being seriously damaged and the more you allow him to damage her the worse her adult life c/b. IMHO, of course.

Call her school and ask for counseling t/b setup ASAP. Let them know the conditions your child is having to put up with and get her to open up to someone with authority and sense to know when to STOP this nonsense. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

This is hurting her waaay worse than you. Right now you need to listen to what she has to say.... all of it. For her to get it off her shoulders. Then teach her that his babble is aimed at hurting the family, that is you and her and you 2 need to form a bond that will withstand the onslaughts of the WS and his sicko mind. Then when the WS speaks of his 'daugther' you remind him that his 'daughter' is not your daughter but rather the OW's daughter...that he is treating a daughter of a strange woman better than his own and his is hurting real bad for it.

Then expose. Let everyone know he is allowing another child to call him dad while he has abandoned his family. Let's see how long he can walk around that town around all that gossip.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> arrrgh...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

L.

orchid,


I am calling my friend tomorrow. She is a counselor for troubled teens... DD loves her and will talk to her.

I will explain the situation to my friend and let her handle it from there. I know DD will listen to her. I think she will get DD to understand the situation a whole lot better that I ever could. DD know she can call my friend and can count on her anytime..... So I guess its good to know people who have some knowledge. I can get DD some counsleing with someone she trusts.

I already to WH'S mom about this and she was very disgusted by it... Not to worry all our friends will know about this...

I have to say at first I was floored by it and it still bothers me. But I think of this child of the OW who will be the one hurt if/when they break up. Bad part is this is not the first man who has lived with them. Makes me wonder did she call all of the men her mom has been with DAD? She is an innocent in this just like my children and they will pay the ultimate price.

Daisy,

Not to worry I know have a plan for all of this. For one thing cell phone is cut off due to lack of money so he can't call here. Guess in a way thats a good thing.

Once we have the phones back on I will leave the room or the house anytime he calls. This way DD is not put into the position of asking me anything....

After a while they will all get the hint.......

Thank you all for your replys.....

For all you know, the OW's dad may think 'dad' is his name. Poor child. The sad thing is that the OW is making another OW right under the WS and your daughter's noses. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Arrgh.... that OW does not deserve to have any child in her custody.

Can't you take action to prevent your child from being subjected to going over there?

L.

hurting

i remember when this happened to me!

I hated the OW children becuasenot only were they calling MY dad "dad" but he WAS being more of a dad to them than he was to me or my sisters.

this feeling never changed for me. In fact, years later, one of OW daughters and I went to the same high school. My dad was still "living with" her mom but he had his own house that he stayed at once in awhile and I had moved in there "with him" (he was NEVER there so i kinda lived alone in 12th grade)

anyway...i overheard her telling someone about her "dad" when she was speaking of my dad...that day, i rode her bus home, got off at her stop, and beat the crap out of her

yeah..my dad just loved me for that I can tell ya! but it sure felt good at the time!!

and they had a child together....I've hated her since she was born....now...she's just nothing to me

but i never got over believing that she took my place in my fathers life.

your daughter needs you right now..counseling would be a great idea if your insurance covers it also.

and i agree with you...how can he leave his children and help raise someone elses??

(like my stupid H who never wanted our own children but is willing to be a part of OW children's lives!!)

this is just insanity and it's downright cruel

orchid,

That is the one and only tinme DD has ever been there.. She was with her dad on the way to the funeral and he had to stop and pick up something.

She has never wanted to go over there and still dosn't want to. It was a one time thing. DS won't go over there either ... So they really don't see OW or her child very often.... And they both refuse to go and stay over there...

I just hate that it happened when my DD was there. She tried to act like it didn't bother her but I think it did.

I tried to reasure her that no matter what you are his one and only daughter and he will always love you like no other... I think that helped her some.....

Eav is speaking from experience. I'd pay attention to her thoughts. What is your daughter thinking about what she saw?

L.

Actually Orchid she is not saying nything about it.

Shae acted like it didn't bother her. She says Mom all of our friends have always called you and dad both mom and dad... Which is true all the kids friends have done that for years.

Maybe she does not see the diffrence maybe its just me seeing it.... I didn't want to make a big deal about it and make her feel bad. thats why I am going to have my counselor friend talk to her.... Maybe she will open up to her more than me....

It could be it really didn't bother her but I want to make sure.... Oh I read Eav's story and I can understand how that could happen... o that why I want to nip this in the bud now.... But we have to remember my DD is 18 now and its possible she blew it off....

Keep in mind that we are dealing with a WS..not a normal functioning human being...

