I think Mojo is correct .... I am wrong here.

Pep,

Ok then we won't do any of that talk.

WH gave MIL a message for me today. Says he didn't get paid yet because of the holiday so no money.

I have a hard time believing that though he has drect deposit into his account. I have no way of knowing for sure. But he has had direct depoist for years and he always got paid on holidays either the day before. He seems to forget he worked for this same company when things were good. My memory is not the one in question here, his is...

But I keep telling myself, don't worry about it, he is just hanging his own neck for the judge. Sure isn't going to look to good in court trying to explain giving me no money for the last few months and especially how little he has given from the beginning. Bank statements don't lie....

okay oklahoma....tell us where, when and what to bring....


you ARE inviting us to your holiday bash right??

Eav,

Of course any of you can come.... Not sure when yet but when I know I will let ya in on the details....

I have to say Eav you are doing great. Keep up the good work...

You're right Hurting. I don't think judges look kindly on cheating H's that neglect thier responsibilities. No phone, no gas. That is getting right down to cruelty. You make sure you tell the lawyer and judge that you have never went without a phone or gas in 24 years (if it's been that long).

Lady

have you read the recent advice i got from Jennifer?

Lady,

We have never had anything turned off since we have been married. We have lived here 17 yrs. and always had all of these things. Yes sometimes it was rough but never had anything turned off.

It just really makes me so mad he could seem to careless about any of it now. Just don't get how you turn so cold to someone you have taken care of for so many years.

Well I hope the judge lets him have it. A slap of reality is what he needs about now. You can walk away but you still have resposbilities.... I am to the point right now I want him to hurt and hurt good.... I know someday he will have to answer for all of this to God and I would not want to be in his shoes for that.....

Eav,

I did read it.... I wish I had the money to call the Harleys. I could sure use their advice. But heck I can't even pay the bills here more or less call them....

Eav just keep following her advice she knows what to do....

Well the weekend is over and had no drama. So all in all pretty good.

Didn't get any money from WH, nor did he get the gas taken care of. I don't believe his story of not being paid but I can' prove it.

I talked to DD last night about the Christmas party idea and she loved it. So we will plan it together.

Hope everyone else had a good weekend....

Doesn't matter if he got paid or not. Bottom line is he didn't think enough of you and kids to make sure the gas was turned back on. Apparently he had enough $$ to do the laundry.

What a sorry [censored] for leaving you without gas. It's not like it's a luxury item. You don't have hot water etc or is it just heat?

Shows how deep in the fog he is.

Send him my way and I'll give him a good kick in the behind and a few words to go along with.

Sorry you're having to deal with this crap. You're doing very well - - Keep it up.

It means no heat or hot water. For now we boil water to do dishes and bathe with. And lucky for us its still pretty warm so no need for the heat.

But I do have a few space heaters if needed. I don't like them because of the pets and they could be very dangerous i not careful but for now I have not many choices.

I don't know if its fog or the fact he just flat does not care anymore. Which ever it is I don't see him coming out of it or coming back home anytime soon or if ever....

Oh my gosh, Hurting - I just can't believe he has left you living like that.

One day he is going to regret this so much.

I'm happy to hear about the party you and DD are planning. It's great to have something fun to think about!

{{{Hurting & Kids}}}

Alph.

Thanks Alphin for the hugsssss.....

I do hope he will regret it someday but I don't see that day coming anytime soon. Right now he just does not care. OW is his world.

Yes the party will be fun. Everything here will be ok by then. Bad as I hate to say it DD will help me get the gas turned back on when she gets her check on the first of Dec. if WH has done nothing by then. She gets a check every four months on her settlement from a car accident that happen years ago. I am so glad she is going to help me take care of things. I will definatley let my attorney know she paid for these things o the judge can know my DD used her money to help while WH played.

So in a few weeks things should be better.

I would be livid if I had no hot water etc. Don't know how you do it.

He doesn't know if he's coming or going or what end is up.

Party planning and decorating are is a great idea.

This next week with Thanksgiving is going to get to him BIG TIME.

Glad to hear your DD is stepping up to the plate and helping as - as so she should.

Inanutshell,

I am very angry over this but it will do me no good to go off on him. It will just give him more to justify his behaviors. I figure the time will come when he will finally understand what he has done and he will pay for it. I truely believe what goes around comes around. It's not for me to make that happen its up to God.

I don't know about Thanksgiving really bothering him. I know he will miss not having some of our trafitional food we cook, unless he gets OW to make it. But it won't be the same as ours.

We are having a big day planned at his sisters home and the kids will not be with him that day at all. They both decided to be with all of us. Will be family and friends there and my SIL and BIL are having some of the single soilders who can't home to be with family over as well. My BIL is in the army. So will be a houseful of people.

I hope the holidays get to him. I know they will me...

Well I have something new on my plate now. I just don't know what to say about it.

DD has come to me and has decided after the first of the year she wants to move to Indiana to live with her brother and his family. She feels she needs to get away from here and make a fresh start.

I just don't know what to say to her. It will then just be myself and DS here. I just feel like I am loosing the whole family. First DS and DIL move away , then WH does what he does and now DD wants to leave.

I do understand her thoughts on this but I am not sure if I can handle it. Why is my family just falling apart? This is all so unfair.......

18 year olds move away ... then come back

don't fret this one ... it's going to be a boomerang maneuver

Hurting:

Separate this out as a DIFFERENT ISSUE with your daughter..

Her wanting to leave doesn't mean that your family is falling apart, IMHO...

It's appropriate for her AGE and STAGE to want to separate from the both of you...

It will HELP HER emotional growth, in the long run....

It is a GOOD DECISION on her part...

Had she thought about going into the military or going to college though rather than moving in with her brother?

Hurting,

It may be bad timing for you, but I would agree with Mimi.

I guess cliché aren't clichés for nothing. Ever hear of this one: when it rains it pours!

You may be looking at it only from your perspective. Try and see it from 'her' perspective - it might help.

Your role as her parent is changing: no longer need to take care of her, but she will always need your support. Another sign that life continues all around us.

Hugs.

Mimi.

No she does not want to go in the military. For now college is out of the question because she has dropped from high school with WH'S help.

She says she is going to get her GED. I hav no clue what she will do. She just wants to get away from here and see if she can start over and find a job there.

She wants something new and she is right about one thing the job market sucks here. I should know it took me forever just ot get a Burger King job.

If it were not for DS15 I would maybe consider moving myself. But I can't take him away from his dad. I am sure WH would fight me on this anyway.

I just feel like giving up and moving away from here. I don't see were anything is going to change for me here. I feel like i am living in a alternate world from eveyone else.

Everywhere I go and everything I do has so many meomories attached to them. Heck even going shopping in Wal-Mart has memory attached to it. WH and I always went on Saturdays and he was the cart pusher. Now that memory is clouded by the fact he now does this OW. I just don't know how much more i can take of this. It just hurts way to much for me.

I am trying so hard to be strong and move on but seems something always stalls my progress. When will all of this end and the pain go away?