I just came from the process servers office.

I went there to give the the infomation I have regarding were he will be on Saturday.

I also gave them a picture of him so he can't deny who he is. They also know he is at OW'S all weekend. I am praying they get the papers to him this weekend.

I hate that I had to go this far as to give pictures and his coming and goings.

What makes it worse is that my DS will be with him on Sat. morning and I didn't want him served with my son around but I don't have many choices left.

I hate this..... I never wanted things to go this far.....

(((Hurting)))

Hi Hurting,

I know it's hard to believe things have gone that far.

But you are doing the right thing...as difficult as it is.

I hope the papers will be served on the weekend with no problems. You have done your part.

Is it possible to get away for the weekend somehow? It might help. You know there is always "drama" filled weekends around there. If he gets served it might get worse.

Anyhow.....Stay on the right road giving attention to yourself and other relationships in your life. This will help you.

Love, Lady

I have to work this weekend Lady so no getting away.

I don't see how it could get worse, he knows about the papers. He just does not know what they say.

I am trying hard to do other things and not think about this but its like everyday its thrown in my face one way or another.

Was kind of strange DD came into the room earlier to say something to me and the look on her face was just like looking at my H. All of my children look just like him.

I have been praying all morning for God to do his will. I have been reading scriptures out loud to help me. I am having such a hard time turning this over to God and I know its the right thing to do. I just can't seem to let go....

I found comfort in PSALMS and EPHESIANS....

Hang in there, Hurting...

I know it's hard....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I don't think it's something that you can totally "let go" of right now...it's not that time.

You are at the time to.....

Ask God to give you the peace, healing, and direction through and in the midst of it. And He is already doing that for you.

Love and prayers,
Lady

{{{Hurting}}}

Thinking of you.

Alph.

Thank you all.

I feel like I should be handleing this better. He has been gone for so long now.

Mimi,

I was reading Psalms thats what my friend told me to read. I get comfort when I read them as well.

I know God will remedy this is his own time. I keep questioning though why does he allow me to keep hanging on, when it looks so hopeless? I know in my heart God already knows the outcome so if its be we are parted forever why can't he just tell me in my heart to let go?

I don't want to question God I know its not the thing to do. I just want to move on to whatever it is he wants for me. Now even my faith has come into question here..... I keep praying for an answer but so far none. How much more pain do I have to be in before its over?

I guess no one has these answers but God and I have to try and trust they will come in time...

I missed the HOPELESS part....



GOD hates DIVORCE and does not want married couples to be parted..that is what SATAN wants....



GOD is not on YOUR TIME SCHEDULE....

He wants you to have FAITH IN HIM is all....

I know Mimi....

I am trying so hard to have Faith.....

Some days its easier than others....

I keep telling myself that this is not going to be the end for us. My heart keeps telling me "All will work out just be patient." Is this God telling me to hang on?

I don't feel the end is anywhere close. Seems to me if it was I would feel it. Am I wrong or is it wishful thinking?

I know I sound like i sit around crying all the time but thats not the case. I go to work, I visit with people and I do things for myself and the kids. Its just questions that have no answers that drive me nuts...

I have always been one to look for answers in everything. So this goes beyond my comprehension that I can't find answers for any of it. I guess thats just how my brain works, I figure everything has to have an answer or a way to be explained. In the past this was a good thing for me but for now its a henderance.

My H used to tell me all the time, you use your brain way to much and have to have answers for everything. You need to just let some things be.... It is what it is .....

Maybe he was right....

everyone have a good evening. I am off to work...

Prayers and blessings to all......

Had a good evening at work. I have to say working has helped me so much. I feel good about it and makes life seem more normal.

I am feeling pretty good tonight.

It is so strange how my feelings change from minute to minute... hour to hour.....

This morning and afternoon i was so depressed and feeling hopeless, tonight I feel fine and have calm acceptance of whatever happens.

Is this normal to go from one extreme to the other ?

Its so confusing....

Anyhow thanks to all who put up with me and my many moods.... You all have been life savers..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You know I just thought of something, maybe it makes no difference but I worry so much about how I will react when I see WH in court next month. It just dawned on me , how is he gonna react when he sees me after over 2 months of N/C except for a 3 min. interaction at the bowling alley. I won't lie I woould love to see him break down and say he is sorry but I am sure not counting on that. But it w ill be interesting for him to see how much I have changed. New haircut and dramtic weight loss since our last encounter.

