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Joined: Dec 2002
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it just makes me mad to be blamed for crap.....


This is standard WS script stuff...

The problem is that you shouldn't be hearing this...

My H tried to blame me for some things even after he came home...

IT'S FOG TALK...AFFAIR JUSTIFICATION TALK...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I know it is Mimi.......

I told all th family today , if he calls with more crap please do not defend or argue any of it with him. We have nothing to defend ... Just say to him sorry you feel this way or that you just don't want to hear it...


They all agreed...... I said I don't want anyone defending me to him about anything .... let him think what he wants...


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
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Hurting - your plan b sucks so bad the OW is trying to get you to break it! lol - yeah - not a bad plan b at all!


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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I don't think she wants me to break it she don't want him anywhere around me ......

But I think I see what your saying , she though I woould get all frazzled and called him to deny all of the phone calls and get more stuff started.... is this what you mean ???


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,424
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Hurting,

I know you are not supposed to be concentrating on WH right now, it's not healthy for you.

But...I had one more thought of what you asked me earlier about how I honestly feel.

I feel your WH being OTR 5 days a week makes it so much more difficult.
I think if he was in town every day, he would have been sick and tired of OW by now.

Lady

Last edited by ladysheep; 12/27/05 10:20 PM.
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Look at it this way. YOU are not engaged in their drama at all. What in the world is she thinking when she has him all to herself?

She knows full well that she will NEVER have all of his attention because you have withdrawn, and she knows distance can make the heart grow fonder - especially when there is very little social acceptance for his sleeping with a sl&t. And that means everyone looks at her for what she is - a sl&t. Until she can bring you back into the conflict, trying to win him back, she can't play the player game she's played to get him out of his nice, warm, familiar family home -

Do you see? She NEEDS you to break Plan B so that she can PLAY!!! She doesn't just want your husband anymore. She's got him and it's not enough. She wants you too! And you won't PLAY! WhaaaahhhhhH!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Gee Hurting! You're no fun anymore! WhaaaaahhhhhHH!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" /> I think I'll steal your daughter and get her to call me Mom - that will get you engaged! WHAT?!!! You didn't engage??!! Whaaaaaahhhhh!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I want more. more more!!! Your husband ain't enough. I gotta have my DRAMA fix!


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
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Lady,

I totally agree with you ...... I have said that from the beginning of him going back out on the road.... I knew it would take longer to burst the fantasy because of being apart..... seeing each other only 2 days a week does not leave much time to LB.... But I do know they talk on the cell phone daily many times...... DS told me this.... then of course she calls him to complain about me or my friends making calls to her.... So some LB's are happening but not enough for sure....

So I was prepared for this to take longer due to these facts...


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
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Ahhh Kayla I got ya ....... For someone who says she hates drama she is causing enough of it ....

Well I will not engage in her stupid tatics..... I have said nothing about DD calling her mom except for the time I heard it and I ranted at DD about it.....

WH and OW don't even know I know...... She will not get me Kayla I won't play that with her.... If I wanted to do that I would have done that at the start, not now after 7 months ..... Sometimes I wish I had confronted her at the start but I didn't and I will not even consider it .... She is not worth my time and energy to even speak to ....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
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Posts: 4,083
Not only that Hurting, but she is actively pursuing his assurance that she is not what she says she is being called - which of course, is the truth - in a sick way like a multiple personality, she has this angry, conscience side of her who wants to be in a legit relationship, but since she's a sl&t, acting like one, stealing a man from his legit wife and children, she knows she can never be legit - she will always be that sleezy thief. She makes up these lies to get him to comfort her and assure her...

Pathetic. But take it also as a sign that the Devil's having a bit of fun with her head and her heart... Pity her, yes. But never pick up a shivering snake!


Cafe Plan B link http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2182650&page=1

The ? that made recovery possible: "Which lovebuster do I do the most that hurts the worst"?

The statement that signaled my personal recovery and the turning point in our marriage recovery: "I don't need to be married that badly!"

If you're interested in saving your relationship, you'll work on it when it's convenient. If you're committed, you'll accept no excuses.
Joined: Jun 2005
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I agree about the OW!!! It's not fun anymore for them when they aren't causing any drama. That's another thing that is so great about Plan B!! The BS has not part in it - HA!

She can never take your DD away - OW is just angry b/c WH is thinking more about you.

Kim


D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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I don't like snakes just run em over with the car. lol No danger in me picking it up.

Oh I knew the call and supposed name calling was all about having him comfort her and making her feel secure. To take a stand for her and defend the Ho.... and it worked for now... How sick .... But I do pray on day WH will see this sick game she is playing.....

I hope the devil is playing with her and making her miserable, but then again someone like that has no feelings for anyone but themselves. But someday she will reap what she has sown..... I hope I am around to see it .....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
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Kim,

Good to see you back, hope you had a nice trip...

I don't know if he is thinking about me much.... He sure is blaming me alot .... But I guess he has to think of me to blame me... lol And believe me he is mad while he is blaming me.... Saying all kinds of nice things .... But at least its not indifference .... So thats a good sign I think .....

Yeah its like when things are quiet something else from their camp stirs the sh%t pot again ......

Pretty sad isn't it ......

Last edited by hurtinginokla; 12/27/05 10:52 PM.

BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
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OP Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Wow I got to work tonight and some of my co=workers made me feel good...

I colored my hair yesterday first time since July. I just didn't care before now. Anyhow I walked in and got so many compliments from I love that color to it makes you look so much younger... Even got a couple of wolf whistles ... lol but all in fun....

I guess I didn't realize how bad I had neglected myself during all of this. I always made sure I looked good whenever WH was around but other than that I didn't worry to much about it. Well now that is changing I am going to look good all the time. Sure made my self-esteem rise tonight....

Now if only WH could see the changes and stop blaming me for everything and do the right thing....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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...I guess I didn't realize how bad I had neglected myself during all of this. I always made sure I looked good whenever WH was around but other than that I didn't worry to much about it. Well now that is changing I am going to look good all the time. Sure made my self-esteem rise tonight....

Orchid: Glad to hear u r finally taking time 4 u. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Quote
Now if only WH could see the changes and stop blaming me for everything and do the right thing....

Orchid: Come here, gotta pull you back on the straight and narrow..... You don't want the WS to see your changes, you want your H to come out and notice you. Stop trying to impress or change the WS. The WS doesn't have good taste so he will never appreciate you. U R 2 good 4 the Ws. U s/b on the look out for catching your H's eye. This will give your H a reason to fight to escape the clutches of the WS.

L.

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Orchid,

Your right I don't want the WH....

I want the real H to notice the changes and do the right thing... Thats what I meant to say .... Of course I don't see him but I am pretty sure he will hear all about it ....

But the main thing is I am doing the changes for me to feel better about myself. And boy did I feel good yesterday ....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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