It "ain't" going to last. Don't get your feathers ruffled over something that insignificant.

What surprises me is that OW isn't doing his laundry. Speaks for itself. Reality is setting in. Mr. WH who didn't lift a finger to do laundry for 24 years, isn't going to like to do laundry every Saturday when he comes home from the road. I think you should be laughing about it. Picture WH at the laundramat. He's hating every minute of it.

While I'm at it, you should be darned angry at him for leaving you for what - - nearly two weeks without gas. What a crock of BS.

I trust you're keeping a good journal.

Hey Hurting, I agree with inanutshell, this won't last long can't you just picture him starting to resent the fact that he is has to do laundry. Hang in there.

lashell

inanutshell and lashell.

I know you both are right, it just made me so mad. Oh and don't think I'm not mad about the gas because I am. But I also figure this is just another for the judege to ream him for.

Yes I have all of it journeled and I even have the disconnect notices and the paper they put on the door when they cut it off.

I sure hope he can't squirm out of this in anyway. I talked to my mom tonight and was telling her about all of this trivial stuff about the laundry and now how WH can't even come to town by himself anymore. She laughed and said well lets remember he is in her home and he feels the need to do all of these things so he has a place to live. She said he won't put up with it for long. His mom agrees as well. They both said they feel like OW has figured out something was up or else she somehow found out he was still trying to see me thats why she is like glue to him on the weekends.

The person my WH used to be would have never taken this kind of treatment before from anyone. So I hope eventually the real him will get a glimpse of what is happening and rebel from it all. I can only hope...

He is coming by here in the morning to pick up DS. So I will have DS ready to go so WH has no reason to even try and come to the door. I don't want him coming anywhere around the house. Just sit in his truck and wait for DS.

Thanks you 2 for your thoughts on my little rant. It just pissed me off, but your right I should have laughed about it....

Hi Hurting,

I betcha he was only doing his "own" laundry. Picture that!
And he probably hated it. It's probably the 1st or 2nd time he has done his laundry since he's been gone. It is kindof laughable. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

The one thing I have noticed about OW, is she is a constant complainer, or she is telling him to shutup all the time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Does the process server go out tomorrow?

Lady

Lady,

I hope they will go out tomorrow but he is coming to pick up DS and work on his truck and then he has to leave early to go to Missouri. So I doubt they will catch him again.
This is gettng to be to much to get him served. I am speaking to the attorney Monday and see what can be done. Maybe I need to set up some kind of meeting somehow and make sure he agrees and get the server there. I just don't know. I don't mean a meeting with me but someone else.

I don't know who's laundry he did but I would be willing to bet he played off like it was cool. And yeah she tells him top shut up a lot from what I gather. But oh well his problem not mine.

I had another talk with the lady who prayed with me last week. She says she has been praying everyday for us and she just feels that everything will be ok and his heart will turn home again. I pray it happens.

I am thinking of having a Christmas Party once I get the house decorated. Just have a few friends over and try and enjoy the holidays. Maybe it will help make things seems more normal for us.

Well gonna watch a movie with DS right now....

Hurting,

What time is he picking up DS? Have the server at your house at that time. Or maybe when he brings DS back, so DS won't have to spend Dad Time listening to him gripe about you.

Jean,

That would have been a good idea but I have no way of contacting the server. The office is closed on the weekend. Believe me I thought of it.

The thing about him griping about me is funny, he does not gripe to the kids about me he questions them. He wants to know everything I do and say. Good thing I have learned to say nothing in front of them so they have nothing to tell except everyday stuff. Which now has made him mad because he asked DD why is your mom being so secrative. I think its funny.

Anyhow I will figure out something to get him served I have to ....

Oh well, just an idea. Hopefully they will be able to track him down before he leaves town again.

I am glad that he is not dogging you to the kids. I wish I could say the same for my WH. He actually griped to the kids that I am not sending clean clothes with them. They have clothes at his place, they have clothes here, he needs to do their laundry when he does his own. (Heck, he is HMMmmming a dry cleaning lady, won't she give him a discount on laundry service <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />)

I really have my fingers crossed for you, I am moving to the divorcing forum myself, but I will keep up with your thread.

((Hurting))

Well WH did a turnaround this morning. He wanted DS to have some straps to bring with him to get the truck they are working on.

