|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
OMG, and he told you he would help you pack things to move. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> I would have told him I have no plans of moving!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Maybe he is trying to drive you so crazy that you will move.
He sure is a cunning crafty one.
Lady
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Yeap lying seems to be the only thing he does good now days .....
I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be able to know the truth if it ever comes. I never have known him to lie to me before and its just so shocking .....
His mom is beside herself with all of this, she told me today no matter what you will always be my DIL and no one can ever take your place. She said OW will never be welcomed or accepted. She keeps telling me BS he still don't know what he wants, I just feel he will be back especially once he thinks you have moved on and may find someone else. I love my MIL she is the most wonderful person and my rock for now...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
Yea...
This is today's strategy..to get you make the decision to leave him..
It will be something different tomorrow..once they fall out of this "in love" state...
He's gotten high on the DRUG...
That's what I learned that they did..BREAK UP TO MAKE UP..lots of DRAMA..
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
Hurting, you don't think he has plans of moving do you?
Remember before, right before court, he told your MIL or SIL that he couldn't afford CS and SS and he would just leave. I wonder if he would.
I keep thinking you should have gotten the judge to order garnishment, only because of his history of not giving you a dime when your gas and phone were shut off.
Lady
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Lady,
I think he is wanting me to move so he won't have to face me and feel the guilt. Plus I think OW feels insecure and if I am 1400 miles away she can rest that I won't interfer with her agenda.
But like i told WH I have made no descion yet and if I was to go it would not be until school is out which is early summer... We are talking 6 months way before I would do anything..... So anything can happen in that time ...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
No he is not going anywhere. His family lives here this is all he knows. He knows all my family is in Va. and that I would want to be with them if this all happens. But like my MIL said who knows you may find a good job here and not go anywhere. So I can't say for sure what I will do in th future. Its at least 6 months away before anything can happen..
The only way I can garnish his wages is if he does not pay.... So if he messes up then i can request it....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
His voice become soft at times like he was torn and not sure of himself. I do believe he will file the papers now and I will just have to accept this. I do not believe OW knows anything though I think he is lying again. Because I told him he needed to be truthful to her. He said he had been. I think in a way he said that for fear I would tell her the truth. I think she needes to know the truth about the lies and all, I truly don't think he has told her. He said that he had hoped when he saw me friday he would feel something but he didn't. He said it was nice bu he felt nothing. I told him kind of hard to feel anything when your in between two women... Hurting, do you really think your MIL would talk with OW. I would love to see your MIL bust some things up in that household....you know what I mean. She could go to Home Depot and ask if she would be available to talk at lunchtime tomorrow.... or something like that. LET IT ALL BE EXPOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lady
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Hurting - Forget about WH for awhile. It is still much too early in Plan B for him.
The problem is your daughter being pregnant. Does she have plans to support this child?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Believer,
I have tried to talk to DD today and she blows me off. She says she will be responsible, I don't know how with no education or job.
I just know I can't do it for her. I can barely care for myself and DS. I don't have any clue what is going to happen. I am going to try and talke to her again tomorrow.
Lady,
Yes my MIL has no qualms about talking to OW. Something tells me she has plans to do it with or without my approval. We will see.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
My step-daughter was living in my home when she got pregnant. I spoke to her boyfriend and told him time to take care of his responsibilities. They got married and now have 2 children.
Actually the conversation was not real pleasant. He told me his parents were thrilled. I told him that we were not thrilled. But he did step up to the plate and has been an excellent husband and dad.
I suggest that your daughter get a job and ask her boyfriend to be responsible. She has made an adult choice. Now it is time for her to accept the responsibility.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,200
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,200 |
Hurting -
Just wanted to say hi. Have been reading your thread and have been keeping you in my thoughts. Just haven't been posting much lately.
Wanted to give you my words of support -
Take care,
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
Hurting, How did DD find out she is pregnant? Did she see a Dr., take a store bought test...or is she just late on her period and thinks she is. Teenagers say the darndest
things for attention sometimes. I'm just wondering. Tell her you want proof of her pregnancy? If she is has she made an appt with an OBGYN? Those are questions you might want to ask her.
