write this down and keep it in your wallet

I have heard that in Texas where I live, if you can prove infidelity that you can ask for 90% of the assets. Otherwise in Texas you split everything 50/50.

You need a lawyer. Don't hang onto someone that doesn't want you anymore. You deserve better. Don't make this about you doing whatever it takes to get him back. HE needs to convince YOU that he is worth taking back, not the other way around!!

Find a way to let go of your anger because it will hurt you way more in the long run. Plus, you have children and grandchildren so you will have a relationship with this man for the rest of your life.

After 24 years of marriage, you will most likely find that being single again is much better than being with a man that you can't trust and that ran around on you. Trust me on this one.

Texas,

I have a lawyer and am not trying to convince my H of anything.

I am doing right now what I have to do to protect myself and children.

I want my M to work but I will not settle for just any crumbs he is handing out. He would have to convince me he really wants to save us.

As far as being angry I am past that I am upset because he has not been served thats about it. I don't want the court delayed.

I love the CLARITY AND CONVICTION in your answers to TEXAS...

YOU GO, GIRL!!!

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I spoke to my attorney and got some good news in a way.

I found out he can not file until he is served. if he tries to file the court clearks office will tell his attorney that I have filed for LS and he can't file anything until he is served with those papers then he can counterfile.

So in a way thats good news. I also found out from my SIL were he will be next Saturday ... He will be at his old job working on his truck and then to the bowling alley. So I will call the process server and let them know this plus give them a picture. This way they know what he looks like ... So if all works out he should get them Sat.

As my SIL and I were talking she said when he came to pick up DS on Sat. OW was with him. SIL was explaining to him about the house and the bills and he got angry and said its not fair he is loosing his house. She told well you said you don't want to live there anymore so when BS'S does whatever it is she is going to do , we are buying the house from mom. She said he was getting loud and OW told him to shut up and listen. Also he said well the bills are in BS'S name. She no they are not BS's showed them to me your name is on them as well so if you want to fix your credit you need to take of them.

SIL said you know he is acting so strange. I tried explaining the WS script to her. She said you know he acts like he really loves OW. I said maybe he does but I don't believe it. Who knows maybe he really does love her, if so then nothing i can do or say.

Anyhow I am ok with this and I told SIL I have come to accept what is happening, I don't like it but I have accepted it and I will accept whatever happens.

SIL B-Day was on the 2nd.. WH actually got her flowers and 2 cards and a gift card ..... I was impressed , for the first time in 24 yrs he actually had to buy presents and cards for someone besides me. I was always the gift and card buyer. Was very impressed he did this for her... She was shocked as well.

Thank you Mimi ......

Hurting, I admire you so much - you have become so strong.

Alph.

Thanks Alphin.... I am not as strong as you think. I have accepted this but it still tears my heart out....

I will always have some hope , it may be fruitless but I can't give it up just yet.....

Acceptance is a good thing right now...

I think it's useless to try to explain this to your SIL..she does not seem to understand...

DUH..Of course, he thinks he is "in love" with the OW..and in a way, he is...AND SO WHAT?

I know Mimi.....

It just hurts to think he really could be.....

I will be ok...... Life goes on....

and this "in love" requires SACRIFICE .... and you know what that means, right? It means his Taker is going to become very UNhappy and start demanding reciprocated sacrificing ... not by YOU ... by OW! Then her Taker gets fed up and makes demands ... allow the wind to twist them ...

Listen very carefully to what PEP has told you...

IT IS RIGHT ON TARGET....

This was one of the nail's in the coffin of my FWH'S affair with the OW...

I was planning on mentioning this very thing on her thread...

HE HAS REALLY STRESSED TO ME HOW THIS WAS A PROBLEM...

THIS OCCURRED JUST AS PEP DESCRIBED IT.....

This is good.



Becareful of the news given to SIL. WH may be telling her that to keep servers off track (he knows SIL tells you everything). They should go to OW's early morning with a picture.


Oh darn, I hope OW realizes she is a part of him losing the house too. She may feel some guilt over that, maybe.

If OW is not divorced don't ya think he should be looking into what her credit is? I couldn't imagine what that could be. It's probably a mess. Maybe SIL could get a message to WH, that he'd better be looking into her credit history.

I think it's very important you get pictures of the two together, OW's car, etc..... It will help you in the court process.

Lady

I know you both are right.... But what does she have to sacrifice?

She has nothing to lose..... her and her H are seperated been that way for years. I don't see what she has to sacrifice at all.

Maybe I am not understanding the sacrifice thing... I know what he is giving up but I don't see what she has to give up....

Help me understand this.....

Dear God, When WH seeks OW.....may he not find her, amen.
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She is probably doing everything he wants her to do..eating only what he likes...only looking at movies he wants to watch...

She will have no opinions about anything...

He will always come FIRST over her DAUGHTER, that's for sure...

Lady,

To be honest SIL is trying to help me out here. In fact she has told me she would go to court with me for support. I told her I would never ask her to do that because she is WH'S sister. She said I know that but what he is doing is wrong and I won't support it.

She wants him served just like I do but I am going to talk to the process server myself and get them a picture.

I have spoken to someone about getting pictures for me. It is someone WH does not know and it would be easier for them to do it. Where WH lives is a small town and people would recongnize me. So I am working on getting someone to get pics of them going in and out of the apt. and in the car together.

I hate having to do this but I feel I need to have some proof just in case.. I don't want to make this nasty and as much as he has hurt me I don't want to hurt him back... What good what that do me... I don't want to be like them and be low.... But to protect myself I will get pics. I won't use them unless we have to....

I think OW could care less about the house... He has already said she would never live in it seeing how we lived in it together.... He claims he will never live in it again himself... He just wants it t be a rental.... So who knows...

Maybe so Mimi.....

I just don't know..... From what I understand her DD has always been spoiled by her and is #1 in her life.

Seems to me she has her own opinions and she states them... I don't really think she is as meek and concerned over doing everything he wants. Everyone talks about how she talks to him and bosses him around... So seems to me she is in control of him....

Maybe I am wrong but this is how I see it as well as others who see them togehter....

I will only carry on this conversation with you a wee bit longer because we need to stop thinking about the nature of their relationship....



I GUARANTEE YOU THAT THIS IS NO LONGER TRUE...

Probably causes a lot of conflict in the home now....did when my WH lived with the OW and her daughter...daughter got angry about the attention being given to my H..they "HATED" each other..trying to fight for OW'S attention..YUK.....



Those folks that are reporting back to you do not know what we know...She is able to CONTROL him because of her "SACRIFICING"...that is part of HER DRUG....

I guarantee you she is giving the message of SACRIFICE....

Maybe this goes on when those other people are not looking...they don't know what to look for...

My H seemed "CONTROLLED" by the OW as well..

Now I know why.....

Ok I think I am understanding what you are saying now...

I was having a hard time understanding her sacrifice...

For now her DD is calling him dad but in time these things will probably happen as you say.....

See sometimes I need ap icture drawn to understand what is being said.... I am not trying to be difficult. I just wanted to understand it what you both meant......

I think I got it now....