Maybe I am worrying over nothing, I just have to put it in my head to be strong and act confident in myself.... Fake it till ya make they say.....

But I do want an some input on my doing another letter for him just to remind him of how I feel. I was kinda thiking maybe like the Dobson letter in Tough Love.... I won't do this if everyone thinks its a bad idea but I just feel another planb like letter might be a good thing....

No more input. Any contact other than what is necessary (i.e. bills, kids, $$, etc.) would undermine your plan B.

As for his memory.....it ain't there. WS' don't like BS' remember?

It will only backfire and hurt you. Leave him be. Later you can say that you gave him his space....why didn't he enjoy himself?!?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

L.

orchid,

Thank you for your input I appreciate it.

I was not sure about the letter thing thats why I asked.

I am concerned he will try and talk to me before or after court. I just am not sure what to say.... Thats why I was thinking of the letter. Just hand it to him and walk away... What should I say if he approaches me?

I hope I'll be able to say that at a later point in time....

What to say?

Hm.... ok, let's practice:

Here's my version:

WS: I need to talk to you about what we are going to say in court. U need to make me look good.

BS: Why?

WS: Otherwise, I am going to owe you more $$ than I want to pay. What will I live on? How will I keep OW in the style of life she demands out of me?

BS: Not sure.

WS: Well you need to fix it so that I get away with murder.

BS: Hm.... let me think about that.

WS: Well.....what do you think.

BS: Hm.... not enough time. Let me think about it some more.

WS: Ok, I will call you tomorrow.

BS: Ok, what time?

WS: uh.... around 7pm.

BS: ok.


Now make sure you are not around to receive the call. No more mention of being in plan B. Your best plan is to make him think you are not fighting him so he lowers his defenses and lets his stupidity show.

Step back and let the WS in him come on out.

Will you think about it? Yes.
Will you give him what he wants? No
Does he know that? No.
When will he know? In court.

Can you do this? Yes. Your survival may depend on it.

Now give your version of his babble and let's see what we can do to help you be prepared.

take care,
L.

Hi hurtinginokla,
Just a quick note on your question about your feelings going from one extreme to the other. I think this is quite normal. That is how it is with me. One minute I feel like everything is going to be fine and the next I wish i could just curl up in a ball and disappear because I don't feel like I can cope, and all this is 2 years on from the first d-day.The only advise I can give you is to hang in there. The good times will eventually outnumber the bad. The bad times will be something you will have to get through only every now and then. I don't think we will ever fully recover, but I do think that as time goes on, we learn to cope better.Of course, everyone is different, this is just my experience and how I feel.
You are doing so well and being so strong. You can't be blamed for lapsing every now and then. Keep up the good work.
reewil

(((Hurting)))

Just a quick hug to let you know I was thinking about you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thank you Jean.....

Orchid,

I have tried to think of different things that could be said and some many things come to mind.

one conversation I keep having in my head kinda goes like this:

WS: CAn we talk?

BS: Are you still involvedwith OW?

WS: Yes

BE: Then we have nothing ot talk about

WS: What do you mean by that?

BS: I have nothing to say until you are no longer involved with OW

WS: I will always be invloved with OW, I love her.

BS: Then I guess we will never have anything to talk about

there has got to be a better way to handle a conversation along those lines.

I always seem to think of the good reverse babble after the fact....

I just want to be able to say the right things if he tries to talk to me....

Best case senario is he says nothing to me....

I had this conversation with my FWH...

One of his initial contacts with me during PLAN B..

I call it the "WHAT ABOUT US" conversation:

You said:



It should be CLICK...HANG UP THE PHONE.. AFTER THE LAST LINE ABOVE...

Then, let him try to call you back when and if that time comes....

Thats how I am hoping it will happen.

I don't worry about him calling me, its having to do it face to face... I just fear he will want to talk after or before court.

Then again he may say nothing to me... I just want to be prepared.

In a way I hope he says nothing to me at all.... I just want to walk out and have no words spoken....