Well DS could not find them so he went to his grandma's to call WH to tell him. Well WH showed up to his moms house which is 7 houses away while DS was there. So he sent DS down here to get chain from the backyard. WH would not even come down here and get it himself. He told DS he would not come to our house. He has no problem showing up over here when I am gone though.

I know thats for the best but it bothers me he won't even come near the house. Makes me wonder why? Not that I would have seen him but now it makes me wonder if he even cares at all.

Why can't I just let go and forget about all of this. I would just love to see some little sign he cares. Does he care about her that much that I have been forgotten?

When offered a new plan B tool .... pick it up and use it skillfully. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Here's your new tool ... WH wants to know what you are doing and saying .... USE this!

[color:"red"]YES by all means throw a Christmas party !!!! [/color] ... and create a very *unusual for you* guest list. Invite folks your H has never met (like some neighbors you only wave to) ... and talk to your kids excitedly about "so-and-so" who is coming .... if there is a USO near you, call them and ask if they have any military personel away from home who may want to attend a family holiday party ....

also ... start an activity that may seem unusual for you ... start a "girls poker nite" ... invite some friends over and play poker .... dime or quarter limit ... but no laughter limit table ... this will get back to your WH ... and suddenly ~~~> YOU have more fun than he does! "waa-waa no fair I'm doing OW's laundry for her and my WIFE is having poker parties!"

meanwhile .... do NOT allow kids to tell you about Dad .... but the information highway is strictly one-way .... he hears all about YOU and how KEWL you are <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> ... and how you are making new friends .... ~~~> evil grin <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

((Hurting))

Another Holiday idea ... one year we organized a neighborhood caroling party ... we distributed flyers to our entire street ... about 50 homes ... and we met in our living room ... kids and adults .... I had made song lyric sheets of the most singable carols ... and after cookies and punch at our house... off we went ... and it was so much fun ....

if your neighborhood is too rural ... go caroling at a nursing home ....

your H will hear about all of it ... and OW will look small in your shadow!

Pep,

I am going to have the party. I have not decided just yet when but it will happen.

I will think of some things to do to shake things up because I know DD tells him everything....

I just feel so down right now because I just feel he does not care anymore. It's like I don't exsist anymore. Maybe its just in my head I don't know....

It's kinda funny in a way during the week I am fine but the weekends just get to me so bad. I guess it could be because during the week he is gone on the road and weekends I know he is with her and I hate it. I would love just some little sign that he cares.

Some killer ideas! Having the poker parties, the holiday party...

but remember...

info on YOU is a ONE WAY HIGHWAY...You don't want to hear about WH...you just want all talking about YOU and how KEWL Hurting has become.

You're learning a bit of mental ju jitsu!

How can I knock some sense into your head when you keep talking trash to yourself?

....

feelings are just that F E E L I N G S

you are entitled to feel any darn way you feel ~~~>>> BUT ~~~>>> please do not allow yourself to take your feelings and use them as as sort of factual currency ....

right now ... all these thoughts and ruminations about WH/OW are KILLING your recovery chances and THAT is not suposed to be your main goal of plan B , is it?

so ... feel what you feel ... then STOP right there

STOP drawing conclusions about "what is going on in WH's head and heart" .... coz the TRUTH is YOU DON'T KNOW .... you only feel

Peachy,

I am going to have the party and do some stuff for the holidays.

I am doing it for me because I want to. Yes it will be nice for WH to know life goes on without him. But I do wonder if it really will make an impact on him. Not that it should matter but I do wonder.

I keep telling myself don't worry about it he is in LOVE and HAPPY...... Get over it...... God I wish I could.....

Your right Pep I don't know what he feels or thinks.... I just imagine and I have got to try and learn to not do that..... I am glad you keep me straight here....

I believe his care and love for you is there Hurting, it's just buried underneath all the fog. Praying for the fog to lift!!


It could be that he has been told by a lawyer to stay away from the house until court proceedings.

He knows he is going to be served, and I believe he is avoiding it. I wonder if the process server can call him this week and make a meeting point to serve him. I think that will be the only answer to his being served.


Lady

he asks the kids what you are doing ...

USE THIS to ***shine and dazzle***

lady,

I don't think he will willing meet the server. Why would he when he has been avoiding him all this time.

I am going to talk to the attorney and see if we can figure out something. I am going to try and find out if he will be at the bowling alley again on Saturday. Turns out WH didn't show up to the bowling alley until almost noon time. The server has been there between 11 and 11;30... So he missed him by just a few mins. Why can't WH ever be on time ????? lol