Lady
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 833
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 833 |
OMG, hurting!!! So sorry to hear about all the stuff you're dealing with right now.
I don't have much to say... just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. Hang in there!
(Formerly SadMommy05)
BS, 29 (me)
XH, 27
DD, 1
M, 2001 high school sweethearts
OW, 36, divorcee, "we have a friendship people can't understand"
WH left out of the blue 9/5/2005
I filed 11/1/2005 D finalized 6/20/06 
XH and OW married 1/6/07. Ugh!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
lady,
She says she took a test. I am thinking about getting home test myself and make her take it.
The health dept does free testing as well, so I will look into that was well.... Once I know for sure we can go from there.
I think right now i am walking around in a fog myself. I am just hurting so much with all of this stuff. I just want someone to be here for me and say its going to be alright and hold me so I could just cry.
Things have to get better they just have to ....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138 |
hurting,
I'm sorry this is all pouring down on you at the same time.
i'm sad to say that i wonder if your DD situation has somthing to do with your H and his affair...
just wondering this because when my father put our family through such he!! for years...3of my older sisters ended up turning to boys for "comfort" and to try to get the feeling that they were important to someone
they also ended up pregnant...and unmarried...and very unhappy (not at the same time but over a period of a few years)
my mom threw them all out of the house and ended up later regretting not being there for them...it took years to rebuild thier relationship's with her and one has not truley recovered...
make careful choices right now......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2,023 |
I don't see your situation as hopeless. My H didn't file or even talk to a lawyer as far as I know. The OW went through her DV and then he moved in with her. We had a couple of false recoveries prior to that. It did take him moving in with her and her three kids and my appearing to move on for him to come out of the fog and leave that OW.
I think it is true that when he saw you on Friday that he got his fix and confidence in knowing you are still waiting for him. I think for a while mine thought no other man would want me. We went through him 'cheating' on OW with me prior to one of the false recoveries while he was cake eating. I made my share of mistakes all pre-MB and winging it on my own.
My H's A with that OW lasted 4 yrs on and off. Many would have given up too soon. My H said all the same things as they all seem to say. Others would have thought our situation was hopeless. When I went to a consult with a lawyer I was told there wasn't any reason to rush to a DV; that I was really ready. Legal separation wasn't an option in my state. He was ammenable to all I asked for financially when we were separated. We are in business together so I garnished his wages. A real plan B didn't happen because I had to get messages to him and see him most mornings.
Have you read Dobson's 'Love Must Be Tough'? That was helpful.
You shouldn't do anything to make their A comfortable. I told my H I wouldn't be friends. A bit of 180 was helpful. Not being available that you are moving on. Since you are in plan B maybe you aren't able to get that message across to him. I think it is helpful if he can think he could really lose you.
You will need patience and endurance to wait for this to play out. It is far from over.
You need to believe that you will recover one way other the other and possibly in spite of he and OW.
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Trix,
Thanks for your relpy. But my WH has had the papers drawn up they are just needing his signature. He said today he is signing them and getting the D filed. I saw the papers so I know they are real. So its just a matter of time I guess.
All he can say is he is sorry for hurting me but that it will never work, it won't ever be like it was before. I told him it could be better but he does not believe this. He has comvinced himself i won't work out. So all I can do is just wait it out and pray the R with the OW dies out. Like my MIL and my mom both say even if he goes through with the D there is still hope and they believe he will still come back... I just don't know ...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,978 |
I just want someone to be here for me and say its going to be alright and hold me We're here for you {{{{{hurting}}}}}....everything will be alright!
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609 |
Thank you confused.... it makes me feel good all of you are here....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424 |
I just want someone to be here for me and say its going to be alright and hold me so I could just cry. A big spiritual hug from me too!!! {{{{{Hurting}}}}}
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
315
guests, and
47
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