That being said..

Unfortunately, your WH could really care less about the OW's daughter..

This is the OW's issue...not your WH's

HE ONLY CARES ABOUT HER RIGHT NOW AND CONTINUING TO GET HIS FIX FROM HER...IF PRETENDING THAT HE CARES ABOUT HER DAUGHTER IS NECESSARY TO CONTINUE OBTAINING HIS FIX HE WILL DO THAT...

Of course, he has not established a real bond with the daughter..

Name-calling is all that this is....

hurting...

pray for serenity...

what do you mean by

I already spoke to WH'S mom about this and she was very disgusted by it... Not to worry all our friends will know about this...

why do all your friends need to know about this....

as hard as this is...and it is...
your husband and OW...are the ONES damaging the children..

yours and hers...

it is soooo sad...

so sad for your daughter
so sad for her daughter...

sick sick sick...

you gotta pray not cycle this thought and get all worked up......

not go around telling everyone...
I am not telling you not to seek appropriate support for your daughter...
but I am suggesting you not involve all these other people...they don't need to know this do they really?

I don't know..it's hard for me to see where you have gotten much space and calmness from your plan B...which is not to say you haven't...

pray for you
pray for your husband and the OW that they can see the choas they bring to all these children.....

ARK

ARK,

I agree with what you have said ... It is sad for the kids and very sick.

What I meant about about telling his mom was I told her about OW's DD calling WH DAD. She was not disguted with the DD she is disguted about this child being confused and hurt by all of this as well as her own grandchildren being hurt.

As far as our friends go I have told no one about it. The only one I will tell is my friend who is the counselor so she can talk to my DD and help her through this. Our other friends are disgusted with the whole situation and how he has done all of us.

I have gotten some peace and calmness from planb. I am doing pretty well actually. it was pretty calm until this last week or so when he found out I filed LS papers. Its like he freaked out and started saying and doing things.It didn't bother me he was asking about my memories or weight it was just strange. I have asked DD many times not to tell me things. But I guess she needs to get it off her chest. She knows I don't want to talk to him or answer his questions but she sure tries to get me to.

Thats why I am going to ask my friend to talk to her maybe she can help her understand that I can't talk to or hear anymore about him.

Most of the time his babble does not bother me and I let it slide off my back and say nothing. Him coming into the house last weekend did set me off though. As did this dad thing with OW'S DD. I know it should not let it get to me but it did.

Most of this will now come to a hault since the phones have been cut off. Blessing in disguise if ya ask me. This is going to be a whole lot easier now.

Anyhow after thinking all of this over last night I have come to the conclusion that all I can do is worry about my children and get them the help they need and not worry over anything else. Like I said before I feel bad for OW'S DD but there is nothing I can do about it. OW will have to be the one to handle the fallout from her child.

I am feeling very good and I have for the last few weeks. So even though there has been chaos planb still helped me a lot....

Hurting -

I guess I should be surprised and shocked, but I'm not. This is right out of the WS handbook. For some reason, it is very common for the affairees to want to legitimize their rutting. Often they will get "engaged", or pretend like they are married. The OP will often copy things from the BS's life. (My OW got a job at the same base where I have worked for over 20 years).

OP and your husband at some level realize that their affair has no standing in reality. I'm almost positive that the OP has started the "dad" thing. This is one more way to reel your WH in and keep him. What a dummy he is.

Believer,

I don't know what they are pretending and I dont want to know.

As far as I know OW is not copying anything from my life except for the fact she is sleeping with my H.

I do hope some day her line snaps and he can swim away. But until then I just have to keep on going.

Just seems to me they are getting in deeper and deeper and I am not sure he will find a way out.

Well as if things could not get any worse. It has.

The gas company just shut the gas off to the house.

I am going to try and get the money from somewhere tomorrow to pay it. But now they want another deposit. When is this going to stop? I don't get paid until the 10th.

I am struggling here to I just don't know what to do anymore.... Here my WH is getting paid good money and I get nothing... its all I can do to keep the lights on and now this.... So here I sit with no phone, no gas, no cable... Never in all our yrs have we ever had anything turned off..... I can't believe this is happening and he does not seem to care.....

I will not let this back me down though ... I will not give in to him to get the money..

I am so mad right now I could just spit....... And no court date until Dec. I have another whole month to try and get through before I can get anythoing from him and I pray then I get it......

Hurting

Can you talk to your lawyer and get an emergency injuction?
They can usually do it in a day or two especially in your situation? I don't know if they do that where your from but they do it in Texas.

My prayers are with you, Take care